Like Lovers Do
by maximofo
Summary: A whirlwind romance, a love affair, a dalliance, a fling... no matter what they called it, it all ended the same way. Like the stars that were always against them, their love burned bright, but it went out with a bang. But no relationship can stay truly in the past when the proof is right there, threatening your very future. Reneslec.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or its characters, obviously. If I did, I'd make some drastic changes.**

 **A/N: First and foremost, both Renesmee and Alec are ~18 (physically, at least). Second, the entire story is written in the 3rd Person, but it will kind of jump around to get the feel of a lot of the characters.**

 **Chapter Warnings: mentions of Renesmee/Seth and Jacob/Leah, character death, mentions of sex  
**

* * *

 _"What are we if we are not lovers?_

 _Strangers with hearts that are no longer each others?_

 _I said to you once that we couldn't be friends_

 _Not when something as special as what we had ends_

 _So does that make us lovers that never speak?_

 _Each in love with a lover we could not keep_

 _Are we lovers who now no longer love?_

 _Or lovers who love each other...just, not enough."_

 _Ranata Suzuki_

* * *

The warm Brazilian sun beamed down, heating Renesmee's glowing skin as she sunbathed on the beach of Isle Esme. She sighed contentedly, closing her eyes and focusing on the sound of the waves. She could spend the rest of her days on this beach, if it were up to her. Not many things could measure up to the relaxation she felt here.

Her family had relocated to Isle Esme almost nine months ago. Their time in Forks had come to an end – for the next several decades, at least. It had been difficult to say goodbye to the only home she'd ever known, much more difficult for her than the rest of the Cullens. Isle Esme hadn't been the obvious choice, of course, but it did make the most sense once they thought about it. It wasn't safe for them to go back to one of their other estates yet, not on the off chance that people would still remember them.

She had finally joined her family in their temporary home a couple of months ago. For their first several months on the island, Renesmee had been nowhere to be found, too busy running around Europe under the ruse of a vacation. It had been a lot more than she had expected, and she hadn't said a word about it since she had come back. Her silence was off-putting to the rest of them, but they didn't push her. Bella spent almost every second shielding her from Edward, to try to preserve some semblance of their daughter's privacy. Bella truly believed that if Renesmee wanted to tell them, she would.

Renesmee's phone buzzed and she quickly grabbed it, brushing the loose sand off of it and wincing at how warm it felt from the heat exposure. She had a text from Jacob, a simple "Hey, stranger." She smiled. A whistle came from down the beach, and when she looked up, she saw the sender strutting towards her, a matching smile on his face.

"Jacob," she greeted warmly, sitting up. He plopped down beside her, giving her a quick hug. "I've missed you. It's been ages."

"Whose fault is that?" Jacob joked. "You knew where to find me. You just thought Paris was more important." She noticed he had cut his hair since the last time they'd Skyped.

Renesmee shoved him lightly on the arm, laughing when he pretended to fall over. "I never said it was more important, but now that you mention it…" She pretended to mull it over as he laughed at her. She glanced over her shoulder, barely able to spot the house through the trees, and pulled her legs to her chest. "How was it?"

Jacob's face softened as he stared at her and then looked out at the ocean. The waves crashed onto the shore, calming the two of them despite the difficult topic. "It was good, a good service. Some people asked about Bella, but I made something up. Told them she couldn't handle being there."

When Jacob had called Bella to tell her the devastating news, Renesmee and the rest of her family had had to watch as Bella stormed out and destroyed nearly the entire island. No one, not even Edward, had known what to say to her. Charlie was her father, and it wasn't something one could just blink away like it never happened. All of the Cullens had experienced loss, and they knew it took time to process.

Renesmee nodded and swallowed the lump in her throat. "I guess we'll have to get used to people dying on us," she whispered sadly. Charlie had been the only true grandparent she had. Renee and Phil still didn't know she existed, over twelve years after her birth. He was the first person she had ever truly lost, and it weighed on her.

Jacob sighed, pulling her to his chest, wrapping one arm around her back and using the other to stroke her hair. "You don't get used to it, Nessie. Ever. Every time is as hard as the first."

"I just wish we could've been there," she sniffed. "Maybe I wouldn't feel like such…a piece of crap."

"You know why you couldn't, Ness," he replied, kissing her hair softly. "If Charlie knew, he would've understood." She tried hard to believe that, but she just couldn't. If it had been her, she would've been furious.

Renesmee pulled away, ruffling her hair with her fingers before letting her hand drop to the sand. She cleared her throat awkwardly. "So, what's been up with you?"

Jacob huffed, shaking his head. They both knew what she was getting at, and she knew he wouldn't answer. He'd skirted the subject every time thus far. "I could ask you the same thing. What's up with _you_? Every time someone asks you about Paris, you change the subject."

"Who's changing the subject now, Jacob?" She laughed, actually shoving him over this time. She turned to face him and crossed her legs, regarding him slyly. "All's quiet on the Leah front?"

He groaned, running his hands down his face roughly and frowning when she laughed. "I wish you'd let that go. I never should've told you."

"Oh, no, I disagree. I have material to mock you for the rest of our lives. Seriously though, have you talked to her?"

"Of course, I've talked to her," he said stupidly. She gave him a stern look and he sighed. He could never win with Renesmee. "Look, Ness, I know you think Leah and I have…something, but seriously, a couple of drunken hook-ups do not a relationship make."

Renesmee ran her hands through the sand as she grumbled to herself, "Yeah, tell me about it."

"Woah, wait a second," Jacob gasped dramatically. "Did you just let a secret slip? Renesmee Cullen, did you _hook up_ with someone in Paris?" There wasn't an ounce of jealousy in his voice. They had both agreed years ago that a romantic future was not what was in store for them.

"No!" She protested, but then she sighed. She thanked her lucky stars she had been alone on the island before Jacob showed up, everyone else busy on the mainland. "Maybe…"

"Wait, did you lose your virginity in Paris?" Renesmee snorted unattractively, shaking her head. "So, wait, who did you lose it to? Nessie, do I know _anything_ about you?"

"You know plenty. We just never thought you needed to know _that_ …" she trailed off nervously, biting her bottom lip. She ran her hands through the sand again, the tension building in her chest. Truthfully, she did want to tell Jacob everything – he was her best friend, after all – but she couldn't bring herself to do it.

"'We?'" Jacob asked incredulously. "Who is 'we?'"

Her heartbeat increased, and she sighed again. "I'll tell you, but you can't tell him I told you." When Jacob nodded, Renesmee screwed her eyes shut, waiting for his reaction. "It was Seth."

"Seth?" he asked, clearly taken aback. "As in Seth Clearwater? As in optimistic, bubbly, arguably-most-annoying-member-of-my-pack Seth?" When Renesmee nodded miserably, Jacob took a moment to compose himself. Finally, he asked, "You're not in love with him, are you?"

She laughed, a loud, nearly obnoxious laugh that ached a little in her stomach. "God, no. It was, like, five years ago, right after I'd fully matured. Kinda like a 'I'm really hormonal and I just wanna get it over with' thing."

"But why _Seth_?" Jacob couldn't help but ask. Of all the people she could've slept with – of all the members of his pack, even – why did she choose Seth?

Renesmee smiled at him teasingly. "You jealous, Jake?"

He scoffed, "Please." They just sat there, enjoying each other's company and contemplating their new shared secret. Jacob nudged her shoulder with his lightheartedly. "So, who was the lucky guy in Paris?"

Renesmee just shook her head, squinting in the sunlight as she scooted away from Jacob. She wanted her skin as far away from his as possible while _those_ thoughts ran through her head. It was a secret she would take to her theoretical grave.

He watched her curiously. "You don't have to tell me, y'know. I'm just curious. Was it serious? I mean, you were gone for months."

She tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear, needing something to do with her hands. She tried to think how much she should tell him. "I thought it was. He just…couldn't deal."

"It's his loss," Jacob said seriously. He stood up, briefly dusting off his shorts, and held out a hand for her. "Come on, I brought food. We can go eat and watch Thor."

Renesmee took his hand, standing up and shaking her head at him. "You and your Marvel movies."

Inside, Jacob took a couple of take-out boxes from the fridge as Renesmee grabbed some plates from the cabinet. It was routine, especially since Renesmee had taken to eating more human food recently. As they split the food, she wondered aloud, "When is Seth coming down again?"

"He'll be down soon. He wanted to be there for his mom. She's taking it pretty hard," Jacob said, taking his plate and setting it in the microwave to heat it back up.

 _Poor Sue,_ Renesmee thought. To lose not one love in her lifetime but two. Renesmee didn't know if she could've handled it, but Sue was a strong woman. She knew how to make it through, and if she couldn't, she had two great kids to have her back. At least Sue had had some great years with Charlie before she lost him.

Renesmee swapped Jacob's plate with hers when the microwave dinged, and Jacob took it to the living room. When Renesmee joined him, he had already popped the disc into the DVD player, and they settled down on the floor, their plates on the coffee table and their backs against the couch. She sniffed her food cautiously before taking a small bite. The texture made her gag, but she swallowed quickly before taking a large gulp of her drink.

As the movie played, Renesmee picked at her food more than she ate it, and Jacob noticed. He grabbed the remote and turned the TV down a few notches. "You okay? You've barely touched your food."

Renesmee shrugged, mushing up her food with her fork. "Yeah, I dunno, guess I'm just not hungry." Seeing his concern, she rolled her eyes. "I'm fine, Jake." She took another bite to spare him.

They finished Thor: Ragnarok, Ant-Man, and half of The Avengers before the family came home. Their plates had been abandoned on the coffee table in favor of the sofa, Renesmee's still unfinished. As Carlisle and Edward walked through the front door, Renesmee lifted her head off the arm of the couch to give them a half-smile. Bella wasn't far behind, tapping Jacob on the shoulder and nodding her head toward the terrace. Jacob got up to follow her, and Emmett plopped down in his place. He tickled the bottom of Renesmee's foot and she kicked him. He just chuckled, eyes on the screen as Rosalie perched herself on the other couch arm by her husband.

"'We have a Hulk,'" Emmett recited at the same time as the movie. He leaned in to Rosalie, whispering smugly, "I'm the Hulk." Rosalie shook her head at her love, rolling her eyes. He really was an overgrown child.

Renesmee watched her aunt and uncle with a heavy heart as the rest of the family filed through the door. Some of them spoke, but she didn't hear them. There had been a time when Renesmee could've seen herself like that, happy and cuddled up with the person she adored. But that had been a dream, a fleeting fantasy quickly snuffed out by the harsh truth of reality. Whoever said, 'the truth will set you free,' had obviously never had their heart broken.

At the time, Renesmee had wanted to kick herself for getting caught up with someone like that, but he had made it so easy. He had been dangerous and tempting at first, yes, but eventually, she had discovered another side to him. A gentler side that not many had ever seen – she could probably count the list on one hand. But as soon as Renesmee had realized that she cared for him, that she could maybe even _love_ him, he had taken that delusion out of her head and crushed it. He had said things, cruel, unspeakable things to her. He had broken her heart in one fell swoop, and now she had nothing left of him but memories and thoughts of what could've been.

Nobody could ever know, they had decided early on. Not his family and most definitely not hers. It would take work, sneaking around and clandestine meetings. And at first, it had been just sex, but those things never stay like that for long. And almost as suddenly as it started, it had ended, leaving Renesmee broken and him loathing himself more than ever before.

Renesmee sighed, finally getting up to clean up the mess she had made with Jacob. Taking the plates to the kitchen, she set Jacob's in the sink, scraped her leftovers down the garbage disposal, and then set her plate down on top of his. She turned around, her head spinning as she braced herself against the counter. She shut her eyes until the room stopped spinning, and when she opened them, her mother and Jacob came through the back door, the former looking more distraught than Renesmee had ever seen.

Bella and Renesmee met in the middle of the room, aware of the prying eyes around them. Renesmee reached out to hold her mother's hand, her fingers wrapping around it gently as she projected her thoughts to her. _Are you okay?_

If Bella could still cry, Renesmee knew she would have. Instead, Bella grabbed her and wrapped her in a tight hug, almost cutting off her daughter's breathing. She pulled away to smooth Renesmee's hair, staring into her eyes. The same brown eyes they had both inherited from Charlie. "Yeah, I'll be okay. We'll both be okay."

Oh, if only.

* * *

 **So there's chapter one! If you're looking forward to more, you'll have to be patient with me. I have a few more chapters already written out, but I'm still working on the remainder of the story (plus two more ;)). My plan is to update this every Wednesday, so let's see how that goes. xx**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Come on, you know I don't own Twilight or its characters.**

 **Chapter Warnings: mugging/wounded person, mention of drinking human blood (y'all, it's a vampire story), mentions of sex, language, and (!) pregnancy**

* * *

 _"I can't," Renesmee wailed. Her hands shook as she held herself back. The figure in the corner moaned in agony as her lover pushed her hair to one side and attached his lips to her neck, kissing her skin before nipping it gently. The sensory overload was driving her wild. "I can't resist it for much longer, it's too strong."_

 _He hissed in her ear, hands gripping her hips tightly to pull her closer to him. "Then don't. He's dying anyway. It would be an act of mercy, mi amore." Renesmee moaned as he peppered her throat with kisses. She didn't know if she should be scared by how aroused he was at the thought of her killing a man. Surely, that was encroaching on psychopath territory. But she knew this man, and she knew he wasn't psycho, not truly._

 _Thirst burned in her throat as she stared at the injured man in the alley, the scent of his blood making her almost feral. The blood was what had attracted them in the first place, and boy, was the man in rough shape._

 _It looked like a mugging gone horribly wrong. In the dim light from the nearby streetlamp, Renesmee could just make out his features. One of his eyes was swollen shut, his nose broken at an angle. She could see the blood staining his white shirt from the obvious knife wound in his stomach. His face was pale from the blood loss, and he looked at her like an angel come to save him from certain death. Only she was not and would never be an angel. The closest she would ever come to Heaven was her lover's arms. Especially after what she did that night._

Renesmee woke in a cold sweat, her head pounding and throat burning from the thirst. She knew it wasn't animal blood she was craving, not after she knew how the other tasted, but she refused to take another life. She had done it once, and it had nearly destroyed her.

She threw the comforter off of her sweaty body, and her headache only got worse as she sat up. She groaned to herself, getting out of bed inhumanly slowly and grabbing the closest pair of sneakers. She knew it would be colder outside than in, but she couldn't bring herself to wrap her sweaty body up in a jacket.

She snuck down the hall as quietly as possible, pausing just outside Jacob's door to make sure she didn't wake him. The rest of her family lounged around in the main room, doing their own thing, some giving her curious glances as she quietly slunk out the back door.

Once outside, she set off in a sprint through the jungle, on the hunt for anything that might curb her thirst. She couldn't remember ever being this thirsty, save that one night. It didn't take her long to find her prey. After all but ripping apart several monkeys, Renesmee headed back to the house, satisfied and with only a fraction of the headache. She started to wonder about the symptoms she'd had over the past week. Her unusual lack of interest in eating, her dizzy spell in the kitchen, and now her third consecutive migraine. Not to mention the insane thirst.

 _Am I dying?_ She thought. Her anxiety started to get the best of her, her thoughts running a mile a minute as she slowly trekked back across the island. Maybe Nahuel had been wrong, maybe she wouldn't live to be a hundred. Maybe something was wrong with her. _At least I know I'm not-_

Renesmee stopped cold, her heart dropping to her stomach as she stared at the forest floor. She ran through the possibilities in her mind one more time, wanting something – anything but that – to be true. She couldn't even think it, she wouldn't let herself. Then, without permission, the thought snuck into her brain anyway.

 _Maybe I'm pregnant._

It wasn't possible, it couldn't possibly be possible. It was im-freaking-possible. There was no scientific reason she should be able to get pregnant when she was frozen in time. But then, she reminded herself, there hadn't been much evidence she should've been conceived either yet here she was. Sure, she got a period sometimes, but it was irregular at best. She'd always hated it too, always felt it a little unfair. Humans got their period too, but at least they had some possibility of getting rid of it. It wasn't like Renesmee would ever be the age to go through menopause. Why should she have to suffer an eternity of irregular menstrual cycles? The Big Guy Upstairs must have really hated her.

Renesmee sprinted into the house faster than when she had left it, trying her hardest to clear her mind. If Edward read her mind, all he would hear was _Jacob. Gotta get to_ _Jacob. Gotta get to Jacob._ He'd probably be a little suspicious why she wanted Jacob at 2AM, but he'd get over it. At least until he found out the reasoning.

Renesmee burst through Jacob's door faster than the Koolaid man, darting over to his bed and shaking him awake. He snapped up instantly, hands rubbing his eyes before he even looked at her.

"Ness? What's wrong? What time is it?" When he finally took stock of her worried expression, Jacob shot out of the bed like a rocket, pulling on his discarded shirt and grabbing her by the shoulders. "Nessie, speak."

She shook her head, touching his face to speak to him. _Not here,_ she said. Then she flashed a picture of the waterfall, and he nodded without hesitation. Rather than go back out through the living room and risk getting stopped by her father, Renesmee crawled out of Jacob's bedroom window and waited just long enough for him to follow before she sprinted off again.

Jacob tried to get information out of her the whole way, but she said nothing until they got to the waterfall and she knew they were out of earshot. She paced anxiously in front of him, and finally Jacob couldn't take it anymore. "Nessie!" Her head shot up, her hands dropping to her sides, her nails finally catching a break from her incessant nibbling. "I can see the panic in your eyes. What the hell has gotten you so scared?"

Renesmee took a deep breath and, before she lost her nerve, blurted, "I think I'm pregnant."

Jacob's naturally tan skin, already pale under the moonlight, paled even more. Two heartbeats passed, and all he did was blink. Renesmee was beginning to wonder if Jacob had gone into shock. Finally, he seemed to snap out of it. "What do you mean 'pregnant?'"

She stared at him like he'd grown an extra head for a second. When she realized he wasn't going to say anything smarter, she began to explain it to him slowly. "I think…there is…a baby…in my uterus…" She waited for it to click. One, two…

"Oh, hell no! I am not going through this shit again! What do you even- are you joking? If this is a joke, it's sick, Ness, but I'll just look the other way. Please tell me you're not serious. What the hell would it even be? I-I don't…"

Renesmee tried not to feel offended by his outburst. She knew he just needed to let off some steam, she could practically feel it coming out of his ears. She just watched as he ranted and raved, stomping through the foliage and scaring the animals.

He stopped abruptly. "What do we do?" It amazed her that he still wanted anything to do with the situation. She thanked God he always had her back, whether due to the imprint or not. She shrugged helplessly, looking at him with wide, innocent eyes. She suddenly felt like a child again. A child possibly carrying a child.

She felt her eyes well up with tears. This was an impossible situation. How could she have gotten herself into this mess? Well, she knew the how; she had quite enjoyed the how. She still thought about the how sometimes when she was alone. She just couldn't figure out the what – what was she going to do?

Jacob saw her struggle and quickly crossed towards her, wrapping her in his strong embrace as the tears finally leaked out of Renesmee's eyes. She sobbed into his chest, his warmth doing nothing to comfort her. At that moment, she wanted nothing more than the cold embrace of her family – or him. Jacob stroked her hair, trying to calm her. After a few moments, once her tears seemed like they had subsided, he whispered, "I think we should get Carlisle."

Renesmee pulled away in a panic. They couldn't tell Carlisle! They really couldn't tell Carlisle! They couldn't tell anyone but especially not Carlisle! He'd want to tell her parents immediately, and she wasn't ready for that. She shook her head vehemently, her flight-or-fight response kicking in, making her want to run to…well, anywhere but here.

"Renesmee," Jacob said sternly, holding her at arm's length. He never used her full name, and the fact that he had showed her he meant business. There would be no negotiating. "Either we get Carlisle and get him to help, or we will march back into that house and tell your entire family at the same time."

She looked horrified at her options, but eventually, she relented. He trudged back to the house to get Carlisle, leaving her out there all alone. Renesmee's mind ran miles around the forest, she could barely keep up. She only knew one thing for sure: she was dead meat.

Only minutes later, Carlisle appeared through the trees, Jacob jogging behind him. Her "grandfather" was confused as he looked between the two of them. Renesmee exchanged a look with Jacob, silently wondering how she was going to do this. Telling Jacob had been hard enough on her, but telling Carlisle? It felt like she was standing at the edge of cliff and the only way down was to jump.

"I-uh, well I think that I-I," she stuttered, cursing her nerves. Renesmee huffed, shaking her hands as if to pump herself up. She just needed to say it, rip it off like a band-aid. "There's a chance I might be…pregnant."

Like the genius he was, Carlisle looked at her, looked at Jacob, looked back at Renesmee, and said, "What do you mean 'pregnant?'" Renesmee gave him the same look she had given Jacob.

 _Really?_ She thought. _This man is supposed to be a doctor._ "Pregnant? With child? Expecting? Prego? Knocked up? Bun in the oven?" She listed as many synonyms as she could think of. Really, how could men be so dense sometimes?

"But…how?" Carlisle asked. Oh yeah, he was definitely in shock, Renesmee decided.

She gave him a strange look, heat rushing to her cheeks. "Pretty much the usual way." Well, there had been nothing usual about the way _he_ had touched her, the things he had done to her. There wasn't a day that went by that she didn't miss his touch, his scent, his voice, or his…

 _Too far,_ she thought, grimacing at the way her face flushed darker. Even in the dark, the two men would be able to tell she was blushing. _Thank God Dad isn't around._

Carlisle was still going through his list of idiotic questions. "With who? Jacob?" He looked at the wolf next to him curiously, but Jacob threw his hands up in surrender.

"Wasn't me. And don't ask me, because she won't tell me anything," Jacob grumbled.

"Carlisle," Renesmee pleaded, completely ignoring his last question, "is this even possible?"

The doctor sighed, shaking his head uncertainly. "I'm not sure. These are new circumstances. To my knowledge, none of the other female hybrids have ever gotten pregnant, but theoretically, I suppose it is possible."

She took a step closer to him. "What am I supposed to do?" Renesmee asked desperately. She could feel the tears welling in her eyes again, clogging her throat.

Carlisle sighed, apparently finding it hard to keep eye contact with her. "Well, we don't know just yet if you are pregnant, so I need to examine you, but it's going to be hard to keep that a secret…" He gave her a significant look, and Renesmee flinched.

She thought about fighting, but she didn't feel like losing the second one in a row. She muttered under her breath, already setting off towards her doom. "Why isn't anyone allowed to have a damn secret around here?" Jacob snorted but wisely stayed quiet.

"It's difficult with a mind reader in the family," Carlisle agreed. "Though it seems you've been doing a better job than most." He didn't say it bitterly, just more matter-of-fact. Renesmee wondered if it was possible for him to be bitter at anybody. He always seemed so composed, so compassionate.

She wondered how he'd feel if he ever found out the truth about her. About what she'd done and who she'd done it with.

Edward met them at the door, his expression agitated. "Will someone please explain what's going on? First, Nessie storms in here to get Jacob, and then, Jacob storms in to get Carlisle. Not to mention, Bella's shield is up so I can't get a read from any of you." He slammed the door closed once they were all inside, the force almost splintering the glass. Renesmee flinched.

 _If he thinks he's angry now,_ she thought to herself, once again thankful her dad couldn't hear.

"Edward, why don't you just," Carlisle nodded solemnly to an empty spot on the couch, "sit down?"

Renesmee's father growled, "I don't want to sit down." Alice grabbed his arm and pulled him down beside her anyway, Jasper on her other side. Renesmee knew Jasper could sense her panic, and she was grateful when she felt herself calm even a bit. She shot him a tight smile.

Bella and Esme slowly eased down onto the adjacent loveseat, very aware of the tension in the air. Emmett and Rosalie came down the hallway cautiously, standing behind the back of the couch. Renesmee, Jacob, and Carlisle stood in front of the TV, the youngest flanked by the two men on either side. Jacob gave her hand a quick squeeze of reassurance before letting go.

"Renesmee?" Carlisle asked warily when she just stood there staring at all of them. She couldn't move, couldn't blink, couldn't breathe. In that moment, she wanted nothing more than to dig her own grave and jump in, pulling all the dirt on top of her. She'd do anything if it meant getting out of this.

After what felt like half an eternity, Jacob nudged Renesmee, and she took a deep, shuddering breath. She couldn't hear a sound except for the thundering of her heart in her ears. Her throat closed up, and at the same time, she felt like she was going to puke. She didn't know if that was a pregnancy-related symptom or the coming of a panic attack, something she hadn't experienced in years.

Renesmee had to swallow three times before she could make a sound. "So…I have something I need to say." She blanched, almost pinching herself, at the blank looks she got from her family. "Well, of course, I have something to say, but I-uh, well I'm not sure how to say it or where to start or if this is even a thing I should say. I mean, I kinda feel like I'm dying right now, so there's that, but… Damnit." She closed her eyes, bracing herself.

She opened her eyes again, the looks on their faces almost getting the best of her. For the most part, they looked concerned and sympathetic if not a little confused, save for Edward's frustrated face. Renesmee glanced at Carlisle, who gave her an encouraging nod. "So, for the past week or so, I've been having these…symptoms. Headaches, dizziness, lack of appetite but insane thirst at the same time. I just feel really…off. I, um, talked to Jake and Carlisle, and, uh, we figure I need to be tested…"

"Tested for…?" Emmett asked when everyone else just sat there silently. Renesmee's gulp did not go unnoticed.

Her eyes darted around for somewhere to look, but everywhere they rested it felt awkward, so she stared at the floor. She scuffed her shoe softly and finally found the courage to whisper, "P-pregnancy…"

No one said a word. Renesmee crossed her arms self-consciously as they all stared at her. The temperature seemed to drop from the tension.

"Renesmee," Emmett said, breaking the silence, "from the bottom of my heart…what the fuck?"

A switch flipped, and before Renesmee could blink, her dad was up, literally throwing Jacob out the living room window. The rest of the family followed quickly, half taking the door and the other half just jumping over the broken glass. Renesmee skidded in the sand, attempting to throw herself between the two men, but she was stopped by Alice and Esme. Her aunt held her back from the fight as Esme picked glass out of Renesmee's hair.

Emmett and Rosalie lunged for their brother as Carlisle and Jasper tried to rescue Jacob from Edward's clutches. From what Renesmee could see, Jacob's right eye was black, and there was a significant cut on his bottom lip. She could see little flecks of blood leak through his shirt, but she knew he would heal in moments.

"Dad, stop!" she yelled frantically, trying to break the hold on her. "Dad, it's not Jacob's! Stop it!" Renesmee was close to crying, whether from panic or stress she didn't know. Bella seemed to hear what her daughter had said and started desperately trying to persuade her husband to let go of Jacob.

"What do you mean 'it's not Jacob's?!' Whose is it?" Rosalie shouted over the fray, finally catching everyone's attention. Edward hesitantly released Jacob, who backed up quickly, trying to put distance between the two of them. Everyone's eyes, now almost feral from the near-deathmatch, turned to Renesmee's shaking form.

 _Shit._

Esme and Alice released Renesmee from their hold, and she took a couple tentative steps back towards the house. Her father growled, and she stilled, her heart in her throat. He had never been angry with her before, at least not like this. "Renesmee," he whispered dangerously. "Who is the father?"

Her eyes flickered from one family member to the next, all eagerly awaiting her answer. "I-I can't tell you…" Emmett and Rosalie glanced at each other with their eyebrows furrowed before looking back at their niece. Renesmee could feel her uncle Jasper trying to diffuse the situation.

"Bella, drop your shield," Edward commanded. Her mother shook her head, looking from Edward to Renesmee. "Do it."

"No," Bella refused. "I'm not going to let you invade her privacy like that. She's our daughter."

"Yes, she is, and right now, I want to find the person who got her into this mess and kill them." Renesmee's heart lurched, and she tried to tell herself it was just because her father was angry, not because he spoke of killing her ex.

"Edward, calm down," Carlisle soothed, stepping closer to his son. "We don't even know if Renesmee is pregnant yet. Let me run some tests first." A look was exchanged between the two of them, and Edward finally relented, a pained expression on his face.

"I have to go," Edward muttered, running off in a blur. Bella sighed, following him quickly.

Carlisle stepped forward, motioning for Renesmee to follow him back into the house. She glanced back hesitantly, wanting someone there to hold her hand and tell her it would be alright. "Aunt Rose?" Rosalie's face softened, and she nodded her head, following her niece inside.

"Okay, Ness," Carlisle said softly, taking a seat in the rolling chair behind his desk. He didn't call her by her nickname often, and Renesmee appreciated his effort to soothe her. Rosalie took a seat next to her on the leather sofa in Carlisle's home office, both vampires staring at the dhampir. "Let's start with the basics. I know your menstrual cycle has never been regular, but when was your last period?"

She felt the heat in her cheeks. She knew he was a doctor, but it was awkward for her to discuss these things with her grandfather-for-all-extents-and-purposes. She wondered, for the millionth time that night, if she could die from the humiliation. "Um…April third, I think was the first day."

"You haven't gotten a period in four months?" Carlisle clarified, scribbling something on his notepad. Renesmee nodded dumbly. "I assume you've been sexually active since then." She nodded. "But not since you came home?"

Her face flushed darker as she nodded again. She really, really hated this. She didn't want to bring up all these old memories, not when she had tried so hard to forget them. "Nessie, who was it?" Rosalie asked softly, rubbing Renesmee's shoulder through her thin sleep shirt.

Renesmee bit her lip. She wanted to tell someone, anyone, just to remind herself that it was real. She hadn't said his name in months. He still haunted her dreams in every possible way, but she hadn't acknowledged him in her waking hours except to nurse her broken heart.

But she couldn't tell her family. They had made a promise to each other, and though everything else was broken, she couldn't bring herself to break the last vow still standing. She couldn't betray him like that when she was still in love with him.

It was like a slap in the face. She did still love him, which prompted her to say, "I can't tell you." Rosalie sighed, looking at Carlisle as he slowly leaned back in his chair.

"Renesmee, we can't make you tell us anything you don't want to. I stand by Bella's decision to shield you from your father for your privacy, but can I ask one question?" She nodded hesitantly. "Is he human? You know we would not hold that against you."

Renesmee sighed, staring at her hands in her lap. "No, he's not human," she whispered.

"And you said Jacob was out of the question. I don't suppose it was another wolf?" Rosalie asked. Her niece bristled and shook her head. "So…he's a vampire."

Renesmee nodded finally, her shoulders slumping in defeat. Confirming it felt final, like they would eventually sniff out who it was. After all, their world was only so big.

"Well, even with no name, perhaps this can help explain some things. It could be why your symptoms took so long to present. A growing fetus would take longer to alter your physiology, because your body is frozen in a certain state. But I can only hypothesize that it will alter your body, similarly as you did your mother's, because the fetus would be stronger than you, given its genetic makeup," her grandfather explained.

"So," Edward said, storming in. A black plastic sack swung in his clenched fist. The rest of the family eavesdropped not-so-subtly at the door. "this is why you've been so secretive about Paris. Or were you even in France?"

Renesmee flinched at her father's accusations, but she couldn't deny them. "Of course, I was in France…and Amsterdam and Germany and about a million other places."

"Renesmee, we don't lie to each other," Edward said sadly, handing her the bag. She carefully looked inside, turning white when she saw three unopened pregnancy test boxes. He must've swam to the mainland and robbed a convenience store or something. She looked up at her father, tears welling in her eyes. "I have never been so disappointed in you."

If the first comment had stabbed her in the heart, the second one twisted the knife. Renesmee sobbed as her father stormed out. Jacob quickly knelt before her, both he and Rosalie hugging her tightly as she cried. Another strong, cold hand rubbed her back.

"It's okay, Nessie," Rosalie whispered in her ear. "He's just scared, remembering everything he went through when Bella was pregnant with you. Give him time."

Renesmee had heard the stories. She knew how she had tortured her mother from the inside out, had killed her even. Bella wouldn't even be here today if it weren't for Edward's quick work with the venom. And the aftermath…when Irina had found out about her and fled to Volterra, bringing back an army to…

Renesmee's breath caught in her throat. She couldn't think about that. The same confrontation as years ago, but this time her baby caught in the middle. Would he even put it together? That the creature he was to destroy was of his own making?

The thoughts running through her head should have made her sob harder, but instead she felt numb – ironic, actually. She leaned away from Jacob and Rosalie's embrace, wiping her eyes with the heel of her hand. "Time, yeah, I can do that. I guess I should…" she trailed off, grabbing one of the boxes from the bag.

Esme vanished and appeared back at the door a second later, holding a plastic cup. "Here, you can use this." If the situation wasn't so dire, Renesmee might have laughed at her family's awkwardness.

She took the cup, moving down the hall to the bathroom. As she went to close the door, she noticed her family still congregated in the hallway. She sighed, shaking her head, "This might be a little uncomfortable if you're all standing there listening to me pee."

The men scattered like bugs, making the women laugh before Esme and Alice walked off too. Rosalie stood in the doorway to Carlisle's office and smiled encouragingly at her niece. Renesmee nodded, took a deep breath, and shut the bathroom door.

She all but tore open each box in her haste, pulling out each wrapped test before moving on to the next. She read the directions four times, just to make sure, and then carefully peeled the plastic wrapping off of each pregnancy test. After some careful maneuvering of the cup, and a lot more pee than she thought she had in her, she set it down on the counter and carefully dipped each test in it, replacing the cap and setting it far out of her line of sight.

After a whole thirty seconds of listening to her heart pound and her nails drum on the marble countertop, Renesmee shook her head and walked back out into the hallway and to her room. Rosalie followed dutifully. "How long do you have to wait?"

"Three minutes," Renesmee answered, plopping down onto her bed, grabbing her phone from the nightstand. She set a timer on her phone, albeit it was difficult because her hand shook. Her mind ran a thousand miles a second, thinking about everything and nothing all at once. If her dad could hear her now, he'd probably have a migraine.

Almost without her consent, her fingers wandered, hitting the Photos button before she could think. She went through the motions, clicking on the secret folder, and then her heart leapt in her chest. Renesmee hadn't allowed herself to look at these since she'd come home, but suddenly, seeing his crimson eyes and dark hair, she had to wonder…was she really home? It didn't feel like it to her.

She had taken almost all of the pictures without his knowledge. There was the one of him peeping through the curtain of their hotel room in Berlin, the single sliver of sunlight making his skin reflect in a thousand different directions. She couldn't see most of his face, just a profile, but it was enough. The next photo, she had taken after a very long, generous session of lovemaking. He was lying there, on his back, amongst the disarray of pillows and sheets. His beautiful eyes were closed, and one of his hands was behind his head, the other resting carelessly on his stomach. It was one of those rare moments they had shared where he was completely relaxed.

There were over a dozen pictures just like those, and Renesmee couldn't help but think beauty like that belonged in a museum, not locked away in some castle for the human world to never see and the vampire world to fear. If they knew him, really knew him like she thought she did once, they would know there was nothing for them to be afraid of.

She stopped again on one of her favorite pictures. That was a good day, she remembered, smiling to herself. She had practically dragged him to Vondelpark after much begging and pleading – her begging him to go, him pleading with her to stay inside with him all day, doing nefarious things she would blush about later. Renesmee had won in the end, and they had spent the entire cloudy day exploring the park. Around two o'clock that afternoon, the rain had started to come down in droves, soaking them from head to toe, but she hadn't cared. She had pulled him around, splashing in puddles and dancing in the rain. He had kissed her, right there in the middle of the park, with such fierceness she had worried she would become a puddle on the ground herself. Once the rain had stopped, they made shelter under a large tree, curling up together like two cats settling in for a nap. Her phone had come out, and he had looked at her dissatisfied at first, but he quickly gave in, letting her take the selfie.

Renesmee smiled as she stared at the picture, taking in their sodden appearances and unkempt hair. That was, decidedly, one of the best days they had spent together, and she knew he would say the same if she could ask him. She wanted nothing more in that moment than to be able to text him, but of course, he didn't own a phone.

"What are you looking at over there?" Rosalie asked, moving closer to her. Renesmee quickly hit the home button on her phone, trying to keep her private photos from prying eyes. She was saved from answering by the timer finally going off. "Are you going to look, or would you like me to?"

Renesmee floundered for a minute before she decided, "We can both go." She got up, leaving her phone on the bed, and took Rosalie's hand, something she hadn't done in years. They walked down the hallway together, meeting Jacob at the bathroom. He already held one test in his hand.

"Sorry, I couldn't wait any longer," he thrust the test out to her, his face grim. "I guess this is the part where most people say congratulations."

The big pink plus sign stared up at her, and Renesmee felt her heart sink to her stomach, her hand feeling clammy in her aunt's. She couldn't even move to grab the test before, like a sack of potatoes, Renesmee dropped to the floor.

* * *

 **A/N: Am I actually on schedule? Holy crap, what? I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, because there's more of this story to come. Hang in there! xx**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: This shouldn't have to be said, but I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR ITS CHARACTERS.**

 **A/N: Thank you so so much for your wonderful reviews! I try to write things that I want to read, and now seeing that you guys want to read it too is amazing!  
**

 **Chapter Warnings: pregnancy (we've established that), mentions of abortion, language, mention of Renata/Demetri**

* * *

Pregnant. A plus sign. A _baby_. A...what the hell is it? Renesmee knew there would be no surprise South American for her Aunt Alice to drag in and save her ass this time. This was completely new territory, for everyone. It could go down in the vampire history books, right next to "extinction of the Cullen coven."

 _How could I have been so reckless?_ She asked herself as she sat in the living room, arms wrapped around her legs as she tried to ignore the continuous stares from her family. She'd been trying to tune her father's disapproving, irate voice out for a while now. Nothing he could say could make her feel any worse right now. Besides, he had already expressed himself quite clearly. She didn't need to hear any more.

Really, she had been questioning her recklessness since the last time she saw _him._ At the time, it had been so easy for her to get caught up in him, in his danger, in his irritating charm. But as soon as he had vanished from her life, she had started kicking herself. And apparently, the kicking wouldn't stop for the next...eternity.

"Carlisle, there must be something you can do," Edward growled. He'd been trying to make his point for the past ten minutes, pretty much as soon as they'd all made sure Renesmee hadn't died of shock.

"What would you have me do?" Carlisle asked impatiently. It was probably the closest to losing his cool Renesmee had ever seen. He set a huge, leather-bound book on the dining room table. It released a dull thud that made Renesmee flinch. "Forcibly remove the fetus against her wishes? We've already been through this conversation, Edward."

Renesmee flinched again, curling in on herself even more. She knew all about how her birth had killed her mother, and it made her sick every time someone brought it up. To even think that this child could do the same to her… She paled, her stomach going queasy.

"If you even think about touching her against her will," Jacob growled at Edward, getting in his face.

Edward laughed at him humorlessly, "I believe I've said that exact thing to you before." He pressed right back at Jacob, backing him up. At this rate, they'd be in another fight any minute. Renesmee shook her head to herself at their little game. "Only we were talking about someone else."

"Okay, chill," Bella said, breaking her husband and best friend apart. "We're not talking about _that_ tonight. This is about Renesmee." The two men reluctantly backed away from each other, Jacob taking a second to give a reassuring look to his imprint across the room.

"Why don't you just ask her what she wants? It's her body, it's her choice," Rosalie defended her niece. Renesmee was thankful for the few people who were on her side, but she was tired of this conversation going around in circles.

"Rosalie, get real. She's twelve years old, she doesn't know what she wants. She wanted chocolate milk in her cereal yesterday! She had no business having sex in the first place, and when I get my hands on whoever did this to her…" Her father marched on through his little tirade. Renesmee rubbed her temples in an attempt to ease the ache in her head.

"Okay," she snapped, sitting up straighter and catching her family's attention. "First of all, that cereal was amazing. And second, do not bring up my age like it actually freaking matters. You guys always say I function like a forty-year-old or something, and that's ridiculously untrue, but it doesn't mean I can't function just like the rest of you. In case you forgot, the two of you," she motioned between her parents, "also had a baby at a fairly young age. So don't give me any crap. Nothing you could say could make me feel worse right now."

She jumped to her feet, stalking across the floor, her hands becoming more expressive as she ranted. "Also, Aunt Rose is right. It is my decision. But I've only known about this baby for like three hours, so I haven't made my mind up yet. Can we all just take a damn chill pill?" Her family, save for Jacob, looked at each other, taken aback at her outburst. Jacob just smirked at Edward, his arms crossed over his chest. Renesmee rolled her eyes at his smug attitude.

Emmett chose that moment to speak his piece. "I agree with Nessie. Look, most of us wanted to kill her when Bella was pregnant," Renesmee glared at her uncle, but he just ruffled her hair and kept talking. "Look at what we would've missed out on. We can't just jump to conclusions here."

"But remember what we had to go through to get here," Alice reminded him vehemently. Everyone tensed, remembering their own version of the events. Gathering the witnesses, the confrontation, the aftermath, and the eventual treaty.

After almost three years of looking over their shoulders, Carlisle had finally decided enough was enough. It had been a long, drawn-out process - one in which some members of both sides were unhappy - but eventually, Aro had agreed to a truce. With exceptions. Edward had to keep his mind open; if he ever sniffed out anyone who could pose a danger to their world, he was to report back immediately. Alice was to do the same, keeping an eye on the future and reporting anything suspicious immediately. And if they - along with Bella - were ever needed for a mission that could not be handled without them, they were to report, no questions asked. With those terms set, Aro had agreed - with much objection from Caius - to let the Cullens live in peace, with promised visits from Carlisle every few years of course.

"Yes, well now that you've brought it up," Carlisle said, calmly closing the book and pushing it away, "I believe it's in our best interest to let Aro know of this as soon as possible."

 _No. Freaking. Way._ Renesmee almost fainted again as all Hell broke loose. Everyone started protesting at once, none of them agreeing with Carlisle's decision. Renesmee's head pounded with the stress as her mind ran a mile a minute. She couldn't let them tell the freaking Volturi, there was no way. If Aro knew, it was only a matter of time that it got around the guard and then she'd be screwed. He would put two and two together and come up with "holy shit, I'm the father" every time.

"Please, you can't!" Renesmee blurted, interrupting their debate, the one she hadn't been paying attention to because she'd been too wrapped up in her life flashing before her eyes. "They'll...they'll kill me! They'll kill all of us!" She knew she was grasping at straws, being a little overdramatic, but her words still held merit with some. Her father being one of them. It appeared the only people he trusted less than her now were the Volturi.

"Not telling them is a violation of the treaty. If they found out we kept this a secret, it would be grounds for our executions," Carlisle reasoned. "We can't afford to make an enemy of the Volturi again. We have to think about what's best for all of us, especially if Renesmee chooses to go through with this pregnancy."

If. That was the key word. She didn't have to do this. They could just get rid of it, and no one would be any the wiser. It would be a valid choice. They wouldn't have to worry about the Volturi. She could keep moving on with her life, forget about him… Forget. That's what she wanted, right? To move on, forget the whole liaison ever happened. That's what she had been trying to do since she got home, to no avail. And now that she knew she was carrying their baby?

Her hand found her flat stomach as her mind ran through her options. She had once thought she had nothing to remember him by but a few pictures. But this? This baby was her chance to hold onto one small piece of him. Their world was small, so she worried how long she would be able to keep their child a secret, especially if the Volturi came sniffing around. But her mind was made up in that instant. She knew in her heart she couldn't get rid of their baby in good conscience, not unless something was seriously wrong.

"I wanna do it," she said decidedly, interrupting whatever they had been arguing about now. Most of her family looked around confused as to what she meant exactly, but a few - her mom, her dad, Rose, Esme - just knew. Renesmee took a deep breath, trying to calm her rapidly beating heart. "The baby, I wanna try. If it gets too dangerous, I promise I'll reconsider, just...please."

Rosalie wrapped one arm around her niece, giving her a soft smile. She looked around the room, challenging anyone to change her mind. Carlisle sighed, "Very well. But we do need to consult the Volturi, or just Aro, at the very least."

Renesmee swallowed, her heart in her stomach as she slowly nodded. "I know." That's what she was afraid of.

It took almost twenty minutes for everyone to wrap their heads around her decision and calm down enough to be able to walk away. The fighting was far from over, Renesmee knew, but she was glad to take a break for a while. She felt like she was finally able to catch her breath.

"I still need to do an examination, to confirm and then take measurements and things like that. We should try to figure out how far into this pregnancy you are before we progress. Much of this will be trial and error, but we have to start somewhere," Carlisle explained, leading Renesmee back to his office after everyone had dispersed, Edward leaving with Bella to clear his head and the rest of the family trying to go back to the things they were doing before Renesmee had turned their lives upside down once more.

Renesmee felt safe in her grandfather's hands as he lead her through the common procedures. The whole thing took over an hour, leaving Renesmee exhausted by the end of it. She wanted nothing more than to get back to sleep, though heaven only knew what she would dream about now.

Carlisle established that although she hadn't had sex for two months, she was still in the very early weeks of pregnancy. It was his guess that, like he had explained before, this child would take more time to develop because of its vampire genetics and Renesmee's own frozen anatomy. When he hypothesized that it could take up to a year for her to have the child, Renesmee almost vomited. An entire year of being pregnant? How would she ever freaking survive it? It was just another way that she had been royally screwed over.

Carlisle couldn't find a heartbeat yet - if the fetus would even have one - not without a heartrate doppler or ultrasound machine, both of which he knew he would have to invest in again. Besides writing down her symptoms and general information, there wasn't much he could do for her at the moment without the proper equipment. With that in mind, he sent her to bed where she tossed and turned for the rest of the night, her mind running too fast for her body to fully relax.

* * *

 _ **Volterra, Italy**_

 _ **One week later**_

Esme stared out the passenger window restlessly, and Carlisle couldn't help but smile softly at his wife, grabbing her hand with his larger one as he used his other to navigate the car through the crowded street. "I don't like this, Carlisle," Esme whispered, fraught with tension.

Carlisle sighed, squeezing her hand before releasing it and easily maneuvering into a parallel parking space. "I know, sweetheart. But we've come too far. It's taken us years to get to this point in the alliance. We can't afford another confrontation."

"It just feels like we're selling her out. Renesmee is part of our family, Carlisle. I can't imagine something happening to her, or to this baby now." Esme climbed out of the car, welcoming the fresh night air as she walked around the car to join her husband on the sidewalk.

Carlisle pulled her to his side, giving her a quick kiss on her forehead before winding his arm through hers as they set on their way. "Your heart is good, that's what I love most about you. You value our family over everything else. Just trust that I am doing this because I believe it's what is best for our family."

"I do trust you," Esme said, gripping his arm a little tighter. "That doesn't mean I have to like this." Carlisle just chuckled, shaking his head at her.

They found the entrance easily enough, and Carlisle pulled the door open for her before stepping inside and closing it behind them. When he turned back around, Demetri stood before him, polite but formal, just like he always was when doing business.

Carlisle greeted him with a curt nod, "Demetri." Esme stayed silent, though she didn't cower behind her mate. She never flinched.

"Carlisle, Esme," Demetri said in turn. "We've been expecting you. This way." He turned around, leading them through the dimly lit hallway. The three of them were quiet as they followed the familiar route to the throne room, passing an empty receptionist's desk on the way there, the few humans in the castle gone for the night.

Demetri threw open the big double doors, leading the couple into the throne room. "Masters, they're here."

"Yes, we can see that, Demetri, thank you," Caius sneered. Demetri simply bowed his head, though the tension in his shoulders did not go unnoticed by the pair behind him. "Wait by the door."

"Thank you, Jane," Aro whispered, dismissing the girl by his side. The blonde nodded her head, swiftly moving down the steps and past Carlisle and Esme, not sparing a glance in their direction. Aro followed her, pausing in the center of the room, grinning like the Cheshire cat. "My dear friend, Carlisle. To what do I owe the pleasure? You were not very specific in your message."

"My apologies, Aro, the matter is...quite sensitive," Carlisle apologized. Aro nodded his head sympathetically, his expression giving Esme the creeps. Aro held out his hand, and Carlisle stepped closer, glancing cautiously around the room. Demetri was the only guard remaining, but he stood quietly in his place, staring ahead as if he couldn't care less about the situation at hand. Carlisle slowly gave Aro his hand, watching tensely as his old friend rifled through his head.

Seconds later, Aro dropped the hand as if it had scalded him, his face betraying his shock. "Brother?" Caius called, almost alarmed.

Aro's eyes never left Carlisle. "It appears our young Renesmee has gotten herself into quite the situation." Everyone in the room tensed, the Volturi members from suspicion and the two Cullens from fear. "But what would you have me do, Carlisle?"

"We need your help," Carlisle explained calmly. "Leniency."

"Leniency for what?" Caius sneered, then he shook his head in anger as he realized he was being ignored once again.

Aro shook his head, stepping back to pace around the room. "Carlisle, you are a dear friend, but I cannot be lenient if I do not know how this will affect our world. It could mean the end of all of us if the situation gets out of hand."

Carlisle nodded, "I know that, but as you said, we don't know how this will affect us. Just give us time."

Aro shook his head, disbelieving. "Time for what? For the end to come? The dangers are perilous."

"Time to observe, to figure something out. Renesmee has even agreed herself that if the situation gets out of control, we can terminate."

Aro sighed, whirling around and waltzing back to his throne, sitting abruptly. He rested one elbow on the arm, his chin in his hand as he considered the proposal. Carlisle and Esme glanced at each other, and after what felt like an eternity of wondering, Aro sat up straighter. "Alright. You estimated a year. We will...see where this goes."

Esme let out a breath of relief and Carlisle nodded gratefully. "However," they tensed again, "I will be going back to Brazil with you, to witness for myself. If that is alright with you, dear Esme? It is your house after all." They all knew it was an empty gesture, a common decency that meant nothing when it came to Aro. They had no choice in the matter. Esme nodded politely, a tense smile on her face.

"Brother, you are leaving?" Caius asked urgently. "What is going on?"

"All in good time, Caius. I will explain everything, but while I am gone, I shall be placing you in charge. And I will be taking a few of our people with me. Demetri," he beckoned the guard forward. "Go to Felix and Renata, tell them to pack a bag. You pack one as well. You will all be coming with me." Demetri nodded, quickly clearing out of the room.

Demetri's quick pace brought him to Renata's room in an instant. He knocked impatiently, waiting for her to open. When she did, she scowled at him, ready to slam the door in his face. "Pack a bag, we have a mission."

Renata glared at him disinterestedly. "I don't go on missions."

"You do when Aro leaves the castle." She tensed, giving a curt nod, and telling him she would be ready soon before slamming the old door so hard it rattled. He had lost count of how many times she had done that, amazed that her door hadn't needed to be replaced but twice over the centuries despite the abundance of cracks and splinters in the wood. He rolled his eyes, continuing on down the hall.

"You too, Felix," Demetri called, sauntering towards Felix's room. He heard a thud, like Felix had literally dropped whatever he had been doing, and he shook his head.

Felix threw his chamber door open, sticking his head out to look at his friend. "Come on, really?"

"Aro's orders. I like it much less than you do," Demetri replied, suppressing the groan that desperately wanted to slip out. The bigger man looked at him skeptically as Demetri got closer.

"Who else is going?"

"Just the three of us."

Felix released Demetri's groan instead, turning around and stalking back into his room. "Great, so I get to be the middle man and try to stop Renata from ripping your head off your shoulders."

"Oh, Felix, Demetri's rejected Renata before. She'll get over it some time in the next century," Alec joked as Demetri glared at the two of them. "Why is Aro going on this one? He never leaves the castle unless it's urgent."

"Does this have something to do with Carlisle? Jane stopped by and told us he had finally arrived." Felix took a small suitcase out of his wardrobe, packing it slowly. He always took his time, and it drove the rest of them crazy.

"Yes," Demetri said, slinging his lean body across Felix's couch across from where Alec was perched in the recliner. Felix's room was nothing short of a man cave; it was their favorite room to hang out in. "Aro seemed...spooked. He didn't like whatever he saw."

"Spooked? What, no details?" Felix asked curiously, meticulously folding his clothes.

"Nothing telling. Carlisle said he was looking for leniency, 'time to observe,' he said. But whatever it is, it appears sweet Renesmee is at the center of it," Demetri explained, casting a casual glance over at Alec when he said her name. Alec clenched his jaw, trying not to lose his composure. It all went unnoticed by Felix. "I suppose I should go pack as well."

Alec quickly caught up to Demetri as he sauntered down the hall to his room, though he didn't say anything, not right away. Once they were firmly locked away in Demetri's room, they started speaking the only way they knew to keep their conversation private - sign language. Most of the guard had learned it at one point, as living in close quarters with so many vampires didn't allow you many secrets unless they were exchanged silently or outside of the castle walls.

 **Talk. Now. What's going on?** Alec signed quickly.

Demetri sighed, abandoning the suitcase he was packing on the bed. **I already told you everything. I don't know anything more.**

 **They didn't give any other hints?**

 **None. They only said that she's in a dangerous situation, and they need time to figure things out. Aro was afraid it could be dangerous for all of us, but he agreed to give them time so long as he was there to witness.**

Alec groaned, tugging at his hair. His friend could tell how worried he was as soon as Demetri even mentioned danger. Despite Alec's best efforts, Demetri knew just how much his friend cared for the Cullen girl. He could remember the conversation like it was yesterday, though to a vampire it might as well have been.

 _"Alec," Demetri called mischievously as the older vampire tried to hurry away to his room. He had been gone for a few days now, not for the first time. Alec had been running off for months, always coming back with gifts for his sister. No one else in the guard had been the least bit suspicious, but Demetri just knew. "Care to go for a walk? I would love to get out from behind these stone walls."_

 _Alec started to protest, but at the look on the tracker's face, he knew he had been busted. He gulped reflexively, giving a small nod before turning back the direction he had come. The sun had already set, so they were in the clear to wander the streets._

 _Once he was sure they were far enough away to not be overheard, Alec sighed, "Alright, how did you figure it out?"_

 _"My, Alec, whatever do you mean?" Demetri played dumb, enjoying the one time he ever had the upper hand. Alec growled, clenching his fists, seriously contemplating just knocking Demetri out with his power. Demetri relented. "I'm the world's best tracker, and you are covered in her scent. It's very sweet, by the way, enough human to make it appealing but enough vampire for you not to want her blood."_

 _Alec growled, stalking even closer, glaring at his friend. They saw eye-to-eye so neither of them had to struggle to see the feeling behind the other's eyes - Alec's rage at being found out and Demetri's humor at being the one to catch him. "Who did you tell?"_

 _"No one, don't be an idiot. You're my friend, Alec. Your secrets are my secrets."_

 _"A secret…" Alec pondered, narrowing his eyes. "And you're willing to keep it?"_

 _Demetri scoffed, offended that Alec didn't trust him. "Of course, I will. Who do you think I am? Actually, don't answer that, I'm not sure I want to know what you think of me. But Alec, I haven't seen you this happy… well, ever. I don't think I've ever seen you express this much emotion since I met you." He clapped a hand on the boy's shoulder, which Alec flicked off roughly. "You can trust me."_

 _Alec nodded begrudgingly, not saying another word as he turned back towards the castle. Demetri followed, wondering still...how it started, why, how long they thought they could keep it up. If he wasn't such a ladies' man, Demetri's hopeless romantic side would be impressed. "I just have one question, and then I'll never bother you about her again." Alec groaned, stopping in his tracks._

 _"Do you love her?" Demetri could tell that was the one question Alec had been hoping he wouldn't ask. The muscle in Alec's jaw twitched as his eyes shifted from side-to-side, looking for his lie like it would suddenly materialize. "You don't have to answer me. But I hope you do, otherwise you're risking her life for nothing."_

Alec had disappeared after that, coming back two days later, empty-handed no less. He had also been grumpier than ever. That was when Demetri knew that Alec or Renesmee one had broken things off, but he never asked. He let Alec move on the way he knew he needed to, and they never mentioned Renesmee's name again. Until today.

 **Please…** Alec signed before shaking his head and turning a half-circle, pulling at his hair again. Demetri was beginning to worry for his friend's mental health. "Christ, I shouldn't even be asking this."

 **Please make sure she's okay.**

Demetri nodded. **Of course… Are you?**

Alec shook his head, chuckling bitterly. **I haven't been okay in months.**

* * *

 **A/N: Aaaaand we finally get to see the Volturi! Get ready, I have plans for a _lot_ of Demetri in this story. And mymymy, how long will Alec be in the dark? Hang in there, it's getting juicier! xx**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or its characters, never have, never will.**

 **Warning: pregnancy (duh), mention of anxiety/nightmares, language**

* * *

"Nessie, would you stop fidgeting?" Jacob asked impatiently, wishing his imprint would just sit down. She had been pacing around the room ever since her father got off the phone with Carlisle ten minutes ago. She was chewing on her already-too-short thumbnail.

"Here, come get something to eat," Emmett called from the kitchen, shaking a box of Cocoa Puffs at her before pouring it in a bowl, the milk quickly following. She looked at him like he'd grown a second head.

"Eat?" Renesmee cried, stomping over to the kitchen island. "I can't eat at a time like this!" She protested, already shoveling food into her mouth. She tried not to seem too sated so as to not give her uncle the satisfaction. There were only certain times she could hold human food down, but so far, the growing fetus seemed satisfied with the blood Renesmee had consumed a week ago, though she knew she would have to go hunting again soon.

"Aro agreed to give us time. Carlisle seems to think there's hope, and he said Aro doesn't seem keen to end the treaty either," Rosalie soothed her niece as Emmett gave his wife a sweet kiss on the cheek before leaving the room. "I don't know why he would be though. The treaty gave him practically everything he could have wanted."

They both heard Alice from two rooms away as she said, "It will be fine, Ness. I promise."

Renesmee sighed, her spoon clinking against the bowl. "You can't know that. You can't see my future, remember?" She spooned more puffs into her mouth in frustration. All of the bottled up tension in her body was getting to her more and more. She didn't like keeping secrets.

For the millionth time, she wished she could tell someone the truth. The whole truth. But she knew she couldn't, especially not now with the star of her nightmares coming to visit. As she thought of the pickle she was in - and about _him_ for the thousandth time that day, despite how she tried not to - she thanked her lucky stars her parents had run off again. They had been doing that a lot lately.

"No, I cannot, but I am an optimist," her aunt Alice said, flitting into the room. Jasper followed quickly behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind. She sent him a soft smile over her shoulder. "We'll all be fine."

"Well, let's hope you're right, shortie." Jacob stood up, grimly staring out the window at the boat dock. "They're here."

Renesmee's heart thudded in her chest as she struggled not to lose the few spoonfuls she had gulped down. Carlisle had warned them ahead of time that Aro was bringing a few members of the guard, but he hadn't said _his_ name, so Renesmee knew she was fine. For now. Hopefully.

God, she was running off of nothing but hope lately.

The family, sans Edward and Bella, gathered in the living room, staring out the giant window in the front of the house at the otherwise picturesque beach. It wasn't difficult to make out the four figures cloaked in black standing behind Carlisle and Esme as they docked the boat beside the other two. Renesmee couldn't see any faces yet, but she knew he wasn't among them. She knew the size and shape of his body almost better than her own, so it comforted her that she didn't recognize it among their guests.

Edward and Bella appeared at the end of the dock almost out of thin air, though Renesmee knew she hadn't been paying enough attention to notice their arrival. Her father's hair was unkempt, as if he'd spent the last hour raking his fingers through it. The rest of her family subconsciously stepped closer to Renesmee, as a unit, making a small protective half-circle behind her as they watched Aro and the guards greet her parents. Once the boat was tied securely to the dock, Carlisle and Esme quickly joined them, exchanging tense pleasantries before they ushered Aro toward the front door.

Renesmee's heart beat so strongly in her chest she knew that if she looked down, she would be able to see it pounding, yet she couldn't breathe. She held her breath the entire time as she watched them stalk to the door, but she screamed in her head. Why were they walking so slow, taking their time? Didn't they know she was going crazy in her head? Couldn't they just hurry up?

She could feel Jasper trying to work his magic, trying to calm her nerves. He really had been a saint lately; every time she worked herself up, he was right there to soothe the situation. She had never been more grateful for him. But the tension only eased minimally, her nerves wound too tight to be undone now. She felt as if she would spontaneously combust any moment as she grew more and more uncomfortable in her own skin.

What felt like an eternity later, Carlisle opened the front door, holding it as Edward, Bella, and Esme stepped inside, immediately followed by Aro and the three guards. Even before they pulled their hoods off, one name clicked into place for Renesmee - the big one, probably standing at 6'6" or 6'7", had to be Felix. She had never seen a vampire so big. He had left an impression on her, even as a child. Though she had never truly met Felix, she had received two very different impressions of him, from two very different sources. She was curious which he would live up to more. But also, why did they need such a formidable guard if this was a friendly visit?

 _Because, you idiot, they're ready to take you out,_ the tiny voice in Renesmee's head scolded her.

She would have recognized Aro anywhere. He had been the star of every nightmare she had as a child, which had done nothing to ease her anxiety. It had taken her years to get rid of the nightmares, but she had conquered those fears eventually. Until now. Her nightmares had been back with a vengeance lately, but this time it hadn't been her head on the chopping block. It had been her child's.

The other two guards were harder for her to place. The woman had olive skin and perfectly curled black hair, but that was hardly enough to place her. More telling was her body language. She stood very close to Aro, and though she was nearly hidden behind him, she looked ready to jump in front at a moment's notice. This had to be his personal guard, Renesmee realized. Regan? No, no, Renata, wasn't it?

She couldn't even begin to place the other male with what little she had to go on, but she would find out his name eventually if they really were going to be sticking around for a bit.

Renesmee's eyes connected with Aro's, and she realized he hadn't said a single word. He just stood there staring at her, his face a mix of awe and disappointment. She wondered if he was going to say anything at all, but then he shook his head sadly, red eyes closing briefly. He tut-tutted in disapproval. "What a predicament you have found yourself in, Miss Cullen."

She gulped, eyes darting to the floor as she thought of a way to explain herself without digging her own grave. "Aro, I-"

He shushed her softly, extending a pale hand for hers. Renesmee's twitched at her side before she closed it in a fist and tucked it protectively behind her back. Aro slowly retracted the offered hand as the rest of the Cullens looked around uncomfortably. Edward and Bella stared from the sidelines, away from the rest of them, as if they were an objective third-party and not her _freaking parents._ Felix and Renata looked between the two of them in confusion, but Renesmee noticed as she tried to look anywhere but Aro that the third guard just stared at her, face as frozen as stone.

"I'm sorry, it's just…" she trailed off, not even sure where she had been going with that sentence. What was she supposed to say? That it was personal? That was an understatement. That it was a secret? Duh, he already knew that.

Aro sighed, shaking his head. "You did say she was close-lipped, Carlisle. And you, Alice?" He glanced at the petite woman standing just to Renesmee's right. "You saw nothing of this?"

"Renesmee has always been a blindspot in my visions," Alice said, not backing down from Aro's stare. "I was as blindsided as the rest of you."

"Edward?" Aro called, eyes flicking over to Renesmee's very tense father. He looked like he would be physically ill any moment.

Edward's jaw twitched as he stared at Aro coldly. Too much distrust had brewed there to ever be fixable, least of all by some lame treaty. The only reason Edward and Bella had agreed to it in the first place was to keep the rest of their family safe, so they wouldn't have to live in fear. "Bella has been shielding me from Renesmee for the past two months. I'm completely in the dark." Everyone could tell that didn't sit well with him.

Aro sighed heavily, eyes skimming the crowd until he landed on the most out-of-place individual. "And you, Mr. Black? She is your imprint, is she not? This situation is not of your making?"

Jacob rolled his eyes, and Renesmee could practically hear the growl rolling in his chest. "We're not like that, Nosferatu. This is a strictly platonic relationship."

Aro let the dig slide, Jacob's attitude doing nothing to faze him. In fact, he appeared almost...amused. "Yes, it appears that's always how these things work out for you." He cast a sly glance at Edward and Bella and chuckled to himself. Jacob threw Aro a look that should've killed him on site. "In that case… I need a name, Miss Cullen. Surely, you do not want to go through this alone?" He tried to appear sympathetic, but it wasn't fooling anyone.

"She's not alone," Rosalie spoke up from the left of her niece.

"And with all due respect, Aro, I can't give you one," Renesmee refused.

Aro made a face of realization then leaned in and looked around as if they were all alone and not in a crowded room of vampires who could still hear every word. "Did you not get his name?"

Renesmee snapped back as if she had been burned. Is that what he thought of her? What everyone thought of her? She wasn't that type of person. Not that there was anything wrong with one-night stands - though the only one she'd ever had had turned into a "relationship" that had landed her in this very spot today. But if she were to have a one-night stand, she wouldn't just walk out without at least getting a first name. She had some class.

"Of course I got his name."

"Ah, so you're protecting him. How romantic," the tone of his voice made it clear he thought it was anything but. "Though it is probably for the best. Your father would likely start a war to end the existence of whatever reckless soul got you into this mess."

Renesmee could have laughed. If only he knew he was talking about his own guard that way. She said nothing as Aro took a step back - causing Renata to step back as well, almost perfectly in sync. He seemed to be taking in her appearance for the first time since he arrived. The way his eyes raked over her frame made her shudder, and not in a good way. Frankly, it gave her the creeps. It wasn't sexual, persay, just very...thorough.

Someone, perhaps Emmett or Jacob - Renesmee was too appalled to pinpoint who - cleared their throat very pointedly, snapping Aro out of his appraisal. "My, have you grown. I suppose this boy was onto something. He can't be faulted for that much at least."

 _Did he just "boys will be boys" me?_ Renesmee thought, her face doing nothing to conceal her revulsion. She crossed her arms over her chest protectively. "Yeah, it happens."

"And how are you feeling?" Aro asked, eyes growing wider once his mind entered fanatic mode. He had looked at her the same way the first time they met, when he had heard her heartbeat and let out that eerie laugh.

Renesmee cleared her throat, growing even more uncomfortable. Had anyone told the guards _why_ they were here? So far, they had mostly been watching the exchange with the same interest one would an infomercial - that sort of mild fascination combined with complete confusion. "I'm fine. Well, as fine as can be expected."

Aro nodded thoughtfully, but he continued when she didn't. "And the babe?"

That was enough to trip the guards up. _Huh, so they_ didn't _know,_ Renesmee thought to herself as she watched them implode. _At least it didn't get the chance to get around before they left Volterra._

"Babe?" Renata spoke up incredulously from behind Aro. Her red eyes grew wide as she stared at her master like she had never seen him before.

Felix and Demetri stared at each other then they turned to Aro too. "As in babe-ee?" Felix asked, looking as though he would faint if it were possible. Demetri's eyes darted around, not really seeing anything, like he was too lost in thought to bother speaking.

"She's pregnant?" Renata peeked around Aro to stare at Renesmee. Renesmee just sighed, feeling like a microscope slide being stared at way too much for comfort. She had been stared at enough in the past week to be set for eternity, and it was still early days. How bad would it get once she actually looked pregnant? "You're pregnant? Why can't you Cullens just follow the damn rules?"

Aro sighed, scolding Renata softly. Renesmee was quick to jump to her own defense as everyone else just watched. She was beginning to feel claustrophobic, trapped between the two sides. "It's not like I planned this! It just happened."

Demetri's head snapped up suddenly, so fast he would've snapped his own neck if he'd been human. His thoughts had finally caught up. Felix looked at him curiously, though he kept his mouth shut. Demetri simply stared at Renesmee, knowing it was too dangerous to say anything in front of all of these people. She didn't even seem to know he knew anything more than he was supposed to, but oh, he did.

He needed answers soon, Demetri decided. For Alec's sake.

* * *

 **A/N: Okay, this one was a little shorter than the rest, but it'll be fine. Keep a look out for the next chapter - we're getting some Demetri/Renesmee interaction. xx**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Twilight or its characters, y'all**.

 **A/N: Super late update today, but I did get it finished! #Bless Enjoy!**

 **Warning: mention of child dying/tuberculosis, soft-hearted Demetri (is that a warning? lol), a dirty joke if you squint?, idk I might have missed something**

* * *

As the days bled into weeks, the Cullen household and their guests formed a necessary routine. Aro and Carlisle stuck close to each other when the doctor wasn't at work, pouring over all kinds of books to try to find some semblance of answers. It unnerved both of them, the Volturi leader more-so, that they had no idea where this situation would lead. They kept a watchful eye on Renesmee, taking measurements and doing exams frequently. And when the ultrasound machine had finally arrived, well, that had been an...interesting experience, for lack of a better word.

Aro had been absolutely entranced with the machine, watching closely as Carlisle tried to explain how everything worked. But when it came time for the actual examination, Renesmee couldn't share his enthusiasm. She had requested that only Carlisle and her aunt Rose be allowed into the office where they had pushed aside most of Carlisle's things to make room for the machine and the hospital-grade exam bed.

 _Where do you even buy things like this?_ Renesmee wondered. For some reason, she figured it wasn't on Amazon.

Her parents made no objections to not being allowed in the room, barely having said two words to her in weeks. She knew her father - and by extension, her mother, since they were pretty much a package deal - was disappointed in her, but really, weren't they taking this a bit far? It's not like she meant for this to happen, much like they hadn't meant for _her_ to happen, yet here she was.

"Okay," Carlisle said to his "granddaughter" on the bed, smiling lightly at her nervous face. He knew how difficult this had been on her, and it didn't take much for him to empathize with her. Lying there on the exam table, her hand gripping tightly to her aunt's, Carlisle couldn't help but picture her mother there instead, just as terrified twelve years before.

"This might be a little cold," he said apologetically before squirting the ultrasound gel on her exposed stomach. She flinched a little, but she was otherwise fine with it. The worst part for her was being exposed like this in front of her family.

She laughed nervously as the gel hit her stomach and said, "Well, I've felt colder." Carlisle grinned at her quip as Renesmee groaned to herself. _Open mouth, insert foot._ Rosalie just laughed, having heard her niece's thoughts through their connected palms. She smiled at her, squeezing her hand reassuringly.

Carlisle swirled the ultrasound wand around on her stomach, staring intently at the computer, his eyebrows furrowed. After a few minutes of silence, Renesmee started to glance nervously between her aunt and her grandfather, worrying at her bottom lip with her teeth. Carlisle sighed, withdrawing the wand and wiping it off, handing her tissues so she could do the same for her stomach. She grabbed them but otherwise didn't do anything.

"Well?" Renesmee all but demanded as she stared at her now very apologetic-looking grandfather. It didn't look like he had terrible news - that was a face she would recognize - but more like...uncomfortable news.

"I had hoped," Carlisle started, almost like he was talking to himself, before sighing again. "Your skin may be too hard to examine you this way. I can't get a clear view of the inside, so I can't make any new measurements."

 _So that's it? We won't know anything? Wait…_

"You said 'this way.' Is there another way to do it?" Renesmee asked, already fearful of his answer just from the expression on his face.

"We can do a transvaginal ultrasound. I bought both wands, because I was fearful of this very situation," he explained. If Renesmee's face hadn't been burning from her dirty comment earlier, it sure was now. Surely, he couldn't mean…

""Transvaginal?' Like...inside?" She felt nauseous for the third time that day and really worried she might lose what little bit of sustenance she'd gotten during breakfast.

"Yes. Only if you're comfortable with it. There would be a sheet over you for your privacy, and my eyes will never stray from that screen," Carlisle promised her, ever the professional. She could tell he didn't quite like the thought of it either, and that made her feel better, if only minutely. Rosalie gave her an encouraging smile.

Renesmee stared up at her aunt with a new idea, one that hopefully wouldn't leave her blushing until the end of next week. "Can...can Aunt Rose do it? I'd just feel more comfortable since we have the same...parts."

Rosalie laughed, looking at Carlisle who quickly agreed, finding a sheet for Renesmee to cover herself with and leaving the room for her to hastily undress. Carlisle reentered once they gave him the all-clear. He stood by the machine as Rosalie took his office chair and sat at the foot of the exam bed, gently pulling Renesmee's feet into the stirrups.

Nothing could have prepared her for the weird feeling of the ultrasound wand entering where the sun doesn't shine. She took a deep breath, desperately trying to relax, but that's easier said than done when her aunt was shoving a cold tool up her lady bits.

"Ah, there it is," Carlisle said pleasantly. "Now let's take some measurements." He gave a small smile to his granddaughter before he began the incessant clicking on the keyboard as he measured every little piece of the growing fetus. Every now and then, he would give Rosalie instructions to move it this way or that, but overall, it was very quiet in the room - if Renesmee could ignore the sound of her racing heart.

"Well," the doctor said after five minutes of measuring. "It appears the baby is measuring at around the eight week mark. You said the last time you had sex…"

"May twenty-sixth," she answered immediately. Was it weird that she remembered the exact date three months later? She didn't want to dwell on that too long, especially since she was still in this awkward situation.

"Right so that was," Carlisle did the calculations quickly in his head, "thirteen weeks ago, but you're only measuring at eight. Coupled with your last menstrual cycle starting on April third, you could be anywhere from thirteen to twenty weeks, truly. And that means you're measuring five weeks behind, at the very least."

Renesmee felt like her brain was about to explode from math overload. Carlisle kept talking, trying to figure out an approximate due date, but it was a little difficult when this was a one-in-a-trillion situation. Renesmee couldn't hear anything he said as her mind ran around in circles. It was still hard for her to grasp that she was pregnant, and now he was telling she had possibly been pregnant for the last _twenty weeks_?

"Ness?" Rosalie's concerned voice snapped her out of her thoughts. She looked up, unaware she had actually been staring off into space for the better half of the last five minutes. "Did you want to see?"

"See?" Her eyes widened. She didn't know why she was so shocked. Carlisle had been looking at the baby this whole time, but the fact that she could? She could just look at the computer screen and see that tiny thing growing in her belly…

Carlisle smiled warmly at her, turning the screen around so they could both see the fetus. _There it is,_ she marveled. There, in the middle of all the black and white, was a tiny white blob. Carlisle started to point out different structures that had begun developing, but she wasn't listening. How could she? There was a tiny blob in her stomach. _Their_ tiny blob.

"It looks like a peanut," Renesmee whispered, mainly to herself, but it didn't go unnoticed by the two vampires in the room. They both laughed, agreeing with her assessment.

"Yes, it does," Carlisle grinned before continuing whatever she had interrupted. "Even in human pregnancies, this is sometimes too early to hear a heartbeat, so there's no need to be alarmed."

"I'm sure one of us will pick up a heartbeat before this machine will anyway," Rosalie joked, unable to contain the smile on her face. _Good,_ Renesmee thought. _Let her smile for the both of us, because I think I'm going into shock._

The pregnancy had never seemed more real than in that moment. She was actually seeing the little child in her stomach for the first time. There went her daydreams of waking up one day and this all being a joke. This was actually happening. She was having a baby.

* * *

Two hours later, and Renesmee still couldn't stop staring at the little picture in her hand. Her name was printed on the top, and right underneath it was the little peanut. She liked Peanut, it seemed like a good nickname.

When she had gotten done in the exam room, Alice had all but snatched the ultrasound print out of her hand, face softening intensely as she gazed at the tiny blob. It quickly got passed around to all of the family members. Esme gave her a large smile and a kiss on the head. Emmett joked that it looked kind of like a dinosaur, to which Rosalie slapped him on the shoulder. Jacob looked at it for a second with a bittersweet smile on his face before he pulled her into one of his comforting bear hugs.

She would've stayed wrapped in his hug too, needing the comfort of an old friend now that her life was changing for good, if the picture hadn't ended up in Aro's hands. Renesmee pulled away as she chewed on her lip, staring at Aro. His creepy red eyes stared at the paper, transfixed, as if it would soon start moving.

"Fascinating," Aro said, finally looking up from the picture. "That machine took a photograph of the child while it is still in your body… My, how science has evolved."

She hesitantly took the picture back when he offered it, making sure their skin didn't touch. It wouldn't be the first time in the past couple weeks that Aro had tried to trick her into touching him.

After that, she had found an empty seat at the kitchen island and resumed staring at the picture of little Peanut. Renesmee declined all of Esme's offers to make lunch, content to just sit there in silence and listen to the world move around her.

She could hear her parents' hushed whispers from rooms away, though she couldn't make out what they were saying. She could hear Aro and Carlisle, back in the study, flipping through books once again. The boys - Emmett, Jacob, Jasper, plus Demetri and Felix - were in the living room, watching a movie and debating which Avenger truly was the strongest. Renata sat close to Alice - far enough away to seem comfortable but not too far to seem adversarial - flipping through magazines. She had been the quietest of the guards, never really saying much to anyone but Aro. Renesmee did notice that the woman tried to stay as far away from Demetri as she could.

At a quarter to eleven, Alice popped up out of her seat, flitting across the room to reach her niece. "Get ready, we're going to the mall."

Renesmee groaned, dropping her head to rest on the cool marble countertop. Rosalie rushed out of her bedroom, stopping Alice in the hallway. "We can take my car. I need to get some things for a new video."

Instagram had become Rosalie's obsession lately. She was quite a good makeup artist, and she had a nice following going. She was careful not to show her face, ever, and instead opted for just her lips or only one eye. It gave her a new hobby to focus on - and something new to spend money on.

"May I go as well?" A deep voice interjected. All three women looked towards the living room as Demetri leaned over the back of the couch, pausing the conversation he had been having with the other men. Rosalie and Alice exchanged looks, but neither of them protested though it was clear they weren't entirely comfortable. They probably assumed he just wanted to get a _bite_ to eat.

After Demetri cleared it with Aro - and swapped out his cloak for a hoodie of the same color - and the two vampire women got ready, the four of them left the island, all secretly relieved to be out of the overcrowded house. Alice had been going stir-crazy to go shopping for the past week, and the newly overcast sky gave them the perfect opportunity to go to the mainland without being spotted.

The boat ride from the island was quiet, almost uncomfortably so, as was the trip in the car to the nearest shopping mall. The parking lot was packed despite the fact that it looked like it would start storming any minute. Rosalie slipped into a parking spot, hastily putting up the hood of her gaudy convertible, and slipped Renesmee a spare key. She knew her niece better than almost anyone, and she knew Renesmee often got tired of waiting for her aunts to stop shopping - sometimes they would take hours in a single store. Alice pulled a contact lens case out of her pocket, handing it to Demetri, who looked at it with disgust, but he popped them in anyway.

They all split up once they got inside, her aunts getting lost in the crowd and Renesmee rushing off before she could see where Demetri went. She was surprised he had even followed them into the mall at all, but then, it hadn't been too long since the guards had fed so he probably wasn't thirsty just yet.

She dashed to the left, hands tucked into the pockets of her jacket as she glanced around at the store windows. She didn't particularly feel like shopping today, her stomach still doing cartwheels for the most part. But she came up short when she spotted the pastel blues and pinks of one of the storefronts to her left.

 _Now or never,_ Renesmee thought drily as she entered the baby store. There were so many bright colors she didn't know where to look. She started at the first rack, which held a few rows of pink and purple dresses all hideously decorated with butterflies or unicorns.

"So are you ever going to tell him?" Demetri's voice piped up from behind her, and Renesmee jumped, knocking the clothes off the rack. He bent down, swiftly picking up the small outfits and placing them back where they belonged. He looked at them skeptically, plucking at the small bows on the sleeves. "Would anyone actually make their child wear this? It's atrocious."

"Tell who?" Renesmee asked, trying to seem innocent while her heart beat its way out of her chest. She knew he could hear it too, and even if he couldn't, she doubted she would have fooled him based on the way he looked at her.

"Renesmee," he leaned in conspiratorially. " _I know_."

The lump in her throat grew bigger as she cast a glance over her shoulder, worried one of her aunts might come waltzing in at any moment. "How? Did he tell you?"

Demetri scoffed, shaking his head while he continued thumbing through the baby clothes. If the look on his face was any indication, he was not impressed by what this century had to offer in way of children's fashion. "He didn't have to. You weren't discreet enough to keep it off my radar. I think sometimes people forget I'm not just a pretty face." He frowned at her jokingly, and she rolled her eyes.

"Who else knows?"

"You, him, me. I didn't tell a soul. Not that I could, nobody I know has one." Renesmee couldn't help but grin at his quip, which made Demetri smirk. He'd gotten a reaction out of her, just as he had planned. There was hope yet. "I'm not in the habit of spilling secrets that aren't mine to tell. I usually leave that up to Felix, that giant moron." That one got an actual laugh in response.

They continued browsing the store for the next twenty minutes or so, neither of them saying much to the other unless they were critiquing the clothes. They were enjoying the new camaraderie between them. Renesmee felt a small weight lift off of her shoulders once she realized that Demetri had known for some time, and yet he hadn't told anyone. It felt good to have one person in her life that she didn't have to lie to, like maybe she would have at least one ally if word got out.

Neither of them were oblivious to the looks they received as they wandered the store. A few of the married couples looking through the clothing would cast them glances as Renesmee and Demetri kept searching. They were looks of disdain since they were obviously not married or perhaps because she was so young, but a few times it was more than that. They couldn't miss the way one older couple, perhaps in their late thirties, would look at them and then gaze lovingly back at each other as if to say "remember when we were like that?" But Renesmee would simply roll her eyes at Demetri and he would chuckle, both of them amused at how drastically everyone misunderstood their situation. It could never be like that between them, for a vast number of reasons.

They left the store right after noon, a small bag clutched in Renesmee's hand that held the only thing in the store Demetri thought seemed fit - a simple pair of black baby shoes that looked a bit like Vans. She had to admit that they were cute, and they would work for both sexes. Demetri had a good eye for this type of thing, it turned out.

The two of them walked leisurely, side-by-side, in comfortable silence. Renesmee glanced over her shoulder every now and then to search for either Rosalie or Alice, but she didn't see either of them. "Alice is over that way, in the big department store," Demetri nodded his head to the left. "Rosalie is on the second floor."

She smirked, swinging the bag by her side lightly as she walked. "That's a neat trick." She groaned as they got closer to the exit; the clouds that had been overhead when they entered the mall now very clearly had turned into a downpour. Renesmee quickly shoved the little bag inside her coat, not wanting to get it wet, and zipped up. Demetri pulled the hood of his jacket over his head with grace - after all, it wasn't much different than his cloak, and he had perfected that finer art centuries ago.

Renesmee's left hand held tightly to the bag under her jacket as her right found the spare key, and they set off into the rain quickly, but not fast enough to arouse suspicion. She hit the unlock button as they got closer, and both of them slipped into the backseat of Rosalie's BMW as fast as they could, slamming the doors shut to lock out the rain.

She unzipped her jacket, pulling the little bag out again and balancing it on her legs. "They really are cute, Demetri, thank you." He hummed a little in agreement, just staring out of the window as the rain tracked down. It fell heavily against the soft top of the car, calming Renesmee enough to almost put her to sleep.

She had just laid her head back against the headrest when Demetri spoke, "I had a daughter once." Renesmee's head lifted slowly as she stared at him in confusion. He still didn't look back at her. "When I was human. I can't remember what she looked like, but I remember thinking she was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. Her mother, my wife, died in childbirth, leaving the two of us alone, but we got better. And we were happy. For a time."

Demetri turned away from the window, and Renesmee stared at him like she had never seen him before. Perhaps she hadn't, not really. It never ceased to amaze her how beautiful people could be if they really let you in. She had seen it with _him_ , and now she was seeing it with Demetri.

The brown contacts Demetri had put in earlier were slowly being eaten away by the venom in his eyes, giving way to that crimson red. It struck her how they were theoretically the same color as every other human-blood-drinking vampire on the planet, but she had just now noticed how different they were than the eyes of the one she had fallen for months ago. There was something different about the way they set in _his_ face, the way they looked in the dark, the way they contrasted with his skin and his hair. Just another reason to think he would be different, she supposed, when in reality he was just more of the same.

The shadow of the rain racing down the window reflected across Demetri's pale face - almost like tears - as he sat back, his legs stretching out in front of him. He appeared to be lost in his own mind. Renesmee knew the feeling all too well lately. "Before the end of her first decade on this earth, she fell ill. It started slowly, coughing here and there, fatigue. She stopped eating as much, so she kept getting more and more frail. I didn't know how to help her. I talked to every physician I could, but nothing worked."

His fists clenched and unclenched as he kept talking, but Renesmee never said a word. She thought she could diagnose his daughter easily; the symptoms made it pretty obvious - tuberculosis. "She kept getting worse. And then, one day, a physician's assistant brought word of a new treatment they had heard of, but it was a long journey to find it, and they had other people to tend to. I didn't want to leave her, but then blood began to come up when she coughed. She was in so much pain. So I went. I kissed her on the forehead and promised her I would be back." Demetri shook his head, a bitter scoff escaping his throat.

Renesmee's stomach twisted in knots as she hoped this story would have a better ending than the one she knew was coming. A thought struck her as she looked at him sympathetically. "That's why you're a tracker? Because you were looking for a cure when you…" She didn't want to say it, but she didn't have to.

He nodded. "I took a ship across the Mediterranean to look for the 'miracle cure,' but I never found it. Amun found me instead. He was impressed with my skills, so he turned me. He tried to help me develop my ability, he knew how powerful I would become. And I agreed to let him help, if he would just...let me go back to my daughter."

Renesmee's mind reeled for many reasons. Amun had created Demetri? The same Amun who had reluctantly followed Benjamin and Tia to witness for her family all those years ago? She never knew how deep the history ran in other covens. Sure, she knew her coven's history, a little of the Denali's, and _his_ , but she had never been told anyone else's. How much had she been missing this whole time? There was so much she had never considered, and it made her brain hurt just thinking about it. But one thing plagued her even more than Demetri's 'parentage,' if you could call it that.

"You went back? Didn't you know how dangerous that was?" She questioned. The worry about the ending of this story rose again, but for a different reason entirely now. Was there gonna be a drastic turn to this story she hadn't considered before? _Did Demetri_ kill _his own daughter?_

He nodded, face grim. "I didn't care. I just kept thinking, 'I was looking for a cure, for anything that would help keep my daughter with me, and I had found one. One had found me.' I could finally help her… But it didn't matter. By the time I had gotten home to her, it was too late. She was gone."

Renesmee's heart broke, and her hand found its way to her flat stomach almost involuntarily. She couldn't even imagine… She wondered now if it would've been a better story if Demetri had been able to do what he had been planning. Surely, the Volturi wouldn't have been happy to hear of Demetri's immortal child, but then, what was the cut-off age that determined if a vampire was an immortal child or just a child that happened to be immortal?

Then she couldn't help but wonder how much different if would be if he had turned her - and been executed because of it. How different would the Volturi be without Demetri? It was hard for her to think about, because she kept thinking about her own coven but without one of their crucial members. What would her family be like without Emmett or Alice or Esme? It was unthinkable.

"Centuries and centuries passed, so slowly at first as I came to grips with everything - my power, my immortality, my new position with the Volturi, the loss of my daughter...my Daria." The way he said her name made it sound like a prayer, one that you say when you've lost all hope. She wondered when was the last time he had said the name aloud. "But then that clearing, that confrontation in Forks…"

Renesmee gulped, picking at her thumbnail with her index finger, unable to look at him any longer. There were times when all of those thoughts faded away, when they were so far away from her mind that she forgot at one point she had been on death row. And then there were times like these, the memories so fresh in her mind it was like they happened yesterday.

"I saw you standing there, and I couldn't believe it. Bella and Edward and a little girl with their split likeness. 'Surely,' I thought, 'they haven't found a way to get everything they ever could have wanted. Life isn't that fair.' But then all those pieces started to click together one-by-one. I still had a job to do, but I knew deep down I would never be able to forget the things that happened in that clearing, no matter the outcome.

"Your presence, and the other hybrids', here on this earth mocks me. It's a miracle, true, but it tears me up inside. Just to think," Demetri shook his head, staring off into space again, "I could have it all. I could have my daughter back. Not the same, and not the way I left her, but back, in one way or another. Except this one would never get sick, and she would never have to die and leave me alone again."

It scared her, his thought process, but at the same time, she could understand him. And maybe that was scarier than anything.

"But I couldn't do it," he explained bitterly. "One woman, one I had loved deeply and desperately, had already died giving birth to my child. And I would not, _I will not_ , do that to someone else, whether I love them or not."

As if her hand had a mind of its own, Renesmee suddenly reached over in the small space between them, squeezing his arm tightly once before dropping her hand again. She gave him the smallest of smiles, and he simply nodded back at her, the distraught look in his eyes never fading.

"Thank you for telling me all of this, Demetri. But...why did you?" She didn't want him to think she wasn't sorry for his loss, or interested in his story, because it truly was one of the saddest things she had ever heard. It was definitely in the top 5, rivaled only by some of her family and _his._

"Because I wanted you to know, Renesmee, that while I am here to do a job, protecting my coven and all of those around the world, I do have a heart. And I do support your choice. This child is a miracle, one that you should protect with your life," Demetri explained. "And I think that, when the time comes, you should tell him the truth. He has had a life harder than most, and he deserves any chance at happiness, at a family, that he can get. Not all of us get so lucky."

Renesmee sat back, numbness setting in her bones. She should've known Demetri wasn't sharing just to be nice. Everyone wanted something from her nowadays, whether it be for her to change her mind or give them answers, so why would he be any different? He was looking out for one of the few people he still cared for in this world, and she couldn't fault him on that, but she didn't have to like it.

Renesmee shut him out after that, retreating back into her mind as she had been pretty much every day since she'd been home. Over two hours later, she was still so lost in her mind that she almost didn't notice Alice and Rosalie loading the trunk down with shopping bags or hopping in the car and trying to ask her how her shopping spree was. She completely missed the look Rosalie exchanged with Alice or the questioning look Alice shot Demetri in the rearview mirror or the fake disinterested one he gave back.

Renesmee was quiet the rest of the way back to the private docks, quiet getting out of the car and helping them load everything into the boat, quiet on the ride back to the island. She was so quiet it made the rest of them tense, but she couldn't help it. She was focused on one thing at the moment: how familiar the look on Demetri's face had been when he had been telling her his story.

 _His_ had looked the exact same the day he shared his.

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 **A/N: So...who's ready for a flashback scene? ;)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: Aye, I still don't own Twilight or its characters. Soz.**

 **A/N: Happy Halloween! Here's that flashback chapter I promised. If Alec seems "out of character" (even though we don't really know jack about his character in canon - curse you, Smeyer) just remember, they've had nearly FOUR MONTHS to get to know each other by now. In case you guys need a timeline, they met some time Nov 2017, this chapter is March 2018 so they've been seeing each other every few weeks for _months._ And then when we get back to the story, it's the end of August 2018. So... now you know.**

 **Warning: y'all, it's Alec's human life - it definitely wasn't rainbows and unicorns, so... language, mentions of sex, prostitution, witchcraft, sexual harassment, fighting, executions, and clowns (? in case any of you are scared of those)**

* * *

 _ **Five Months Ago…**_

"What are you thinking about?" Renesmee asked, rolling over on her side to face him, the flimsy white sheet caressing her bare skin.

He looked the picture of serenity - he usually did, unless something was severely irritating him that day. He had one arm folded over his naked stomach, the other crooked behind his head, careful not to accidentally elbow her. His usually vibrant crimson eyes were closed, and his face appeared relatively blank, but Renesmee had learned over their months together that that was just his thinking face. She traced idle shapes across his pale chest as she waited for his answer.

Alec sighed, though it sounded more content than heavy, his beautiful eyes finally opening to stare back at her. He always liked her best like this: no makeup, hair messed up from rolling around in the sheets all day, bare skin pressed against his - even if it was just the feather-light touch of her warm fingertips. Her eyes were curious, not judgemental. Not scared like so many others of their kind. It had taken them a while to get to this level of openness, to give into not just their lust but the feelings that followed. Feelings he hadn't felt...ever, if he was honest.

"Jane," he answered truthfully.

Renesmee leaned up on her elbow, eyebrows raised. He rolled his eyes good-naturedly before she even had a chance to speak. "Should I be worried you're thinking about your sister after we just got done having sex?"

"At least I wasn't thinking about her during sex," Alec replied smoothly, his lips quirking into a now all-too-familiar grin. He had grinned more with this girl than he had in the twelve-hundred-plus years without her. Renesmee looked at him, unamused, though he could see the laughter in her eyes.

Renesmee sighed, turning over on her stomach, the bedsheet pooling against her lower back. Alec had to remind himself not to stare at her physique too long or they would be right back where they were five minutes ago, and while he personally could go again right now, Renesmee usually took a little longer to recuperate. "Why are you thinking about Jane?"

Alec's head turned, staring at the ceiling. "I was just thinking about how she would handle," he waved his free hand around the room dismissively, "all of this."

Renesmee snorted. "She'd probably throw me in an active volcano, or toss me into a pit of rabid vipers." Her eyebrows furrowed as she stared at him. "I thought we weren't telling anyone? Why are you worried what your sister would think?"

"We're not," he replied, though he felt a strange twisting in his gut that he couldn't place. He tried his best to ignore the inkling that came every time they voiced their...arrangement out loud.

"Then why does it matter?" She asked quietly. She, for one, hated thinking about what their families would think of them, which is why she never did it. It hurt too much to imagine the pain on her family's faces or the disgust on the Volturi's. To them, she was nothing but a half-breed, an unnatural creature; to her family, he was nothing but a weapon of Aro's, someone to be feared above all else, incapable of remorse or love or any other emotion really. What a match they made.

Alec sighed again, this time annoyed at both her and himself. "It doesn't, Ren. I was just thinking." The change in his tone was evident.

"Hey," she said softly, sitting up as the sheet fell around her waist. She didn't miss the slight flick of his eyes to her chest, but she ignored it. He was, first and foremost, a heterosexual man, so she didn't expect any less. She leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. "I'm sorry, okay? You know I just don't like thinking about it…"

He sighed and closed his eyes, mentally reproaching himself for bringing it up. He did understand how much she worried. Hell, he worried too, but his worry was more for her than himself. He knew firsthand how cruel his coven could be sometimes, and he never wanted to bring any of that cruelty into her life. She was the sun, and he'd be damned - more than he already was - if he would let anyone eclipse her light.

"I know, don't apologize. I'm the one that should be sorry. Come here," he opened his arms, pulling her down as she changed positions, cuddling her into his side. She hummed contently as she snuggled into his familiar embrace. The sheet barely covered anything of the two of them now, but there was no room in their bed for insecurities. "She wouldn't have always done that, you know? She would have been happy for me, once."

"A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away," she joked, then she wriggled as he tickled her side, one of her only weaknesses. She giggled, and though he would never admit it, it was like music to his ears. "Sorry. Would she really?"

"She wasn't always like she is now. When we were human…" he took a shuddering breath as Renesmee wrapped his arm around her tighter, gently caressing it. As a general rule, Alec never spoke of his past life, and Renesmee never asked. But she wasn't about to stop him if he felt like he wanted to get this off his chest. "She was a completely different person. She laughed, smiled, cried. I could always tell what was in her heart and mind. She was an open book, though it might not have always been a good thing. But she seemed happy, when we were younger at least."

Renesmee turned over on her side so she could look at him more directly. There was a look in his eyes, an uncertainty, like he wasn't sure he should say anything. She gave him a small smile, and something about the way she looked at him made him want to keep going. In that moment, he knew he could tell her anything, but part of him still wondered if she would look at him differently afterward.

 _Only one way to find out._

"You know I'm...old, right?" Alec asked her hesitantly. She nodded. "But do you know how old?"

"Way older than all of my family combined," she said lightly, pressing a quick kiss to his chest. "It doesn't scare me, Alec. Age really is just a number where our kind is concerned."

"Jane and I were born before the start of the ninth century. I don't know an exact year; some things get hazy over time, and even then, we didn't mark the days like you do now," he explained. "Our father was a Frankish soldier, and our mother… Our mother was an Anglo-Saxon woman. A prostitute, actually."

Renesmee's eyebrows furrowed, but she kept quiet. "It wasn't a rare thing for companies of men to seek...satisfaction in the arms of working girls. The only reason we even knew who our father was was because he became enamored with her, or so she liked to claim. He took up all of her time, not giving her space to 'service' anyone else. But he didn't stay, and when my mother found out she was pregnant, the madam wanted her to...get rid of the child. But my mother refused."

He paused briefly, his expression flickering with something akin to pain. "She had grown quite attached to my father during her time with him, so she put an end to the whoring and moved in with a…'spinster,' I guess you would say, my great-aunt." She didn't break to tell him that no one had said the word 'spinster' in a thousand years, but it made her smile for a moment.

Alec paused again, clenching his jaw as he considered his next words. Renesmee could tell the story was getting harder for him to tell, but she also knew Alec, for whatever reason, felt the need to share this with her. So she wouldn't interrupt. "Jane was born minutes before me, and when my great-aunt and the townspeople heard the news that my mother had given birth to twins, they were outraged. They demanded one of us be killed. We were considered bad luck, evil in every way. The devil's children."

 _Obviously, it didn't happen, but what if it had?_ Renesmee couldn't help but wonder. The twins had dangerous reputations, no one could deny that, but it seemed unthinkable that one be without the other. They were a package deal. Jane _and_ Alec.

She wouldn't lie to herself; she knew her concern had nothing to do with the female half of the duo and everything to do with the boy by her side. As bad as his reputation was, and as many terrible things as he had done, she couldn't imagine a world where he didn't exist, where she never got to meet him or kiss him or be held in his arms. Renesmee gazed at him lovingly, committing his every detail to memory. She now considered herself luckier than ever that she was able to be this close to him, when - any way she looked at it - he should have been dead long ago.

Alec's stoic expression broke for a moment as he grinned, having heard her every thought through the intimate touch of their bare skin. He pressed a soft kiss to her warm forehead before he continued. "Obviously, she refused. And over time, the town became less angry at our existence, but they were still wary. Parents warned their children to stay clear of us. We would catch men watching us sometimes, in town or when we went out to the woods to pick berries and such. We weren't fools; Mother raised us to be cautious, and we were.

"But some things were out of our control. As we got older, people began to talk. There were rumors around our village. They began to suspect…" He gritted his teeth so hard, Renesmee was scared he might crack his jaw. "They said anyone kind to us received good fortune, while anyone cruel to us suffered. I never put much stock in it, but Jane thought maybe if they really believed that, they would start being kinder to us."

Renesmee could hear the _'it didn't work'_ lurking in the shadow of his words.

"Then, when we were maybe ten or eleven, our father's company strolled back into town. But he wasn't with them. He was dead. Mother got down, stopped taking care of us like she should have, but Jane and I took care of each other. We did what we had to do. Eventually, Mother started back with the prostitution. She could barely look at us any more without seeing his face.

"Jane and I stayed in the house with our great-aunt while our mother did God-knows-what with God-knows-who. And time went on. By the time we were eighteen, Jane and I were still friendless, unwed, unwanted by anyone but each other really." A selfish kind of relief filled Renesmee as she cherished the fact that Alec had never been married in his past life, no matter how silly that feeling might have been. Obviously, he didn't have a mate now, and that was all that mattered. But she was glad she didn't have to compete with some ghost of a dead wife from over a thousand years ago.

Alec scoffed to himself as he sent a disbelieving look at the creature lying at his side. She blushed and hid her face in his chest. Competition? That's what she was thinking about all of this? As if anyone could compete with her anyway. No mere mortal from his past could have ever held a candle to the little hybrid in his arms.

"Get those foolish notions out of your head, Ren," he whispered, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear. She laughed softly, nodding. She motioned for him to continue, and his face went blank again, though a fire flickered in his eyes. "A couple of weeks before we were...changed, I caught a boy trying to… Well, the specifics don't matter. In all of my existence, I have never been angrier than I was that day as I pulled that son of a bitch off of Jane. I saw red, and I just let it all go. I beat him within an inch of his life. I would have killed him if Jane hadn't stopped me. Looking back, I probably should have."

 _Jane_ stopped _Alec from killing someone? Wow, do people change._ Renesmee thought, then she grimaced, sending Alec another quick message. _Sorry, I'm not trying to interrupt._ His arm just tightened around her, showing her he understood.

"They might have been scared of us, but being the daughter of a whore, some boys thought they could still mess with Jane. And that one was braver than most. A week later, a mob came to our house. We were snatched out of our beds in the middle of the night, no idea what was going on. People sounded angry, but we were used to that. I kept looking around for Jane, but they had grabbed her before me and I couldn't see her through the bodies.

"When they took us to the church, I finally saw her. I grabbed her, wrapped her in my arms as she wept. One by one, people came up and testified against us. They made awful, slanderous accusations. They said instead of picking berries in the woods, Jane and I made sacrifices. That we communed with the devil. Every person in that village that ever had a problem with us took the stand, whether it was founded or, more often, not. And then that boy, that sick pervert made his own accusations against us, and I knew we were finished.

"I had already known what the outcome would be before we even stepped foot outside. I had seen it happen a dozen times before, but that didn't make it any less real. I struggled, I tried the entire time to get to Jane as they tied us to the stakes. And then when they lit the wood under us… the pain was excruciating, but all I could focus on was Jane. I had to get to her. It didn't matter what happened to me as long as she was safe.

"But it was over almost as soon as it began. And when I was pulled from the stake, and the venom of Aro's bite began coursing through my veins… It was a relief compared to everything else, every other pain I had ever faced. Sure, it hurt, but no worse than my mother leaving or having to watch Jane burn before my eyes."

Silent tears tracked down Renesmee's face as she thought of all of the atrocities this man before her had had to face at the hands of the hateful and the ignorant. She even felt for his sister, as hard as it was to grasp. And perhaps the cruelest thing of all, she realized, was that they had to be reborn into another life where they were practically indestructible, able to survive any injury...if it wasn't for fire.

Alec sucked in a deep breath, not saying a word as he listened to her thoughts, and used his thumb to wipe the tears from her face. How this girl, this little hybrid, could so easily grasp the one thing he had never explained to another being was beyond him. In that moment, she understood him perfectly.

"To this day," he admitted softly, staring into her watery eyes, "I am terrified of fire."

She wiped her face quickly, trying to get rid of the tears he didn't catch and the sticky feeling they left on her skin. "I'm scared of clowns." She was completely serious, but he grinned anyway. They both knew she was trying to cheer him up, but it was working. He had a hard time trying to keep a straight face around her, no matter how he had perfected it over the centuries. Something about her brought his walls crumbling down around him despite how hard he had worked to put them up.

"Why are you scared of clowns? Did one kill you in a past life?" He didn't say it bitterly, not wanting to ruin the mood. He in no way wanted to go back to reliving his past, content to let it stay behind him forever. He was perfectly happy to let her change the subject.

"No, the pack made me watch _It_ when I was younger. I think it scarred me for life. I can't even look at Ronald McDonald without running away." At his confused look, she quickly explained the plot of the movie and then who Ronald McDonald was. She had gotten used to explaining pop culture to him over the past few months. He never quite understood references if they occurred within the past eighty years. He just laughed at her, and she pouted.

"It was really scary," she whined, but her heart wasn't in it. Just to hear him laugh after such a traumatic story was like a weight lifted off of her shoulders. To even be capable of such after experiencing that kind of life… it just reiterated that he was one of the strongest people she had ever met. "Thank you for telling me that, Alec. I promise I won't share it with anyone."

He knew without a doubt that she was telling the truth. Renesmee was nothing if not trustworthy. "And thank you. For looking at me the same way now as you did thirty minutes ago."

"What do you mean?" She puzzled. Why would she look at him differently after all that?

"I was worried…" he sighed. When was the last time he had shared so many intimate emotions in such a short time? Centuries ago? "That you would think of me differently if you knew, that you would pity me, or fear me. There are a lot of emotions I can handle from you, Ren, but not those."

"Alec," she kissed his lips gently, "I haven't been afraid of you in a long time. You're far too soft now."

Alec groaned. "Don't say such a thing, I have a reputation to uphold."

"Ah, yes. Alec of the Volturi, world's most dangerous _cuddle monster,_ " she whispered the last two words as menacing as possible and laughed when he glared at her, burying her face in the crook of his neck.

"I'll numb your ass, Ren, don't think I won't," he threatened, eyes flashing dangerously. He knew she couldn't resist when he looked at her like that. It's what had initially drawn her in.

He heard her swallow as she leaned into him temptingly. The feeling of their bare chests brushing against each other set their nerves on fire, the cold mixing deliciously with the warmth. She bit his ear lobe and whispered, "No you won't. You like my ass too much for that."

Alec gave it a playful squeeze, smirking as her eyes darkened. She slung one leg over his waist, quickly moving to straddle him. "You're right, I do. And I can think of plenty more fun things to do to it right now."

He captured her lips in a searing kiss, talks of the past long forgotten. After all, why worry about the past when you can focus on the present? And presently, he had some things he desperately wanted to do to the beautiful girl on his lap.

* * *

 **A/N: Alright, there it is. It's so much fun to write them _together._ I've been tossing around the idea of a prequel, but I don't know yet, let's get through this story first! Hope you enjoyed the escape, because we're back to the present in the next chapter! **

**Side note #1: I explained to one of my reviewers in a PM that some headcanons (i.e. Demetri's daughter, Alec and Jane's parentage, the Cullens' love of Marvel movies, etc.) will be making their way into this story and any others I write, just in case you guys were wondering where my "facts" come from.**

 **Side note #2: I wanna get a dialogue going with you guys! Drop your reviews - tell me what you liked, what you didn't, what you hope to see in coming chapters, etc. I don't bite! Reviews mean the world to me, even if it's like two sentences.**

 **ALSO, I wanna get to know my audience, so I might start dropping questions here and there. Here's the first: _what other fandoms are you in? Drop them all, I wanna know, even if it's a fandom of like twenty people._**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or its characters, my dudes.**

 **A/N: Y'all, I just... I'm sorry lol You're gonna end up killing me before this story is over.**

 **Warning: It's a shit-show of ship mentions in this chapter. In no particular order: Renata/Demetri, Heidi/Demetri, Renesmee/Demetri, Seth/Renesmee, Jacob/Renesmee… and language**

* * *

"How the _hell_ are you eating that?" Felix asked with a face of abject horror. He stared at Renesmee from the living area as she bit into her burger, blood dripping off of the bun instead of ketchup. It took restraint to control her vocal cords so she didn't accidentally moan with the relief the blood gave to her burning throat.

She swallowed and licked her lips. "Peanut wanted blood, but I wanted a cheeseburger, hence…" Renesmee had been doing that a lot lately, mixing blood with her food to satisfy the baby's needs and her own personal cravings. Pretty much everyone found it disgusting, but then they always thought her taste in human food was gross.

As crazy, accidental inhuman pregnancies go, Renesmee had lucked out so far. She wasn't in near as much danger as Bella had been, and it had been relatively easy to get back to normal life - or what passed for normal in her family.

Aro and Carlisle still kept close tabs on her, but she was free to do as she pleased between examinations. She was actually on comfortable terms with Demetri now that they understood each other a little better, and with her newfound friendship with him, came a pleasant relationship with Felix too. She wasn't sure her family approved - especially her parents, though they hadn't really talked much to her lately - but she didn't let that deter her. Renesmee had yet to say more than three words to Renata, though, as the female guard usually preferred to stay to herself and as far away from Demetri as possible it would seem.

Demetri and Renesmee never said _his_ name out loud, but she no longer felt the crushing weight of her secret on her shoulders. It almost made it bearable now that there was someone in her life she didn't have to lie to. Someone she knew could apparently keep a secret very well.

Renesmee had just finished scarfing down her bloody burger when someone snuck up behind her, covering her eyes with their hands and cutting off her eyesight to the rest of the world. She could smell the undeniable scent of wolf and desperately tried to keep the smile off her face. "Guess who."

She spun around in her chair faster than she thought possible, nearly tackling the young wolf off of his feet. Seth caught her easily enough, hugging her back tightly for a few seconds before they let go. "I wondered when you'd come back around here again."

"Yeah, it's been tough at home," Seth replied, casually glancing around the room, smiling brightly at the glances he received from the Volturi guards. They didn't look away, but Seth wasn't one to shrink back either."Though I can't imagine it's been better around here. Jacob filled me in. You look great, Ness."

 _So that answers that,_ Renesmee thought. Of course Jacob had told Seth what was going on. But she couldn't be bitter about that; at least he had saved her the hassle of explaining herself. "Yeah, until I balloon to the size of a house," she joked.

Seth tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, giving her a soft smile. He missed the look Demetri gave him at the completely platonic gesture, but Renesmee didn't. "You'll always look good, Ness."

"Seth," Jacob greeted him from the hallway, hands shoved deep in his pockets. He didn't move past the archway as he watched the two of them. "Do you have it?"

"Yeah," he answered simply, picking up his discarded duffle bag and walking to meet Jacob. He started to unzip the bag, but Jacob cast a quick glance at Renesmee and looked away, shaking his head at Seth before asking him to follow him to his room. Renesmee furrowed her brows before shrugging it off, moving across the room to sit next to Demetri on the couch.

Felix grabbed the remote, muting Iron Man 2 as Demetri draped one arm over the back of the couch nonchalantly. "You two seem cozy."

She rolled her eyes. "Seriously? You're acting like my big brother, Demetri." He raised his hands in the universal I'm-just-saying gesture. "Seth is a really good friend."

"A friend who used to get in your pants?" Felix guessed to which Renesmee blushed. "Demetri acts the same way with Heidi." They all heard Renata scoff from the dining room, turning a page in her book at the same second.

"The only difference is Heidi and I still sleep together from time to time, but I don't think that is what's going on here." Demetri gave her a knowing look, but Renesmee just looked the other way.

"You know, I've been watching you two for a while, but I still can't figure out how you have so many secrets when you just met," Felix said suspiciously, leaning back in his chair and crossing one leg over the other. "If I didn't know any better, I would think Demetri was the one that got you pregnant."

Demetri scoffed as Renesmee fidgeted uncomfortably. "What, you think I'm the only one who thinks it? You two got awfully chummy awfully fast. Look, you can keep your secrets despite the fact I'm your best friend, Dem, but if you two get any more suspicious Aro is gonna start asking questions."

Renesmee thanked her lucky stars that the rest of the house was either out hunting or working, including Aro. She did not want to be asked any more questions she couldn't answer today.

Speaking of…

"Hey, Ness," Seth said, finally joining them in the living room, duffle bag safely stowed away in Jacob's room no doubt. "You wanna go for a walk?"

They both ditched their shoes on the front porch, relishing the sand under their feet. They didn't say much as they walked down the beach, Renesmee staring at the sunset and the rolling waves as Seth tried - and failed - to keep a secretive smile off his face.

"So how's your mom?" Renesmee asked conversationally.

"She took it pretty hard at first, but she's getting better. Leah's actually taking good care of her, believe it or not."

"Well they both have experience with lost love, I guess."

They didn't talk about much else as they kept walking. They had made it nearly a mile away from the house when Seth suddenly stopped dead in his tracks, patting the pockets of his shorts exaggeratedly. "Shit, I think I left my...my phone back in the house. I-I think I'm just gonna...go…"

"Seth?" Renesmee called after him in confusion as he high-tailed it down the beach, leaving her alone. The bushes rustled behind her, and she turned back around only to be greeted by Jacob's familiar form stepping out of the treeline.

He was dressed in a way she'd never seen him before, barefoot in the sand in a pair of khakis and a white button-down shirt, the top two buttons undone and the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. It was a long way from his jeans and tight t-shirts, and it did nothing to stem her confusion. Jacob walked towards her, a nervous smile on his face.

"Jake, what's going on?" she asked hesitantly as he stopped a few feet away from her. She crossed her arms over her chest protectively.

"I promise it'll all make sense in a second, Ness, just let me get this out," he took a deep breath. "You are, without a doubt, my best friend in the entire world. You're the one thing in this life that matters most to me, and you know I will always, _always_ be there for you - and for this baby. The two of you will never have to go through this life alone."

He took a step closer, and Renesmee's stomach twisted in knots as tears gathered in her eyes. She cursed her hormonal body. "I know what you feel for me isn't romantic, and I can't promise that will ever change. But I can promise that I will _never_ leave you. And that's regardless of your answer to what I'm about to ask."

She took a shaky breath as he brought a black satin box out of his pants pocket, looking away as she blinked back tears. He didn't get down on one knee, and he wasn't surrounded by rose petals or tealight candles, but it was one of the most heartfelt moments she had ever witnessed. It felt as if it wasn't truly happening to her. Like she was in some out-of-body experience.

"This is the ring my dad proposed to my mother with," he slowly opened the box, revealing a simple gold band with a single diamond in the middle, "and now it's the one I want to give to you. Renesmee Cullen, will you marry me?"

Jacob stared at her with such hope in his eyes that it nearly killed her to say what she did next, but she was doing it for him, she rationalized. "Jake," she said slowly and he huffed out a watery laugh, looking down as he started to tuck the ring box back in his pocket. Renesmee quickly grabbed his hand in hers, just holding it there until he looked at her. "This is quite possibly the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me. But I can't."

"You wanna tell me why?" he asked softly.

"It's not fair to you. I'm your imprint, and neither of us had any say in that, but to chain you to me forever with no hope for your own happiness _by choice?_ I could never do that to you. You deserve to find someone who can love you like you've never been loved before. Someone who can make you their first choice. You deserve choices. That's all I'll ever want for you."

"This _is_ my choice. No one made me do this. I decided," he sighed, wiping away a tear that fell from her eyes without her knowledge. "Can you tell me you'll at least consider it?"

Renesmee sighed, smiling softly at him. "If it will make you happy, then yes. I will consider it."

He smiled happily for the first time that night. "Will you wear it while you decide? If you decide the answer is no, you can just give it back." She nodded slowly and watched as he slipped the ring on her finger. It wiggled around a little, but it didn't seem like it was going to fall off. Almost a perfect fit.

Almost.

Jacob wrapped his arms around her in a hug, and that's where they stayed. Renesmee stared at the fading sunlight glinting off the diamond as she lost herself in her thoughts. She had already lost the one man she had ever loved, any semblance of a healthy relationship with her parents, her privacy, her body… So what was her hang-up when it came to Jacob's proposal? What more did she have to lose?

* * *

 _ **Volterra, Italy**_

 _ **Two Weeks Later**_

Heidi dropped a thick stack of magazines on the old wooden table in the castle library, sighing loudly as she plopped down in the chair. She sighed even more dramatically when the only other occupant of the room ignored her the first time. Alec rolled his eyes, never taking them off the page of the book in his hands.

"Will you stop sighing? I'm sure Demetri will be back any moment, and you can proceed ripping each other's clothes off while the rest of us try to drown out your incessant moaning," he said drily, crossing one leg over the other as he stretched out on the chaise across the room.

She flipped through her copy of Cosmopolitan with a perfectly manicured hand. "I'm not waiting for Demetri to get back. Demetri and I are done," she denied vehemently.

"Oh, that's right, it must be Thursday," he said sarcastically. Honestly, how they didn't tire of their little on-again-off-again game was beyond Alec's comprehension. They had been going at it for centuries.

"Aren't you bored?" she asked incredulously. "Nothing interesting has happened around here since Felix left. It's like he bottled up all the fun and took it with him."

"I get tired of Felix's games," Alec replied calmly. He could only take so many pranks in a month before he snapped and numbed his friend for a few hours. Sometimes it was as if Felix was an overgrown child, some 6'6" man-baby hybrid. _Ugh, don't say hybrid._

He had been going stir-crazy since Aro had left for Brazil, especially with nearly no news from him or the guard except for a phone call two days ago saying Aro was coming back for a bit. It seemed whatever business his master had with the Cullen coven had come to a halt for now. Despite himself, Alec couldn't help but hope that meant whatever was going on with Renesmee was finished.

"What happened to the Alec from three months ago, and can I please ask him to come back?" Heidi joked, though she sounded serious. Alec looked at her disinterestedly. "Seriously, you were like a completely different person. You kept bringing Jane presents, and Demetri said he even made you smile once. _Smile,_ Alec. It was like you were finally getting laid or something…"

It was like a lightbulb went off over her head as she stared at him like she'd never met him before. Before he could so much as deny it, Jane appeared in the doorway to the library. "They're back."

Heidi stood up slowly, trying not to seem too eager to finally see Demetri again. "We'll talk later." She scooted by Jane and out the door as Alec carefully marked his place and closed his book.

"Jane…" Alec said cautiously, grabbing her hand when she reached out for him. They trekked leisurely down the hall to the throne room.

"You don't need to say anything, Alec. I know you, you have no interest in such things. Heidi's perverse mind is just seeing things that aren't there, as usual. She does need something to gossip about from time to time, and if it's not there, she creates it."

He tried not to audibly sigh in relief at his sister's - albeit misplaced - faith in him. Of course she would see it that way. Jane had no interest in relationships like that herself, so why would he? Alec had never grown attached to someone other than his masters or covenmates before, to Jane's knowledge at least. He valued his sister's opinion of him above all else, and he was glad that his uncharacteristic behavior all those months did nothing to damage her view of him.

Jane's trust did nothing to staunch the guilt pooling in his stomach though. He had loved but two women in his life, and he had lied to one and broken the other's heart. _Maybe. Maybe she's doing better than you, just as you had hoped she would._

They quickly took their places in the throne room as the rest of the guard assembled, idly chatting amongst themselves as Aro talked quietly with Marcus and Caius. Alec watched blankly as Corin escorted Sulpicia and Athenodora into the room, taking her place as the wives moved to stand beside their husbands. The spot next to Marcus was very visibly empty, something that never failed to upset some members of the guard.

It was nothing more than a rumor, no evidence to back it up, but it was widely believed amongst the Volturi guard that Aro had been the one to do away with Didyme. Marcus had never outright confronted Aro about it, but Alec assumed he knew as well. It was too suspicious for anyone to believe that Didyme's untimely end had _nothing_ to do with wanting to leave the Volturi to be with Marcus. No one said anything though, out of respect to Marcus and Didyme's memory - and out of fear of retribution from Aro.

Demetri moved to take his place beside Alec instead of flirting with Heidi as their masters took their seats, Felix quickly taking up his post on the other side of Jane. Alec glanced at Demetri out of the corner of his eye. Demetri made a quick gesture of his head, looking left to right as if searching the room for something, but Alec took it for what it was. A shake of the head. A no. A _she's not alright._ Alec's muscles tensed, but he couldn't say anything with the entire guard in the room.

"Ah, my lovely people," Aro greeted the guard cheerfully. "I am so happy to be back again. Unfortunately, it will only be a brief visit as my business with the Cullens is not quite done." Alec heard Demetri grind his teeth.

"You're going back so soon?" Sulpicia addressed her husband. He turned his head to look at her almost sympathetically. "Maybe you could send someone in your stead?"

"My dear, the situation is delicate, and Carlisle is expecting me to return."

"Perhaps you could insist? I'm sure Carlisle would not object to someone else going instead of you," she rested a hand on his shoulder, and Aro sighed. "I have so missed you, my dear, and our people need you here."

It wasn't unheard of for the guard to witness each other's relationship issues - it was hard not to when they lived in such close quarters - but it was for the one of the wives to be so blatantly public about it. Most of the guard looked away respectfully as Aro and Sulpicia discussed the issue between each other quietly.

After a few minutes, Aro sighed. "Yes, dear. I suppose...I can send Marcus instead." Marcus just nodded, eyes drifting around the room boredly.

"Master, will you be sending Felix and me back as well?" Demetri asked respectfully, hands clasped firmly behind his back. Renata would be staying now that Aro was. It was perfect actually, less attitude for Demetri to put up with.

"No, my boy," Aro answered. "I believe Caius had something for the two of you to take care of." Demetri bowed his head respectfully, falling back into line once more. Alec was curious why Demetri suddenly looked so crestfallen to not be returning, but he stayed silent.

Marcus's droll voice interjected, "I see no problem going alone."

Aro tsked like a disgruntled school teacher. "Brother, of course not. I could not let you go out there unprotected."

 _Unguarded, you mean,_ Alec thought bitterly. _What warden in their right mind would let their prisoner wander off unwatched?_ Aro was probably worried Marcus would run off to Romania instead to get himself killed. Alec kicked himself for those thoughts though. They were dangerous, and they had no place in his head. The Volturi and its guard were not prisoners. They were all lucky to be a part of something so elite, so prestigious, so much bigger than any one of them alone.

"Who will be accompanying me then, Aro?" Marcus asked indifferently. If getting Alec to emote was next to impossible, getting anything besides boredom from Marcus was like trying to get blood from a stone.

"Hmm," Aro pursed his lips thoughtfully, looking around the room at the guard gathered among them. His eyes drifted to his left where his four best guards stood impassively - two of which had already been assigned to another mission. "You can take Alec and Jane."

* * *

 **A/N: (said like the beginning of Fergie's "London Bridge") _oh shit_**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer still owns Twilight and its characters.**

 **Warning: language and uh...yeah, we're still not there yet.**

* * *

After that, Aro dismissed the rest of the guard to go about their day, and Caius sent Demetri and Felix away before Alec could so much as blink. Demetri cut him one last glance, and if Alec didn't know the tracker better he would have said he looked almost...panicked. But that, of course, made no sense.

Alec paced back down the hallway toward his room, barely noticing Jane's presence, his mind racing miles a minute. After all these months of trying to forget and trying to keep the secret of their affair quiet, Aro had all but deposited him back into Renesmee's arms. And my, the possibilities of this situation were endless, but two things were abundantly clear.

One, their families would soon find out all the sordid details of their love affair. Renesmee's father - arguably the most annoying Cullen, in Alec's eyes - was a _mind reader,_ for Heaven's sake. If he hadn't already found out about their romance from Renesmee's mind - a highly unlikely possibility since Alec's body parts were still in their rightful places - he would most likely find out from Alec's. And if Edward struggled to put it together, there was still the problem of Marcus. Marcus's power was to sense relationships, dammit, which meant the second he was in the same room with Renesmee, their secret would be out to not only his master but Renesmee's father, and surely the whole Cullen coven would then learn of it as well - plus his sister and the rest of the Volturi.

Alec cursed mentally.

Then there was problem number two: whatever was going on with the Cullen coven, an issue that seemed to revolve around Renesmee, was obviously severe enough that Aro wanted to install an around-the-clock watch on them. Whether it truly was that serious or if it was Aro's paranoia getting the better of him once again, Alec had yet to determine.

He tried to remain emotionless, a feat he had mastered until a certain hybrid had crashed into his life, but his face must have betrayed his emotions - or at least his irritation - because his twin spoke. "Do not look so glum, brother. I quite look forward to seeing the Cullens again." Alec raised an eyebrow at that and Jane smirked. "Maybe they have finally done something to warrant their destruction."

Alec scoffed. "Simply existing is reason enough for you, sister. But you know Aro would have already dealt with it if that were the case." It felt wrong to be casually talking about Renesmee's death like this, as if it were as simple as a change in the weather, not the permanent loss of a girl he had come to love.

 _Loved, past tense,_ he reminded himself. _And you've already lost her. You made sure of that._

"Well, there is still time for him to change his mind," Jane quickly pecked Alec's cheek before she ducked into her room to pack her bag. He pulled open the door across from hers, the warm breeze coming through the window he had left open ruffling his dark hair. "Oh, and do not forget to tell Elena to call Carlisle and tell him we are coming. It is best to let them stew in their anticipation and fear," she added with a dark chuckle.

 _My sister the sadist,_ Alec shook his head as he shut the door to his room behind him. He grabbed a small black suitcase out of his wardrobe, setting it on the chaise as he began to pack. Much like Felix usually did, he folded everything meticulously, trying to focus on the task at hand instead of the mission before him. It seemed the Cullens wouldn't be the only ones stewing in their anticipation.

Alec couldn't imagine seeing Renesmee again. He had thought their paths wouldn't cross again for decades - which wasn't to say he didn't want to see her but he had hoped she would have time to move on before he did. The last time they had seen each other hadn't been pleasant. He had ripped out his own heart and laid it there at her feet as he had walked away from her. He could remember the anger on her face, the tears in her eyes as he tore them apart from each other.

 _For the better._ He had to remember that every day. He had done it for her. Alec would not let Renesmee share the same fate as Didyme. And that's what would have happened had they continued their relationship. He had known that even before Demetri confronted him, but he hadn't really _thought_ about it until that night. About how it would feel to know she was gone, not just from him but from this earth. He wanted her to live, even if it wasn't with him.

But that didn't mean he didn't hurt.

Alec finished packing his suitcase and sighed, glancing around his room. He didn't know when he would be back to this place again, not like it felt much like home anymore. It felt more temporary than the hotels Renesmee had met him in. Alec had lived in this room for more years than he could count, but more than ever, he realized how much it just felt like...nothing in there. Like some void he had been stuck in for centuries.

He didn't know where home was anymore. He used to think it was wherever Jane was, then he had made a home in Renesmee's heart, but he had destroyed that too. More than anything, he wanted to stop making homes out of people; they were too unreliable, too unstable. He had never felt at home in a place. Just once, that was what he wanted. A place he didn't have to worry about judgement or being put on a pedestal. Some place he could just be. Alec. Nobody's Alec but his own. And whoever wanted to join him was welcome, but he would not change to suit them in his own space.

Just like a switch flicking off in his brain, he abandoned those thoughts and reminded himself that this place, his coven, was where he belonged. Where he was needed. Where he was loved. He grabbed his things and walked out, shutting the door firmly behind him.

Alec found Elena at the receptionist desk, talking on her personal phone about what sounded like issues with men. Alec rolled his eyes; this one would definitely end up lunch if she didn't start taking her job more seriously. This was the third time he had caught her slacking. She quickly hung up when she saw him, greeting him in Italian.

"I need you to get a message to Carlisle Cullen," he told her in her native tongue. "Tell him Master Marcus will be coming in Master Aro's place and that Jane and I will be accompanying him." She nodded quickly, already pulling up Carlisle's contact information on her computer.

Alec turned around just as Jane and Marcus joined him, suitcases in hand as well. Marcus looked like he was disassociating with the world as always, the glazed look in his eye reminding Alec of what he saw sometimes when he looked in the mirror. Alec had always had more in common with Marcus than the other two leaders; both of them desperately tried to keep their emotions under lock and key, but the more they tried, the easier it seemed for the ones closest to them to read. In Marcus's case, it was impossible to misconstrue the eternal misery in his eyes from the loss of his mate and the happiness she had brought.

Jane's eyes glinted with something much more dangerous, that cunning spark she always held when she set off on a mission to destroy something - and it only tripled when that "something" was the Cullens. "Shall we?"

Alec heaved a sigh as he took the hand that wasn't holding on her suitcase, clasping their hands together like they had a million times. They followed Marcus obediently out the door.

* * *

 _ **Isle Esme**_

 _ **20 Minutes Later**_

Renesmee flipped another page of the book she was reading, enjoying the peace and quiet that came with a nearly empty house. With the Volturi gone for a few days and most of her family out of the house, Renesmee had a chance to actually relax for the first time in months. She was enjoying the book that had been sitting on her shelf for months upon months that she had just now gotten around to reading, something about a human girl who liked to blog and a super hot alien with freaky light powers and a bad attitude.

Just as she was getting into a particularly riveting part of the book, a phone rang from the coffee table in front of her. She held her finger between the pages as she shut the novel, grabbing for the ringing cell phone - her father's, not hers. Carlisle's name and a picture of Esme and him flashed on the screen.

She answered on the third ring. "Grandpa?"

She heard him sigh wearily over the phone. "Ness, is Edward around? I need to speak with him." Her father came down the hall from his room quickly, and Renesmee handed him the phone. She watched with furrowed eyebrows as her father paced back down the hall, talking quietly on the phone, so low she couldn't hear.

Renesmee quickly got lost in her book again as she became fixed on the girl's point of view as she was attacked by her homecoming date only to be saved by said douchebag-alien. She jumped when she heard Edward curse loudly, hearing a suspicious crack as something hit the wall in the hallway. Her hand slipped as she lost her page and she groaned internally, setting the book on the table and running to the hall. Her father's enraged figure hunched in the open doorway to his room, staring down at his phone crumbled on the hardwood floor.

Renesmee rolled her eyes as Bella came to rub her husband's shoulder. _That man should not be allowed to have a phone._ She had lost count of how many he had destroyed over the years. Jacob poked his head out of his room, the only other family member here to witness Edward's ten millionth mental breakdown.

"They're coming," Edward growled more to himself than them.

Renesmee exchanged an annoyed look with her imprinter, wishing her dad could just chill for once. "Yeah, we knew they'd come back. Aro's paranoid A-F. He's worried I'm gonna give birth to the Antichrist or something."

Edward still tensed at any mention of Renesmee's...condition. It had been nearly two months since they found out, but he still hadn't gotten the stick out of his ass. She knew he was just worried, but this was nonsense. If he really thought she was going to die, wouldn't it make more sense for him to want to squeeze every last bit of their time together? But then, it was probably too hard on him that she didn't trust him enough to let him into her head, let him see the secrets she had been keeping from him for months.

Still, it wasn't fair that Bella had to be torn between the two of them, though it came as no surprise to Renesmee when her mother chose to be on Edward's side instead of hers. That wasn't to say Bella didn't support her daughter - after all, it'd be hypocritical for her not to - but it was obvious to Renesmee that her mother would always choose Edward over her. Like she had to make-up for going against him before Renesmee was born. She was playing both sides, keeping Renesmee's mind safe from Edward and keeping Edward as calm as he could be without a freaking horse tranquilizer.

"Not Aro," he explained gruffly. "He's sending Marcus instead. And… Jane and Alec." Bella's face grew stony, but Renesmee's stomach dropped, her heart in her throat. She lost all her breath in that moment, and she nearly tripped over her own feet before she even knew where she was going. Out, she had to _get out._ She barely heard one of them call her name questioningly as she took the shortest route, cutting through the room to her right - Rosalie and Emmett's room - and out the window.

Renesmee ran. She didn't know for how long or how far, but she ran until her legs gave out, and then she ran more. The first time they gave out, she tripped over a thick tree root. Her stomach heaved, and she lost what little sustenance she had scarfed down at lunch. She got back up, tears stinging her eyes, brushed off her jeans, and set off again. The second time they gave out, she sank down onto the sand of the beach. It clicked somewhere far in her mind that she had run clear across the island to the other side, but she didn't care. She just wanted to be alone.

Not even two minutes later, a wolf broke through the foliage behind her, and she turned her tear-streaked face to stare at it before it retreated back into the forest. She rolled her eyes and sniffled, hearing the tell-tale sound of Jacob nearly falling over in his haste to redress himself. Thirty seconds later, Jacob's bare arms encircled her as he sat down beside her in the warm sand.

"Are you alright?" he asked softly. Renesmee shook her head. "Are you scared?"

She was, but not for the reasons he probably assumed. She nodded. "Ness, you don't need to be scared. That little leech isn't going to do anything. She couldn't even if she wanted to, not with Bella around." Not even Bella could save her from Jane's wrath once she found out about her relationship with her brother - and the mounting consequences.

"Ness," Jacob whispered softly, pulling away to look at her. "Talk to me."

She twirled her "engagement" ring around on her finger; she had yet to give him an answer, but her family firmly believed she'd say yes. "It's not just that…"

She knew their promise to keep their relationship a secret was pretty much null-and-void now, especially since Demetri had been clued in long ago, but she couldn't bring herself to tell. Unlike her heart, she wanted the promise to remain unbroken. But if Jacob put it together himself, she wasn't technically saying anything, right? It would be just like the Demetri thing.

"Jake," she scooted away, crossing her legs and running her hand over the sand. It calmed her to watch it flatten, soothing away some of the ill feelings lurking in her stomach. This was a massive bombshell, and she wasn't quite sure how to drop it. Was it better to go into it calmly or just use the rip-it-off-like-a-band-aid method? "Has anyone ever explained Marcus's gift to you?"

"It might have been mentioned once or twice, I don't know," he answered, completely confused. He stared at her but she didn't look back.

"He can sense relationship ties. Put ten, twenty, a hundred people in one room, and he can tell you exactly who they are to one another. Family, friend, lover…" She took a deep breath, heart pounding in her chest.

"Okay… Why are you telling me this?" Jacob's eyebrows furrowed as she finally looked up at him, her frustration coming through in her big brown eyes.

Renesmee had to fight to unstick her tongue from her mouth so she could finally explain it to him. After months, being so close to telling her best friend the truth felt kind of freeing in a terrifying way, like bungee jumping off of a really tall bridge. "I'm telling you this, because once they get here, I'm going to need someone on my side. A lot of shit is going to come to light really fast, and I need to know I'm not gonna be alone in this. Did you mean it? When you said you would always be there for me?"

"Of course, Ness, but I still don't get it. What does this have to do with Marcus if he can only sense relationships when people are toget- wait." She saw the moment it clicked in his mind and cringed as he shot to his feet. "Nonononono, _shit_ , Ness, tell me you aren't that stupid? It's _his?_ "

"Obviously it's his. You run off to Europe on your own for months and come back knocked up with some vampire's kid and don't tell anyone what happened, coupled with the freak-out the moment you heard his name," Jacob ranted to himself, dragging his fingers through his hair.

Despite her best efforts, tears started welling up in her eyes again as she watched his meltdown. Of course he wasn't gonna take this well; it was like she had just dropped a nuke on his whole world. And this was only a fraction of what it would be like when her family found out, plus Jane and Marcus, and then the baby-bomb too… Was it too late to drown herself in the ocean?

One look at her face was enough to stop him in his tracks. His voice didn't lose its incredulity though. "Ness, what were you thinking?"

She laughed drily. "At first? 'He's actually pretty fucking hot.'" Jacob shook his head, not in the mood for her jokes; she didn't feel like joking either, but if she didn't, she would probably keep crying and she was already getting a headache. "Then it was 'wow, he's a dick.' But then as time went on… I don't know, it sounds ridiculous."

Renesmee looked away as Jacob's eyes searched her face, his eyes probing like he could see straight through her. He had always known her better than anyone, with the exception of recent events, and she knew she couldn't hide from him. Didn't mean she couldn't try though. He crouched down next to her. "Ness… you can be honest with me. Do you love him?"

She stood up hastily, brushing the sand off the back of her pants. "That doesn't matter. It never did. He left, and I had to pick up the pieces. Come on, we should go." She walked away, her heart still trapped somewhere between her stomach and her lungs.

* * *

 **A/N: Y'all hate me now, right? lol NEXT CHAPTER, I promise.**

 **Side note: If any of you know the book Renesmee was reading in this chapter, you're now officially my best friend.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I know I was gone for a minute, but I still don't own Twilight or its characters.**

 **A/N: Anyone still here? I'm so so so sorry I was late this week BUT A.) it was Thanksgiving and I was super busy with family and B.) MY HUSBAND JUST GOT HOME FROM A 9 MONTH DEPLOYMENT. Can you hear me screaming? Anyway, this chapter is getting up today, and hopefully, I'll be back to posting regularly every Wednesday like usual.**

 **Side note: Shout-out to IHeartTheWorld, first reviewer and knew exactly what book I mentioned in the last chapter. It's the first book (titled Obsidian) of the Lux series by Jennifer L. Armentrout, my favorite author. If you've never read it, you should definitely check it out - and anything else she's written. The woman knows how to do action AND swoonworthy romance; what more do you need?**

 **Warning: language**

* * *

Back at the house, Jacob had easily explained Renesmee's sudden departure to her parents, chalking it up to nerves about Jane's visit, but Renesmee could see how uneasy Jacob was at the secret that had just been spilled. She locked herself in her room the rest of the day, not coming out to talk to her family as they got home or even to eat. She wouldn't have been able to hold food down anyway; her nerves were too far gone for that.

In less than thirteen hours, he would be standing in her living room, face-to-face with her for the first time since he had broken her heart in his cold fist. It had been hard not to think about him in the past few months, but not impossible – all she had to do was keep herself busy and try to forget that she was carrying their lovechild.

But no matter what she tried to do now, she couldn't distract herself. She had given up reading, abandoned her laptop – the screen still displaying a paused Sims game – and settled for wrapping herself in a cocoon of blankets in the floor of her bathroom. She drifted in and out of consciousness between bouts of morning sickness.

A knock sounded on her bedroom door what felt like days later, but Renesmee knew it wasn't that long. She rolled over, cheek pressed against the cool, tiled floor. She counted the seconds until he would go away, but he just knocked louder. "What?" she groaned.

Jacob cracked open her bedroom door and glanced around until he spotted her feet sticking out of the doorway to her bathroom. He sighed, coming in and shutting the door with the hand that wasn't occupied. His left hand held a bowl of what smelled suspiciously like beef stew, though Renesmee could smell the blood mixed into it. She sat up, her shoulders slumped, as she took the bowl from him.

"You look like crap," he said, grabbing a washcloth and rinsing it in the sink before ringing it out and using it to wipe some sweat from her brow.

She blew some steam from the hot bowl of soup. "Perks of pregnancy, I assume. You sweat buckets, puke your guts up, and cry your way through the whole damn process."

Jacob looked at her pitifully and she averted her eyes to stare into the bowl, swirling the spoon around. "Ness, you can't act like this. You have had plenty of time to come clean."

"So this is the 'you did this to yourself' speech? Thanks, Jake, my favorite."

"You want hand-holding, go to Rosalie. I'm here for you, but damn if I'm not angry about this, Ness. You're going to have to take responsibility for yourself soon enough," he sighed, getting up and throwing the washcloth in the hamper. "Carlisle left earlier to go pick them up."

Renesmee's hands shook as she set the bowl on the floor, holding onto her blankets as she stood up. She toed back into her bedroom, avoiding eye contact. Finding out Demetri knew the truth was a relief, but somehow Jacob knowing unnerved her. Like she had let him down. "How long?"

"He'll be back within the hour. I'd eat if I were you, and take some time to get my head on straight." He left her alone after that, and her stomach sank.

 _Better enjoy these last few moments of peace,_ she thought as she went back to the bathroom to get her soup. _Because shit's about to hit the fan._

* * *

Renesmee ended up scarfing down the bowl of stew in two minutes flat, her stomach aching from the hunger her sickness had brought about. Then she changed clothes four times before she decided casual was best, so she settled on a pair of shorts and a crop top; afterwards, she messed with her hair for thirty minutes before she realized she wasn't doing much but tangling it up. She threw it in a messy bun, half the ringlets falling down into her face, but she couldn't make herself care. Just making herself leave her bedroom was a challenge.

Her whole family, sans Carlisle, was gathered in the conjoined living room/dining room/kitchen area, paired off with their respective partners – minus Esme who was sitting with Alice and Jasper on the sofa. Renesmee stood beside Jacob's bar stool, legs too stiff to force herself to sit. The whole family could hear how fast her heart was racing, but Renesmee was in no position to make it slow down. She felt about two seconds away from having a panic attack as she watched through the window as Carlisle docked the boat.

Four figures stepped off, three cloaked in black. Renesmee's heart dropped.

Carlisle led them inside the house, her family standing on the defensive. Her breath hitched as she saw him for the first time in months.

She saw Bella and Jane size each other up as Bella focused to wrap her shield around her family. Renesmee's eyes locked onto his, and they both knew they only had seconds before their secret was out.

One.

 _God, he looks just the same._

Two.

 _Does she look…curvier? How is that possible?_

Three.

 _He's wearing that shirt._

Four.

 _I love her hair up._

Five.

 _Alec._

Six.

 _Ren._

At seven seconds, the lightbulbs started going off. The first one to it was Marcus – Edward less than a beat behind, Jasper following almost immediately after. Renesmee crossed her arms across her chest instinctively, tucking her left hand under her right arm. Marcus glanced curiously between the two of them, his usual bored expression bordering amusement, like the situation was the height of entertainment. Alec could have growled, but Edward beat him to it, though it was directed at an entirely different person. His daughter.

" _This_ is what you've been keeping from us?" His topaz eyes darkened in anger, his expression absolutely livid. Jacob's arm shot out in front of his imprint, pushing her back as her father took a step forward. The display made Edward pause as if he hadn't realized he had stalked toward them. "Now I can see why you didn't tell us."

"I certainly was not expecting this development," Marcus's droll voice interrupted. "Aro will most definitely have questions."

"Master," Alec pleaded as Jane stared at her brother in confusion. He did his best to ignore the heat in her gaze.

Emmett piped up, voice booming through the tension. "I have a few questions of my own, such as what the hell is going on here?" Rosalie wrapped her hand around her husband's arm as she glanced at the faces around the room, trying to put two and two together.

"Who would care to explain?" Marcus asked calmly, glancing between Alec, Renesmee, and Edward – the first two of which looked like they wanted to bury their heads in the sand and the latter which looked like he had swallowed a bucket of nails. The Volturi leader sighed. "Young Miss Cullen and Alec appear to be…well-acquainted with each other."

More lightbulbs. More voices started joining the fray, faster now. They started blurring together in Renesmee's mind.

"Well-acquainted _how?_ " Jane growled, baring her teeth as she stared Renesmee down. The girl flinched but returned her gaze levelly, reveling in her mother's shield. It really was a life-saver.

"Jane."

" _He's_ the one that got you into this mess?"

"No wonder she didn't tell us. I wouldn't tell us either."

"Brother, I don't know which of you I should kill first."

"This is insane. I'm getting a headache."

"You can't _get_ a headache, Emmett. Shut up."

"Ness, you should have told us."

"You actually _had sex_ with that…thing?"

"Had sex? Try 'knocked her up.'"

"Emmett!" Rosalie scolded him, but the damage was done. Alec's crimson eyes snapped up to look at Renesmee, running over her figure rapidly before they stopped above her waistline. She hadn't noticed anything when she looked in the mirror earlier, but Alec noticed even the smallest fraction of a baby bump protruding from her flat stomach. She shrunk back as an even more dangerous pair of eyes landed on her.

"That's…not possible," Alec glared at Renesmee like she was playing the cruelest prank on him. She had never seen such hatred in his eyes, but below that burned something deeper. Something akin to the sting of betrayal.

"Dear boy, why do you think we are here?" Marcus asked. Alec stumbled – actually _stumbled_ – back a step. "No one thought to tell you the mission? Even your sister knew the delicate state Miss Cullen is in."

Alec's head snapped toward Jane, and she looked at him with disgust. "Felix likes to talk. But I never imagined it was _yours."_

"Yeah, none of us did," Bella growled. She had Edward shoved behind her, barely restraining him as his body shook with rage. Renesmee knew it was taking all her father had not to attack Alec for his role in this situation – just like he had with Jacob, only this time he probably wouldn't stop – but he knew the consequences if he attacked a Volturi guard. The entire room thrummed with tension.

"It appears we have to rethink everything we once thought was unimaginable," Marcus commented.

"I," Alec backed up, eyes still stuck in Renesmee, "can't be here right now. I have to go."

And for the first time in his existence, Alec of the Volturi turned tail and ran.

* * *

"Well that was anticlimactic," Emmett quipped. Jane and Bella both growled at him to shut up, causing the brunette to cast a thin gaze at the blonde, who completely ignored all of them as she stomped to the living room. "Seriously, I was expecting a cage match or something."

"Better that this doesn't come to blows," Esme reminded him, glaring at him in that motherly way of hers.

Jane huffed, pacing in the living room. "Yet." Most of the family dispersed, Bella and Edward heading to their room, Carlisle and Esme leading Marcus to the office. Emmett and Rosalie left to their room too, Emmett making ill-conceived jokes all the while.

Renesmee hopped up onto the kitchen counter and sat down. "I think I'm gonna puke."

"Was that as bad as you thought it would be?" Jacob crossed his arms over his chest. Jasper and Alice hung out too, his right arm wrapped around her waist.

"How did you know?" Alice asked him suspiciously. "You definitely weren't as shocked as the rest of us. When did she tell you?"

Jacob sighed, leaning against the island. "This morning. She needed someone on her side when all this shit happened."

"And you're not _mad?_ She's your imprint. You're supposed to protect her, to stop her from doing stupid things like this."

"Of course, I'm mad. I'm furious. But it's not my place to tell her what she can or can't do. Even if I did, it's not like she'd listen. Besides, what's done is done. None of us can change it now." Jacob grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator, taking a swig before setting it down in front of him on the counter.

"You know I'm right here, right?" Renesmee waved her arms in front of her to catch their attention. She had always hated it when they talked about her like she wasn't in the room, a habit they had done pretty much her whole life.

"Yes, how could we forget? You and your bad seed," Jane scoffed under her breath.

"Something you want to say to me?" Renesmee challenged her. She knew it wasn't smart, but surely Jane wouldn't hurt her since she knew Renesmee was carrying her niece/nephew…right?

"Not in the slightest."

Renesmee tried again. "You ever heard the phrase 'takes two to tango?' Your brother was as much involved in this as I was."

Jane stopped pacing to glare daggers at the hybrid girl. "And that is something I will discuss with my brother, not some common gutter rat like yourself."

Renesmee snarled at her. "There isn't anything 'common' about me, princess. I'm one of a kind."

"'Abomination' is more like it." Renesmee flew off the counter only to be caught by Jacob's hand on her shoulder. Jane straightened, as ready to throw down as Renesmee was.

"Think for a second. Don't do anything stupider than you already have," Jasper's calm voice warned her. Renesmee recoiled. One little secret slipped out and now her pregnancy had gone from a miracle to a mistake. Nice to know how fast her family could be persuaded to the other side.

Renesmee shook off Jacob's hand roughly, stomping to the backdoor. "Where are you going?" Alice shouted after her.

"Anywhere but here."

* * *

Alec stomped through the woods at a human pace, his mind running circles around him. Never in all his years had he ever screwed up this badly. His affair with Renesmee had been…not a mistake, but a situation he wished could have turned out differently. He didn't regret it – that wasn't possible when it had brought him so much joy – but if he could even come close to regretting it, it would be now.

"Knocked her up," her uncle – Emmett, the big one – had said. In colloquial terms, that meant she was pregnant, didn't it? And sure enough, it clicked in his head. That was why he had thought she looked curvier. She was carrying his baby? But that wasn't possible.

 _She wasn't supposed to be possible either_ , the little voice in his head reminded him.

He had done that. He had taken one of the only bright things left in this world and corrupted it so fully… He had ruined her just like he had promised himself he never would. Dammit, he had ended things with her to _stop her_ from getting hurt – but as always, he was the one hurting her most.

 _Then again, maybe it's not yours._

He hadn't missed it. The way the golden band on her dainty ring finger had glinted under the overhead lights as she had crossed her arms protectively around herself. The way that dog had pushed her behind his body to shield her from her father. She had always told him the mutt was nothing but a friend, but it appears that had changed too.

The thought of her marrying that buffoon was like a red-hot dagger deep in his chest. He wasn't used to hurting like this. He was the numb one, the emotionless twin. He could control himself. He had been doing it for centuries – until she had come along. But he could go back, right? He had done it to end things with her. Had pretended that the tears in her eyes hadn't stung him, that leaving her there hadn't made him want to die all over again.

He heard a loud splash from his right, and he veered off only to stop as he came to an opening in the trees. A waterfall roared up ahead and poured down into a steady stream of water. The cause of his mental breakdown sat on her knees, a huge chunk of rock crumbling in front of her, slowly sliding into the river. Her knuckles were bruised and slightly bleeding, and her shoulders hunched as she wept openly.

All of this was his fault, and he had no idea what to do.

* * *

 **A/N: Well the cat's out of the bag. Get ready - there's gonna be way more drama and maybe even a little fluff down the line?**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: Seriously, you know by now that I don't own Twilight or its characters.**

 **Warnings: language, excessive use of italics**

* * *

Renesmee took a shaky breath, wiping the tears from her eyes. A drop of blood from her busted knuckles slid down the back of her hand. She stood on shaking legs, and her foot almost slipped out from under her over the crumbling surface of the rock she had taken her frustrations out on. Her heart thudded wildly against her rib cage as she watched more of the rock tumble into the stream.

 _That was almost me,_ she thought. And then she nearly wished it was so that she didn't have to go back to face the people in her house. Her "family" as she had always called them. _Some family. They turned around so easily._

Of course, Renesmee had expected that. She knew they wouldn't take it well once they found out - that was why she had decided to keep it secret even before all of this pregnancy mess. But some small, naive part of her had hoped that her anxiety had just gotten the best of her, that she was making their disgust and disapproval out to be worse than it was. But tonight had proved just how bad the blood ran between their two covens, and just how far, in her family's eyes, she had fallen.

Figuring she had to go back sometime, she took one step away from the stream and then another. As she walked, she fiddled absentmindedly with the ring on her finger, twirling it around before slipping it off and back on. It hadn't felt weird to wear it these last few weeks - it had felt like a more mature version of the bracelet Jacob had given her for her first Christmas - but with _his_ presence here now, it made her uncomfortable, like she was living in a charade. She couldn't help but wonder if he had seen it, and how it had made him feel.

Not that she should worry about that, she reminded herself. _He_ left _her,_ after all. And right now they had bigger fish to fry, such as their families and the impending growth of a new one.

Renesmee slipped quietly through the back door, out of the darkening wilderness and into the fluorescent light of the dining room. Jane sat prim and proper across the room on the couch, still cloaked in black and staring at nothing. The rest of the family was missing, probably sequestered away in their rooms to give Jane her space, afraid of her wrath.

Renesmee quietly slinked into the hallway, halfway to her room before Bella stepped out of hers. "We need to talk."

The hybrid sighed, glancing around for witnesses or any way out of the conversation. "I'm kinda...tired," she explained weakly.

"Renesmee," her father's voice called from inside her parents' room. "Enough games. We need to talk about this, now." She gulped, glancing around uncomfortably one last time. "He's not here."

She sighed, stepping into her parents' room and shutting the door behind her. Edward sat on the ottoman at the end of the bed and Bella took a seat beside him. Renesmee sank down in a plush red chair in the corner of the room, tucking her knees into her chest. "What do you wanna talk about?"

"How about the basics?" Edward suggested tensely.

Renesmee scoffed, shaking her head. "How about we discuss the fact that this is the longest conversation we've had since we figured out I was pregnant, and that the only reason you're talking to me now is because you can't stand my baby daddy? Let's talk about that."

"And we," Bella rested a hand on her mate's forearm, "want to apologize for that. Edward hasn't handled it well, and I'm sorry that I've chosen to be on his side instead of yours, but you have to understand something, Renesmee…"

"Oh, I do understand. I understand more than you could believe. I understand that I was never what you expected from this life. I was a complete accident, a fluke. You took care of people your whole life, Mom, and there I was needing you like everyone else, and you can't deny that part of you resents me for it. But that's the life you chose."

"And we wanted you to have a different life, with different choices. Every parent wants that for their child," Edward quietly explained.

"Why can't I make different choices _and_ the same ones? God willing, I'm going to live a long, long life. I can have all of it."

"That's greedy, Renesmee."

The girl shrugged, not denying that. "So be it, but nothing is gonna stop me from getting what I want in this life."

"And what do you want, right now?" Edward asked, tensing as if he already knew the answer. A certain vampire's face flashed in her mind, confirming his suspicions. "Yes, _that._ That's what we wanted to talk about."

"I know what you think of him, and of me now. I don't see a reason to talk about it."

"Oh, so you're a mind reader now too, are you?" Edward asked sarcastically. "Stop being as stubborn as your mother for three seconds, and _talk to us._ "

Renesmee sighed, burying her face in her knees. Her voice came out muffled as she spoke, "What do you wanna know?"

"Everything," Bella answered simply.

Edward grimaced. "Not everything. Just…help us understand how this happened."

"I ran into him in a club in Paris. I had been having fun. He had been on a mission with the others, but they had split up to hunt. He came in looking for...food, but he ran into me instead."

Her parents just sat, listening intently, so Renesmee kept going. "It was just sex, at first. He'd find me anywhere I went, and…"

"I don't need _details._ And for the love of God, quit thinking about it," Edward complained.

"Sorry. But from the beginning, we decided if we were gonna have a... _relationship,_ nobody could know. We didn't understand what we were doing, and we didn't want to deal with a million other people asking questions. And we knew you all would act...pretty much like you are right now.

"So we kept quiet. We saw each other anywhere we could, and eventually what was just sex felt like something...more. To me, at least. But in May, he changed his mind. He didn't want to see me anymore, he fed me some line about not being good for me, and he just...ditched. Three days later, I came home."

"You pretty much know the rest," she finished. Her heart ached fiercely and her stomach churned at everyone else in the house hearing what she had just shared with her parents.

"And Demetri?" Bella asked curiously. "You two were closer than you'd expect while he was here."

"Demetri knew. He put it together himself. Apparently, we weren't discreet enough to slip it past him, but he kept it to himself. And he was a good friend while he was here. It was nice to not have to lie to someone, and not have them judge me for knowing the truth." Renesmee stared pointedly at Bella and Edward.

They at least had the audacity to look ashamed. "So...what are you going to do now?" Her mother asked.

Renesmee knew what she meant but she wasn't ready to answer yet, probably because she didn't _have_ an answer. Instead, she said, "Now, I'm going to take a shower and wash off all of the tension of today."

Her parents looked like they wanted her to say something else, anything else, something probably along the lines of "don't worry, I'm not going to run off and join the Volturi and start using innocent Girl Scouts' necks as bendy straws" but she didn't say anything as she stalked out of their room.

* * *

Renesmee showered, washing off the sweat from her bathroom nap and scrubbing the blood off her knuckles, leaving just the bruised and torn skin behind.

After, she dried off and dressed in her favorite flannel pajama pants and a tee, sitting down in front of her vanity to tame her tangled hair. As she separated the knots in her curls, her eyes drifted to the pictures taped to her mirror. Two of Peanut's ultrasound pictures. The right side of her lips quirked into a small smile as she took the bottom one down, staring at the little blob and trying to believe that it was currently inside her body. It was so hard for her grasp, the thought making her head spin.

Renesmee sighed, standing up and leaving her room, taking the picture with her. She didn't look up as she walked, using her periphery to climb the stairs to the second floor. The balcony was one of her favorite places to go when she wanted to think, besides the waterfall or the beach.

She paused as she stepped out onto the balcony, hand falling down beside her. Alec sat there, legs dangling off the edge between the wooden slats. He tensed when he noticed her behind him, but he didn't turn around.

"Sorry, I didn't know you were out here," she said dully.

All he said was "this is bad." He never turned to look at her. From behind, she could almost pretend everything was the same as months ago. Months ago, they would've had sex and cuddled and talked, and then she would've taken pictures of him when he wasn't looking. Her fingers almost itched for her phone to capture his dark silhouette against the darker sky.

Instead, she just agreed. "Yeah, that was my first reaction too. Had to force myself to think past that."

"This is really bad," he reiterated.

She rolled her eyes. "You already said that."

"It seemed worth repeating."

"Can you snap out of it already? I can't have an intelligent conversation with you like this."

"Well I apologize, but I just found out the girl I used to sleep with is having a baby. It takes a second to process," he explained bitterly.

"Your baby," Renesmee reminded him. "I'm having _your_ baby."

"Are you?" Alec asked rudely, face turning around to find hers in the dark. His crimson eyes burned bright in the darkness, sparking with fury. Renesmee recoiled like he'd smacked her.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

He got up in a second, standing in front of her, rigid posture displaying his misplaced anger. "You think I haven't noticed the ring on your finger, Renesmee? Obviously, the mutt has gotten to you in more ways than one."

Renesmee's annoyance quickly rose to match his fury. "What the hell is the matter with you? Of course it's yours. Have you forgotten all the times I've told you Jacob is _just a friend_?"

"So the ring on your finger is a symbol of _friendship_ , is it?" Alec asked sarcastically, rolling his eyes as she crossed her arms, ring on full display now just to piss him off, the ultrasound clenched tightly in her hand.

"Where do you come off? Do you need a refresher course on our relationship? _You_ left _me,_ remember? So yeah, Jacob asked me to marry him when he found out I'd be raising _our_ child alone."

"And so you said yes. You really want to spend your _happily ever after_ with a _dog_?" His eyes narrowed.

Renesmee growled at him, bile rising in her throat. "I didn't _say_ yes."

"You're wearing the ring."

"At Jacob's request," she explained to him as if he were years below her. "He asked me to wear it while I considered the proposal."

"So you're considering it." Alec didn't say it like it was a question. He said it like it was final, the last nail in the coffin. It felt like it to him.

Renesmee's eyes narrowed at him. "Maybe I am, so what? It wouldn't be the end of the world for me to marry someone who actually loves me."

What an opening that was. A thousand unspoken feelings circled the air between them, words they had never said sparkling like the stars in the sky. Neither one of them was willing to open that particular can of worms tonight.

Instead, they covered those feelings with more anger. "If you think _our_ child…" Alec couldn't believe he was actually saying those words, "is going to call that mutt 'Dad.'"

"I don't see how that's your choice," Renesmee stepped towards him angrily, their bodies only a foot apart. "As far as I'm concerned, you forfeited any right you had when you walked out of that hotel room in May. Who I allow in my child's life is my choice."

The word "my" felt like a brick in Alec's stomach. He wished she would take it back. Though he still couldn't wrap his mind around it, he didn't like the thought of not being involved in the child's life. He looked down when he felt her hand push something into his chest.

"Here. I was gonna give you this before you started acting like a dick. Keep it, throw it away, I don't care. Just do your mission like the good little guard you are, and stay the fuck away from me."

Then she turned around and stomped away, slamming the balcony door behind her. The ultrasound picture fluttered to the ground at his feet.

* * *

 **A/N: This is what happens when I have no plan for how the chapter should go lmao don't forget to review! It makes my day to read your thoughts.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: Still don't own Twilight or its characters. Damn.**

 **Warning: language**

* * *

Alec waited until he knew Renesmee was asleep before he went downstairs, the strange photo clenched in his hand. He had stared at it for hours, but he still didn't understand exactly what he was looking at. All he saw was a black-and-white blur printed beneath Renesmee's name. Why had she wanted him to have this?

Well into the night, Alec snuck back downstairs, careful not to disrupt the quiet that had come over the house. He had caused enough chaos for one night. Admittedly, he could have handled things with Renesmee a bit better, but he honestly hadn't known how to react. He had been alive for well over twelve hundred years, but no words had shaken him up like the ones she had used to confirm his thoughts.

"I'm having your baby."

There she had stood in front of him, her silhouette outlined by the glow of the fluorescent lights behind her, like some kind of halo - God, he was so sappy sometimes it made his head spin. And instead of taking her into his arms like every muscle in his body had screamed, he had lashed out. He hurt her, made her angry, tore at her heartstrings, just like he does best.

And she had given it right back to him, just as she does best.

Alec paused at the foot of the stairs, suddenly remembering the other - and quite arguably scarier - woman in his life… Jane, whom he had yet to speak to since the events of the afternoon. He worried a bit that the Cullens would find his severed head on a pike in their living room come morning, but he had to take that risk.

"Jane," he called cautiously, moving around the back of the sofa to face her head-on - a dangerous move considering her ability needed direct eye-contact to be effective. He only hoped she wasn't pissed enough to use it on him.

Jane's crimson eyes locked on him with the ease of a hungry cheetah staring down a baby gazelle, and if Alec still had a heartbeat, he knew it would be entering cardiac arrest territory. She didn't move anything but her eyes, her hands still folded primly in her lap, one leg tucked behind the other. "Sister… speak to me."

"Where would you have me start, Alec? You kept this secret from me for months, almost a year actually. You started a sexual relationship with a Cullen, and not just any Cullen but that _monstrosity_ of a creature that shouldn't exist on this planet to begin with, not to mention it seems as though you got said-monstrosity pregnant. And all the while, you kept bringing me trinkets to assuage your guilt for lying to me. Tell me, _brother,_ do I know you at all?"

"Jane, you still know me," Alec held his hands out in a placating gesture, stepping closer to his twin. "I am the same as I have always been."

"No, you aren't. The old Alec would never have kept secrets from me, and he certainly never would have gotten involved with a mangy little half-breed," she said haughtily.

Alec didn't like hearing his sister say such things about Renesmee, but he had better points to argue right now than what adjectives were and were not acceptable. He fell to one knee beside her, taking her hands in his own. "What would you have me say, Jane? Do you want me to lie to you again or do you finally want the truth?"

She didn't need to speak for him to hear her. "If you want there to be no more lies between us, then here it is: I am sorry that I lied to you for so long. I wished many times that I could tell you of my relationship with Renesmee, but I couldn't. At first, I worried for my reputation and about what the rest of you would think of me. But it became more than that. It was about her safety. I needed to protect her from the rest of you, and from the darkest parts of myself.

"If you want an apology, here you go: I am deeply and truly apologetic for not trusting you enough to tell you, and I promise I will never keep another secret from you again. But if you are asking me to apologize for getting involved with her, I can't. I won't." He stood up, unclasping his hands from around hers. "I am sorry that things turned out the way they did, but I'm not sorry that they started."

Jane pursed her lips and dusted off her perfectly clean dress. "I see. Well, I believe I've heard all I have needed to hear. If you will excuse me," she dismissed herself properly before she stood and walked away from her twin, for once in her life unable to look him in the eye.

Alec sighed and hung his head as she stepped out the front door. Even though he was physically unable, he had never felt more tired mentally. In just one day, he had been reunited with Renesmee, found out she was expecting and engaged to another man, simultaneously hurt her feelings and pissed her off, and poured his heart out to his twin sister who left him in the dust. If there was ever a time he wanted to sleep, it would be now.

He took off his cloak, draping it over the arm of the couch before he slumped down, taking his sister's place. He pulled the crumpled picture out of his pocket, smoothing it out over his leg before he resumed his staring. He heard a door down the hallway close, but he paid it no mind as he puzzled the blur in his hands.

"It's an ultrasound," Esme said quietly, perching on the arm of the chair adjacent to him. "They use a machine to take a picture of the fetus while it's inside the body. The miracles of modern medicine."

Alec looked at her, bewildered, before he stared back down at the photo with a renewed interest. That blur of black and white was his child? Miracles, indeed. "It doesn't look like much of anything."

"It doesn't look like much in that picture. The updated one has more detail." Esme smiled fondly. "She's gotten more excited recently. She comes in after every ultrasound and announces how big the baby's gotten, most of the time measuring it in fruits."

"And what is it now?" Alec asked curiously.

"A fig. Though Nessie calls it 'Peanut,'" she laughed simply, but Alec grew annoyed though not at her.

"I've never liked that nickname for her," he complained. Esme cocked her head, staring at him curiously.

"Did you call her something else? When the two of you were together?" She said it so casually, like it was perfectly normal, the thought of Renesmee and Alec together. Like the rest of the world didn't wish for them to stay miles away from each other. Alec decided he liked Esme; she was maternal and strong, caring, the kind of woman he wished had been his mother in his human years.

"'Ren,'" he answered. "She always liked it when I called her that, and it seemed to fit her better than 'Nessie.'" He couldn't keep the disgust out of his tone, and it made her laugh.

"Bella didn't like it much at first either. She nearly launched Jacob across the front yard when she heard it. He was the one that came up with it, you know."

"Must explain my distaste for it."

Esme sobered up a bit, her friendly expression faltering. "He's done a lot for her these past few months. I don't know if she would be half as sane as she is now without him - or Demetri, for that matter."

Alec looked away guiltily. "Yes, well, I'll make sure to send Demetri a thank-you card, though I'm not sure Jacob could take much more from me."

"One could argue you took her from him first," she pointed out wisely, and Alec huffed. "They're both doing what they think is right. She wants to make him happy, no doubt thanks to the imprint, and she thinks 'considering' his proposal is the way to do it."

"And Jacob? What's his reasoning?" Alec asked grumpily. It didn't take Jasper for Esme to empathize with the boy. He may have been centuries older than her - and a Volturi guard, no less - but he seemed like nothing more than the young man he was, in that moment. Lost, in over his head, and maybe a little jealous.

"Too much time spent around Edward?" Esme joked. "He loves her, even if not romantically. His heart is in the right place. But they both know she's not going to say yes. Especially not now." Her strange golden eyes sparkled, and Alec knew what she meant. _Not now that you're back in her life._

But what would that mean for the two of them if she said no because of Alec? He couldn't think about that right now.

"But let me tell you this right now," all sense of friendliness was gone, which was a strange look for the otherwise maternal vampire, "if you hurt her again…"

Alec grinned, taking a sick satisfaction in being threatened. Yes, he could see himself growing fond of this Cullen. Carlisle had gotten one thing right, it seemed. "Edward will kill me?"

"We'll all take a turn, starting with Rosalie." And Alec knew she meant it, but he wasn't sure how the pretty blonde was supposed to seem more threatening than Renesmee's father. He figured if Esme was serious, which he assumed she was, he didn't want to find out.

Esme stood up, straightening the magazines on the coffee table like she hadn't just threatened a prominent Volturi guard. She grabbed a stray book off the end table, tucking it away in its proper place on the bookshelf. Alec watched as she continued to straighten the already clean house. After a few minutes, he called out to her. "Esme?"

She looked back at him. "Can you tell me more? About Renesmee and the...the baby?" God, would he ever get used to the idea that he had helped bring a new life into this world?

"If you would like, but Carlisle would be a better person to ask."

He nodded, getting up and quickly walking down the hallway to Carlisle's study. Before he could knock on the door, Carlisle's soft voice called for him to enter. He slowly opened the door, revealing Carlisle's pale figure illuminated by the glow of his computer and Marcus tucked away in a corner, open book in his grasp.

"Alec," the doctor greeted him. "I suppose you have a lot of questions."

* * *

"So have you talked to him?" Rosalie asked from Renesmee's side where she sat propped up by the mountain of pillows on the bed. Her niece lie on her stomach beside her, clicking away on her laptop.

Renesmee rolled her eyes. "You mean since last night when you all heard us yelling at each other and I told him to stay away from me? No. And don't act like you didn't know that." She made a few more angry clicks before she growled. "Stupid Sim, just do what I tell you."

"Well he talked to Esme and Carlisle last night, plus he said some very interesting things to Jane. He seems like he wants to try at least."

"Ugh," the hybrid shrieked, slamming her laptop closed. "Seriously, how does someone set the stove on fire and _die_ trying to make macaroni and cheese?"

Her aunt gave her a dry look, and Renesmee sighed. "Are you seriously on his side right now? He's been a total asshat, and what, you expect me to just welcome him back into my life with open arms?"

"He's a Volturi guard, Ness. Tell me, is that the first time he's been an ass?" Rosalie asked her sarcastically. "Are you prepared to spend the rest of eternity ignoring him when you're bringing his child into the world?"

"I'm prepared to spend the next year, at least," Renesmee argued stubbornly. Rosalie sighed. "You really are on his side right now, aren't you?"

"I'm on your side, baby girl. And God help me, if _he's_ who you want… then I just want you to be happy."

Renesmee could appreciate her aunt's soft-hearted side, where she was concerned at least, but she couldn't take the _Notebook_ -classic "what do you want?!" conversation right now. It might literally drive her insane. "What I want right now is a gallon of chocolate ice cream and a nice glass of blood." She got up, sliding into her slippers and looking back at her aunt. "Coming?"

Rosalie followed her stubborn niece to the kitchen and watched her dig around in the freezer for the last carton of ice cream then rifle through the dishwasher for a clean spoon. Renesmee slammed the ice cream box down on the counter and pried the lid off in half a second before digging out the world's biggest scoop of chocolate goodness and popping it in her mouth. She nearly moaned at the delicious taste, but she settled with closing her eyes in ecstasy.

After she swallowed, she looked at Rosalie cautiously, her heart pounding nervously. "I actually wanted to talk to you about something…"

Rosalie looked at her curiously, waiting for her to continue. "Obviously, we're not going to get the baby baptised or anything, but I was wondering… You're like a second mom to me, Rose, and you have been here for me more than anyone these last couple months. And there is no one I would trust more to watch over the baby should something happen to me, so that is to say… Would you be Peanut's godmother?"

Rosalie's chin quivered reflexively, like she would start crying if she were capable, before she pulled the younger girl into the tightest hug possible, nearly cutting off Renesmee's breathing completely. Renesmee started crying for the both of them, two slow tears tracking down her cheeks before they pulled away, Rosalie remembering her niece's need for oxygen. They both bore identical smiles of happiness, and Rosalie wiped away the tears from Renesmee's face.

"I would be honored," Rosalie whispered happily, squeezing Renesmee's shoulders tightly before releasing her back to her slowly melting ice cream. Rosalie couldn't wait to tell Emmett the good news, so she texted him frantically as Renesmee resumed eating.

Ten minutes - and almost a whole carton of ice cream - later, they heard laughter coming from down the hall. Renesmee glanced at her aunt curiously. "Who's Jake talking to?"

"Sounds like," Rosalie paused for a second, straining to hear who was on the other end of the phone, "Leah. They really are a match made in doggy heaven."

Eyebrows furrowed, Renesmee focused on scooping out the bottom of the ice cream bucket. "Do you think I'm doing the right thing?"

"With Jacob? You know where I stand on that subject."

Renesmee thought more to herself as she glanced around the room, forever aware of eavesdropping ears. She had no idea where most of her family was today, nor the Volturi. "You know I'm going to turn him down."

Rosalie nodded slowly. "Yeah. I've had a feeling since the beginning. Nobody takes this long to consider a marriage proposal."

Renesmee chucked her empty carton in the trash, accidentally throwing the spoon with it. She sighed, reaching in and digging it out before depositing it in the sink and washing her hands. "What will it look like though? That I'm saying no now that he's here? It's gonna look like I'm rejecting Jake for him."

Rosalie nodded, staring at her niece and waiting for her to say something else. When Renesmee didn't, she did. "Aren't you?"

The dhampir girl stared at her for a while before she leaned forward, smacking her forehead against the island countertop. She groaned. "Fuck."

* * *

 **A/N: As always, I am so so so happy that you guys seem to be liking the story. Don't forget to leave your reviews and tell me what you liked/what you hope to see next!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Twilight or its characters. I know, it disappoints me too.**

 **A/N: This chapter is shorter than usual, but I hope you like it as Chapter 12 marks a sort of halfway point/turning point for the rest of the story. More on this at the end!**

* * *

Renesmee paced the hallway outside Jacob's room, waiting for him to get off Facetime with the pack. Video messaging was generally how he handled wolf business while he was in Rio with the Cullens. And when they weren't following Jacob's orders, they were begrudgingly listening to Leah. She really did make a good beta.

 _Or maybe more than that,_ Renesmee thought with a grimace. She twisted the golden ring around her finger, trying to figure out what she would say for the thousandth time. She couldn't bear to hurt him, but she knew she had to do this eventually. He deserved better than some half-assed relationship due to an accidental pregnancy and a magical bond. They both deserved more.

She glanced at her watch, her pace picking up speed. Jacob really needed to get off the phone soon. She needed to do this, and the fewer the witnesses, the better.

Five minutes later, Renesmee heard him hang up the phone and walk to the door. She stopped dead in her tracks as he stuck his head out to look at her. "Okay, what is it? You've nearly paced a hole into the floor."

She gulped, finding it hard to look at him. "Can we talk?"

Jacob furrowed his eyebrows and nodded, letting her into his room. "Are you okay? Here, sit down." He shifted things around in his room, clearing out a desk chair to make space for her, but Renesmee just shook her head.

"I'm not staying, and neither are you." He looked at her in mounting confusion. "Jake, you have to go home."

"Why would I do that? I'm staying. You need me," he protested. Her heart lurched in her chest. No, this wasn't right. And she felt more confident about what she was doing every second.

"You need you. You need yourself to make the right decision here. And that's not marrying me," she explained quietly. She slipped the ring off her finger and gave it back to him, while he just stared...numb. Something fierce pulled in her chest, and grief pooled in the pit of her stomach. It felt wrong to do this to him, but she had to do what was right for the two of them.

Jacob stared down at the ring in his palm, one slow tear streaking down his face. He let out a shaky breath, choking back more tears before he looked at his imprint again. "It's him, right? That's why you're doing this."

"Jacob," she whispered his name sadly. "Even without him in the picture, I couldn't do this to you. You deserve to make your own choices, to be with someone who loves you the way you need. After all this time, Jake… I just want you to be happy." Tears clogged her voice, but she didn't cry. She was tired of crying.

Jacob smiled a watery smile, tucking the ring into his pants pocket. "You know, this isn't how the imprinting thing is supposed to go."

"Well we've never been the average case, Jake. Maybe things were always gonna be different for us."

Jacob nodded, pulling her into a tight hug. His arms wrapped around her shoulders as hers wound around his back. "I love you though, Ness."

She laughed. "I love you too." Okay, maybe she cried a little.

* * *

 _ **Two Days Later**_

As she came out of her bedroom, empty bowl in hand, Renesmee bumped into a figure coming from further down the hallway. She backed up, already spouting an apology, before she realized who it was.

Alec had just come out of the bathroom, his hair still wet from a shower. It looked roughly dried, sticking up in a few places, and it made Renesmee's lips quirk up into a secret smile. She had always loved his hair like that. The sight of it reminded her of simpler times. Times when they didn't walk on eggshells or outright avoid each other. Times when seeing him like that would have made her kiss him until she couldn't breathe.

"Sorry, I didn't see you there," she apologized quickly, stepping away from him before she did something stupid. She turned, trekking to the kitchen, squeezing her eyes shut momentarily as if that would banish dumb thoughts. She definitely did not want to think about how good he looked in that shirt.

He followed her straight to the kitchen. There were so many things he wanted to talk to her about, but he wasn't sure he could. She had told him to stay away, after all, and it had sounded like she meant it.

She put the dirty bowl in the dishwasher and closed it back. Turning around, she startled as she noticed him still standing on the other side of the island, looking like he didn't know if he was allowed to be. Renesmee sighed, glancing around the room for any of their other visitors, but no one was to be found.

"She's not here," he said quietly, in a soft voice unlike his usually confident demeanor. "Jane's been making herself scarce. I don't think she's quite comfortable in your family's house."

"Heard you two got into it the other night," she replied curiously. Rosalie hadn't shared the specifics with her, only told her that it wasn't her place and she shouldn't be the one Renesmee heard it from. Whatever that meant.

"No, not really," Alec denied, leaning against the counter with his hands spread out in front of him. "Just said some things I should have said a long time ago. She didn't take it well though."

Renesmee nodded blandly. An awkward tension hung in the air, something they weren't used to around each other. Usually, the atmosphere was charged, whether with sexual tension or the angry kind. This was new territory, uncomfortable, and she wished she hadn't made it that way.

He looked at her with those crimson eyes that had always turned her into a puddle, and she felt her knees lock up once more. _He still has it,_ she thought weakly. _That's not fair. I'm supposed to be getting over him. He broke my heart._

So why did it still beat harder every time she saw that devilish smirk and those fiery depths?

"Heard you made Rosalie the godmother," Alec pointed out. He didn't sound irritated, just like he was talking about the weather. "She's been bragging to anyone who will listen."

"Are you mad?"

"About what?"

"That I did that." She crossed her arms over her chest, shivering as the air conditioner kicked on again. Or maybe it was the unspoken emotion lurking behind his eyes that turned her blood cold.

He stared at her for a thousand years before he asked, "Do I have any right to be angry?"

Renesmee knew what he was really saying, and she kicked herself again. She had already thoroughly reprimanded herself for her temper tantrum on the balcony, but it seemed punishments just kept coming. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said what I did that night."

"I shouldn't have implied that you had sex with the mu- Jacob. I apologize for that."

She shook her head, stepping closer to the island until she was right across from him. She leaned down, resting her weight on her crossed arms. "That's not even in the same ballpark. I was angry, but that didn't mean I had any right to tell you I don't want you involved."

He looked at her, taking in her sincerity and the weight of the moment. And there it was, back like it had never left - the spark. That tension that was always there when they were in the same vicinity. They could hear it in the racing of her heart, the way his breath caught in his throat. Renesmee could feel it in the coiling in the pit of her stomach. Alec felt it in the space his dead heart should be.

"I've had the past twelve hundred years to get used to the fact that Jane will be the last person on this earth of biological relation to me. The last living member of my family. Never did I imagine this scenario, even when we were together," he confessed. "I do not consider myself father material; I've never had to be. But I would like to try, if you would let me."

Renesmee realized how lucky she was, in that moment, that her baby's father actually wanted to be involved in its life. Many, many women didn't get that luxury, and she really couldn't deny him the opportunity to try. Plus, she realized selfishly, if he was in the baby's life, he was in hers by extension. And that was better than him not being there at all.

She nodded slowly and he let out a sigh of relief. For a moment, he even looked at her the way he used to, back when their relationship was at its peak. Like she had hung the stars in the sky. She didn't know if he was even aware that he was doing it, but she knew he heard as her heart beat its way out of her chest.

* * *

 **A/N: Like I said, short chapter but hang in there. A truce felt like a big enough moment to give it its own chapter. But we're not nearly finished with drama, because our lovers still have some unresolved issues to work out - about their relationship _and_ the baby. **

**Also, I've been compiling my own private Reneslec playlist (songs that remind me of this fic or them in general) and I've been debating either changing chapter titles to song titles so you know what songs I'm rec'ing or making a separate playlist on youtube, but I don't know if you guys would be into that. Drop a review and tell me!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I'm a piece of crap, and I still don't own Twilight or its characters.**

 **A/N: Wow, is anyone still around to read this? Sorry this chapter took weeks to get up, but I was on a well-deserved vacation with my husband. He's back to work now though, so hopefully, I'm back to updating on a regular schedule. ALSO, if anyone was interested, I made the playlist. Bear in mind, not ALL of these songs are for this story. Some of them definitely are, others are for other stories (some I haven't even published yet ;)) and some just give me Reneslec vibes. If you wanna take a listen, you can find it on YouTube - just type 'reneslec' into the search bar! The title has a black heart on one side and a red one on the other. And YES, if you have song suggestions, I will gladly add those to it.**

 **Warning: language, Alec is a horndog/total sweetheart, please do not fact-check me, and also has anyone noticed Renesmee cries a lot? lol**

* * *

"Okay, Ness," Carlisle greeted, walking into his office/makeshift exam room. Alec followed, and he rolled his eyes at the atrocious nickname. Renesmee sat with her bare legs crossed at the edge of the examination bed, a paper drape securing what little bit of modesty she had left. She noticed the dark cloud that lingered around Alec at the sound of her old nickname. He had hated it since they met.

 _"You can call me 'Nessie,'" she had offered with a small smile, her fingers playing with the edge of her short skirt as she perched on the edge of her barstool._

 _He had scoffed, rolling his eyes in uncontained disgust. "I would rather not call you at all."_

 _A secretive smirk had spread across her lips as she leaned closer to him under the glow of the neon lights. "We'll see. By the end of the night, you could be whistling a different tune."_

The start of their liaison had been a true 21st century ordeal: a not-entirely-sober hookup behind a bar. But it was a thing of the past, and she quickly shook herself out of her thoughts. She didn't want to think about that night - or any night they had together, for that matter - when her aunt Rosalie was about to stick medical tools where the sun don't shine.

Carlisle started to run over some basic stuff as he prepped the ultrasound machine. It was more for Alec's benefit than anything else. "So today is the twelve week mark. In a human pregnancy, the fetus would have developed its most vital organs and body parts by now, including sex organs."

At Alec's confused yet anxious look, Renesmee shook her head. "It's still too early for Carlisle to tell us what sex of the baby is though."

"But he will be able to tell us? While you're still carrying?" Alec asked. Even after the extensive conversation the doctor had had with the boy last week, it was still amazing to Alec that modern medicine had advanced that far. It was almost like sorcery.

"Yeah, if we want," she said and shrugged. Renesmee had been looking forward to finding out the baby's sex, but it had just occurred to her that Alec, the ancient soul that he was, might not want to. Maybe he liked the idea of doing it the old way and just waiting.

It took Alec all of two seconds to say yes, that was indeed what he wanted - as long as that was what Renesmee wanted. It was strange to both of them, checking in with each other to get input on every little thing. They hadn't really ever worried about it before, not because they didn't care about what the other had to say but because they had never been in a situation as serious as the one they were now. This was a _baby_ , their baby, and that meant decisions had to be made together.

Which meant they had to stop being so freaking nervous around each other, damn. How could they go from jumping each other's bones in public places months ago to barely being able to look each other in the eye?

One hella messy breakup, that's how.

"Just please, for the love of God, no tacky reveal party," Rosalie begged her niece, breaking the slightly awkward eye contact that had been going on between Renesmee and Alec. She quietly instructed Renesmee to put her feet in the stirrups so that they could get the show on the road.

"What's a reveal party?" Alec asked, trying to concentrate on the conversation and not the fact that Renesmee was currently in a very compromising position - a position he himself had put her in lots of times. _Many, many incredible… Okay, stop. Think with your head._

"It's a fad that the humans are into these days. They throw really elaborate parties and invite everyone they know so they can reveal what their baby is, usually with ball- _oons_ ," Renesmee hissed as Rosalie inserted the ultrasound wand, catching her off guard, "or colored smoke or something. Jesus Christ, that's cold."

 _Huh, she used to able to handle cold things._

"Sorry, the warmer isn't working properly," Carlisle explained apologetically. He kept the screen turned away from the rest of them as he took measurements and checked out the growing fetus, but he kept talking. "How have you been feeling, Ness? Any difference in symptoms, anything new?"

As Alec stared at her like she was making a speech to Congress, Renesmee just looked up at the ceiling, trying to think if anything was different this week than last. "My morning sickness is going away, I think. And I don't feel as tired anymore, but my stomach is kind of sore lately. Is that normal?"

"It shouldn't be anything to worry about. Your uterus is expanding to accommodate the baby, not to mention the way your body is having to stretch itself in a way that it's not used to anymore. We'll keep an eye on it though. Anything else?"

"Not that I've noticed, no." She shook her head, and Carlisle looked back at the screen to take the last measurements before he turned the screen around.

Once, on a mission, Alec and the others had stopped on top of a tall mountain just as the sun set on the horizon. Its orange hue had lit up everything around them - the trees, the village, his sister's golden hair - and even Alec hadn't been impervious to the beauty of such a sight. He had sworn it was the most spectacular thing he had ever seen; then, one day, Renesmee had fallen asleep in his arms, and that sight had replaced it. But, as sad as it was for him to think, even Renesmee couldn't hold a candle to the sight of his child on that ultrasound screen.

The child he had a hand in creating, all there in black and white. Without even thinking, Alec reached out for the first thing he could get his hands on, as if holding onto something would ground him to the moment forever. That thing just so happened to be Renesmee's hand, and she squeezed his tight as they watched the life they formed on that small computer.

"Look, he's waving," Rosalie cooed, beaming up at the screen too. And upon closer inspection, they could tell the baby was moving his or her hand around, almost like it was trying to say hello.

"Its reflexes are developing now, so you might be able to see it move more if you poke your stomach," Carlisle suggested. Renesmee did just that, and sure enough, the baby moved, wiggling itself away from her finger. She giggled, glancing up at Alec and then quickly away when she saw he was already smiling down at her, one of those beaming white smiles he saved for rare occasions. Her heart thumped a little faster at the sight of it.

"Wait, do you hear that?" Carlisle asked, interrupting the moment. "Rosalie, move the wand a little further up." Rosalie did so gently, apologetically looking at her niece when she winced. It was mildly uncomfortable, and Renesmee squeezed Alec's hand again.

Then, one tiny wooshing sound came from the machine, followed by another after about twenty seconds. Carlisle smiled at the concerned-looking parents-to-be and quickly explained, "The heartbeat. It's been so slow and quiet, it's nearly imperceptible over the sound of yours, Renesmee."

A heartbeat. Not only did Peanut have rapidly developing organs and know how to wave and look like a real baby, but he/she had a _heartbeat_ now. Just the thought of it made Renesmee's eyes clot up with tears, happy ones this time.

"Score: science, one, vampirism, zero." She gave a watery laugh as she joked to her aunt, recalling the jest Rosalie had said - that one of them would pick it up before a machine would.

Alec had no idea what she was talking about, but it didn't matter. He just kept looking between the screen and Renesmee's face as she listened to their child's heartbeat. He slowly intertwined their fingers and had to refrain himself from kissing her like he had been wanting to do pretty much since he set foot on this island. Instead, he placed a chaste - _totally friendly_ \- kiss on her forehead and leaned back before he could do anything else. Renesmee didn't even flinch like he thought she might.

It occurred to him that he was one lucky son of a bitch. He had thought he had checked any semblance of a normal life at the door to immortality. He had thought he had lost this girl - _for her own good, remember?_ \- and a piece of himself when he had wrecked both of their hearts in May. And though he still stood by the statement that Renesmee deserved something better than the lot he had given her, he would be remiss if he didn't acknowledge, completely selfishly, that he was grateful as hell to be where he was.

In no way did he expect her to forgive him for walking out that door, but her letting him stand by her side now was more than he could ask for. Even if they were never together in that way again, they had this, and this was enough.

It had to be enough.

* * *

Alec carefully squeezed the freshly printed ultrasound picture into his wallet, right beside the first one Renesmee had given him, though he took extra care to make sure this one didn't get crumpled up.

He took a seat on the couch in the living room as he listened to Renesmee talk to Alice and Esme. They had all but tackled her when she came out of Carlisle's office, no doubt eavesdropping through the whole thing. They were currently huddled around the tiny picture in Renesmee's hand as they talked about the baby.

"So how big is Baby P today?" Alice asked excitedly. She barely even noticed her husband in the same room as her now that her attention was on Renesmee.

"Peanut is now the size of a plum. My app told me this morning."

Alec shook his head at the women, but even he couldn't keep the grin off his face. Today was too good to have to worry about poker faces, even around his sister who had now made herself comfortable in an armchair a few feet away. She wasn't paying him any mind, but he knew she knew he was there just from the way she buried her nose in the book she was reading. He knew her like the back of his hand. But at least she was sitting near him now. They were making progress, it seemed.

Renesmee plopped down on the loveseat beside him, releasing a dreamy sigh as she sat the picture carefully on the table. She looked at him with sincerity in her big brown eyes as she crossed her legs on the seat. "Thank you for coming today."

"Of course," Alec replied at once. "I was happy to be there." He smiled at her appreciatively, and she blushed. He always liked getting that visual reaction out of her when he did that, because it always confused him. He didn't think his smile was something to get worked up about, but she had explained to him once that it was special because he rarely ever did it and it made her feel good that it was her it was directed towards. Alec had responded in kind, saying if she kept blushing like that, he'd do it much more often.

"Please stop staring at each other like that. I may vomit," Jane complained, turning the page in her book without looking up.

Alec rolled his eyes at her, making the girl on his right giggle. "Are your appointments always that… eventful?"

She laughed, shaking her head. "Never. It's been hard to get Peanut to do anything at the previous ones, but it could be because I'm further along now. I don't know, maybe she just likes you."

Oh, Alec hoped that was the case, but there was another thing he got hung up on instead. "She?"

Renesmee smiled, patting her nearly invisible baby bump. But she was starting to show a bit, Alec noted with delight. Her usually flat stomach was poking out just the slightest, swelling with the child he had helped her conceive. Was that supposed to turn him on as much as it did?

 _Man, I have problems._

"When I think about the baby, it's always a girl. I don't know… My mom said she thought she was having a boy when she was having me, so I'm probably wrong. But I don't really care either way," she rambled on. "Well, I kinda do hope it's a girl because I've already picked out a name." She admitted the fact apologetically, like he would be mad about it. But he couldn't be mad at her, not today.

"What name?"

"'Charlotte Elizabeth,'" she said confidently. It did have a certain ring to it, he supposed. "Both things my mother probably should have named me, but she was high the whole pregnancy so…"

"Why those two?" He asked curiously. She turned her body to face him more, her elbow resting on the back of the couch and her knee grazing his thigh. He tried to pretend the touch meant nothing, but after his impure thoughts in Carlisle's office and looking at her bump, that was easier said than done. He was a livewire were she was concerned.

"Elizabeth was my grandmother's name, my paternal grandmother. And Charlotte after my grandfather Charlie. He, uh…" She looked down at her lap, picking at a loose string on her sweatpants. "He died back in July."

 _Right after I broke her heart and right before she learned she was pregnant. God, how is she holding herself together?_ If Alec hadn't already felt like shit over the situation, he did now. She had been put through the ringer, all in a span of four months. He grabbed the hand that was playing with her pants so she would look at him. "I think it's a great name."

She gave him a small grin, which he returned. Jane made a small noise of disgust in the back of her throat, and Alec turned his head infinitely slowly to glare at her. Renesmee just giggled and slapped his arm. It almost felt nice, the three of them sitting together as they discussed the baby, even if all Jane was doing was making bitter comments the whole time. At least she wasn't hiding away somewhere plotting their demise.

"What about boy names? I picked the girl name, so it's only fair if you pick the boy name."

Alec completely blanked. Was there any name that meant as much to him as 'Charlotte Elizabeth' meant to her? Maybe one… "I like 'Henry.'" Jane made a huffing noise, and he shook his head, not even casting her a glance.

Renesmee nodded her head, mulling it over. "Any particular reason?"

Jane muttered a tiny, 'here we go,' as Alec began talking. "He was the tracker in the Volturi's service before we acquired Demetri. He was a good friend, I grew to admire him a lot. He was...disposed of once Demetri came along. Jane's just bitter because when Henry was around, he took some of my attention away from her."

He may or may not have also broken part of Jane's doll collection, a collection that had been replenished over the years and had only grown exponentially larger once Alec had started seeing Renesmee. And it wasn't as if Henry had gone unpunished for the act either. After all, Jane was still one of the most powerful vampires in the world and he was now a pile of ashes somewhere in the castle dungeon.

Renesmee tried to smother her laugh at Jane's expense. "'Henry…' I like it. Henry or Charlotte Elizabeth...Cullen?"

Alec gave her a dry look, his piercing red eyes saying 'seriously? Hell no.'

"Well, it's not like the last name is gonna be 'Volturi.' Hello, can you say 'target?'" She made sense, but something about the child not sharing a common name with him didn't sit well with Alec. Call him old-fashioned…

"Coortan," Jane said, flipping another page. Her voice was sharp, like she really couldn't bother herself with the conversation. She didn't even look up from the page but for a moment to meet Alec's shocked gaze.

The name struck a chord in Alec, like a sense of deja vu, a memory so far lost it could only be regained through hypnosis. Coortan, his and Jane's human surname. He hadn't heard it in conversation in centuries. He barely remembered he had a human name until Jane said it. Renesmee looked just as shocked as he felt.

"I like it. It certainly fits better than Cullen, or Volturi for that matter."

"Nessie," Alice flitted up faster than the human eye could see, a book of color samples and patterns in her hands. _That blasted nickname again._ Alec's jaw tightened. "I need your opinion on a theme for Peanut's room."

"Woah, what's this about Peanut's room?" Renesmee asked, laughing at her aunt's bouncing figure. She carefully took the book out of Alice's hands. "Since when are we going ahead with this?"

"Well, Jacob's gone back to Washington now, so Esme and I just figured we could turn his room into the nursery! It's the only vacant room in the house right now, so… Now do you like the jungle theme, or should we go with the ocean? But then, we're surrounded by both in this house, so maybe we should choose something different. What about a travel theme, in honor of how you and Alec met?" Alice chattered on a mile a minute, but Alec heard none of it after that. It felt like a bucket of ice water had been poured down his back or like the time Felix had 'accidentally' torn his arm off during training.

A nursery, in the Cullen house, on Isle Esme, in _Brazil_. As in _South America_. As in 5,000 miles and half a world away from where he lived _in Italy!_ It suddenly struck him how far away his home was from where his child would be living, with its mother and without him. He couldn't be here all the time, but that didn't mean he didn't want to see the baby! He wanted to be there, to help Renesmee and to raise their child, the child he never thought he could have.

He hardly noticed Renesmee register his expression and hand the book back to Alice or when Alice and his sister both decided to leave the room - characteristic for Alice but definitely _un_ characteristic thoughtfulness from Jane. Renesmee slowly sat back down, pulling her legs up to her chest.

"You okay?" she asked in a small voice.

"How are we supposed to do this?" Alec asked, his voice sounding far away and way too stressed.

Renesmee shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know… I never really thought about it until now."

"I live around the world, Ren." It was the first time he'd called her by her nickname since before he walked out on her, and he couldn't help but notice her flinch.

"I know that, but it's not like we can go to vampire court over custody of our three-quarters vampire baby," she snapped.

"So what? I only get to see them on birthdays or holidays? Or worse, once a century? I can't do that, Renesmee, I won't."

"So you won't have to! We'll figure it out, we've got time." She wrapped her arms around herself, and Alec sighed, running a hand through his hair.

Time, yes, time they had. And thank God for that, because the list of things they had to figure out was getting exponentially larger.


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight/its characters NOR do I own The Lux Series/its characters, but man, do I love to talk about them.**

 **A/N: Wow, this is only a day late. Hallelujah! Also, this chapter was going to be super long so I went ahead and split it up. Thank me later.**

 **Warning: sexual tension, Alec knows exactly what he's doing**

* * *

People hate jury duty, it's a proven fact. They get their summons in the mail, and they groan and shake their heads. Selection time comes and they try to think of every way possible to not be chosen. Renesmee didn't see the problem; there were worse things in the world than that. Root canals, rush hour traffic, biting into a chocolate chip cookie only to find out it's oatmeal raisin. Still, she would've taken anything over _this._

 _ **One Hour Earlier…**_

"You're leaving. As in...leaving," she said, leaning against the arm of the couch so her legs didn't collapse out from under her. She had been feeling odd all day, like she was two seconds shy of passing out, but this just made it worse. She was having wicked flashbacks to May, back when he had…

 _This is not the same thing,_ she shook her head to clear her thoughts. They weren't together anymore, hadn't been for a long time. She had no reason to feel like the rug had just been pulled out from under her, yet here she was, knocked flat on her ass by his news.

Alec nodded grimly. "Marcus informed Aro of our...relationship, and he has plenty of questions. I have to go back some time, but Aro is pressing for it to be soon."

"You've only been here for a couple of weeks. We were just starting to figure things out!" Renesmee protested, but she knew there was no use. What Aro wanted, Alec had to comply with. _Ever the perfect guard._

After their little spat after her last ultrasound, they had both used time to get some distance and clear their heads. And once they were ready to sit down and talk like reasonable adults instead of lashing out - _what do you know!_ \- they actually figured something out.

It was going to take time and patience and no shortage of money, but they had finally made a decision about co-parenting. For a while, it would be a lot of back-and-forth. Renesmee would keep the baby in Rio for half the year, and Alec could visit whenever he wanted (see: whenever Aro told him it was acceptable). And for the other half of the year, Renesmee and the baby would come to Volterra. She didn't particularly want the baby in that kind of environment, but Alec had agreed to help her find a small apartment they could rent out close enough to his home. Then, perhaps when Peanut got old enough, Renesmee wouldn't even need to tag along anymore, and it could just be Alec and the child.

Neither of them liked that part much, but they weren't too keen to jump right into another argument.

They still weren't sure how Jane fit into the picture, but they would cross that bridge when they got to it. Alec was sure his sister would come around eventually, maybe some time in the next decade. And while she hadn't been overly hostile toward Renesmee recently, she also hadn't been overwhelmingly friendly; however, Renesmee would swear on her dying breath she had seen Jane staring at the picture on the refrigerator one day, the barest hint of a smirk on her face. Jane was very much still a work-in-progress.

But now it seemed all progress had ceased completely. How were they supposed to handle the rest of her pregnancy _together_ if they weren't even on the same continent?

"We can still figure things out. It's not like all contact is being cut off," he said vehemently. She could see it in his eyes, him begging her to stop being so stubborn. He didn't like leaving at a time like this any more than she did, but he couldn't just say no.

"You don't exactly have a cell phone. How would you like me to get messages to you, carrier pigeon?" She crossed her arms in defiance and he sighed.

"I can get a phone, Renesmee. I'm sure it's not hard."

The voice of reason, aka Alice, piped up from the kitchen where she had been "minding her own business" as she picked designs for the nursery. After much deliberation, they had decided to go with an adventure theme with maps and planes and old suitcases."Why don't you just go with him?"

Renesmee floundered as she stared at Alice and then Alec. "I-I don't think I should…"

"I don't see why you shouldn't," Alice chirped, still not looking up. "We can handle things here for a while."

Alec nodded his head. "It would make sense. We should get things settled there as well before the baby is born." Renesmee sighed reluctantly and nodded her head. "Well, I will go tell Marcus. You should pack."

So, there she was, an hour later, huffing and puffing as she threw clothes haphazardly into her suitcase. How had she allowed herself to be roped into this? She hadn't even put up a fight! She didn't want to go to Italy! She definitely didn't want to see Aro, especially now that His Creepiness was sure to take a much more personal interest in her and Peanut now that he knew. God, she could only hope this baby came out exceedingly average, but with Alec as the father, that wasn't likely. He was the most highly gifted vampire in the world, for crying out loud! Why couldn't she have picked a normal baby daddy?

The baby hadn't shown any sign of being gifted so far, but that didn't mean things wouldn't manifest later or once they were born. She couldn't help but wonder if Peanut would have a power, and if so, what? Would he/she be more or less powerful than Alec? She couldn't imagine the storm that would brew if the child was _more_ powerful than its father. Aro would want them for sure, and that wasn't happening. Over. Her. Dead. Body.

A light knock sounded from her open bedroom door, and she huffed out a breath, blowing a few stray hairs out of her face. "You ready?"

Renesmee turned around to tell him she would be ready when she was ready and to get out, but she stopped at the look on his face. His garnet-colored eyes cut through her skin, chilling her bones as he watched her with a smirk on his face. He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned confidently against the doorframe, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth. Her breath hitched. No, that was The Look. He wasn't allowed to give her The Look.

"Why are you staring at me like that?"

"I'm just remembering how devastating you are," he chuckled, "to a room that is. It looks like a hurricane just came through here." Alec picked up the book on her nightstand, turning it over in his hand to read the synopsis. He quirked an eyebrow at her in amusement.

"Aliens? Really?" Renesmee growled and pounced at him to get the book back before he snatched it away, holding it above his head so she couldn't reach. Then he began to read the cover aloud, much to her chagrin, "'There's an alien next door. And with his looming height and eerie green eyes, he's hot...until he opens his mouth.'"

With a ferocious growl, Renesmee jumped higher, effectively grabbing the book. Her body pressed up against his as she struggled to yank it out of his grasp. She tried to ignore the way fire coursed through her body at every point they met. The drastic variations in their temperatures sent tingles from the top of her spine to her toes. And with one last tug, Alec released the book to her, breaking the connection as she took a step back. He stared down at her, and she knew she was still too close, but she couldn't back away.

"'He's infuriating. Arrogant. Stab-worthy,'" Renesmee finished the summary from memory. She laughed bitterly. "Sounds like someone else I know." She set the book back on the table, the first to break eye contact.

She turned to finish packing her suitcase, but he grabbed her arm. "Is that why you're reading it? He reminds you of me?" There was a smile in his eyes but not on his lips. He stared at her like he really did need the answer, like his very sanity rested on it.

"In some ways," she gulped. "He's cocky, arrogant. He's the most powerful of his species. He does whatever he can to protect those he cares about."

"But?" Alec urged, wanting to hear the catch-all and dreading it at the same time.

 _Don't say it. Don't do it. Stop talking._ Despite the angel on her shoulder telling her to stop, the devil on her right spurred her on. Impulse control, not her strongest suit.

"He actually wants the girl that wants him."

Alec dropped her arm, guilt-stricken, at the same time Renesmee stepped away. She quickly zipped up her suitcase, avoiding eye contact as she scooted past him. "Come on, we have to get going."

* * *

"I still don't think you should go," Bella said, pulling back from giving Renesmee her third hug. "You should be here so Carlisle can keep an eye on you."

"Carlisle said I should be fine. Peanut is developing like she should, so we don't have anything to worry about. Plus, he said he'll come check on me once I'm further into the second trimester. I'll be fine, Mom," Renesmee soothed her mother and patted her on the arm.

Her father gave her a quick kiss on top of the head before Esme wrapped her up in her arms. "Don't forget to call. Be safe."

She kept going down the assembly line that was her family, getting wrapped up in hugs and devoured with forehead kisses before she could finally step back and breathe again. The only person she hadn't said goodbye to yet was Carlisle, and that was because he was taking them to the airport.

Renesmee grabbed her rolling suitcase and met Alec at the door. "Oh, Alice, Esme! If you need any help making decisions about the nursery, just text me, okay?" They nodded at her compliantly, but they all knew that was not going to be necessary. Between Esme and Alice, they had the nursery covered. Renesmee just shook her head and smiled.

"They really love you," Alec commented during their stroll down the dock. His hands were empty, his suitcase already stowed away on the boat. He had been more than willing to take Renesmee's suitcase but she had refused.

She squinted against the setting sun, too far out of reach to do any damage but blinding nonetheless. She quickly pulled her sunglasses off her head, slipping them over her eyes. "I know, I love them too. That's why this has been so hard. I know they're worried, but I also know some of them are disappointed in me. I never wanted to disappoint them, I just wanted to… I don't know..."

"Yes you do."

"I just wanted to make my own choices. To be myself. I didn't want to compromise who I was to be who they wanted me to be."

Whoo, she had been way too honest today, but honestly? She kind of liked it. She couldn't count on both hands how many things she had lied about or kept secret lately. Renesmee hated keeping secrets, that's why she wore her heart on her sleeve. Was it dangerous? Yes. But it was so much easier if people could tell how she was feeling without having to spell it out. So she cried a little bit too much - even before pregnancy hormones - or laughed too loud or loved too often and in the wrong places. It was better than shutting down, shutting people out like some did - like _Alec_ did.

Not that Alec didn't have his reasons. He had more reasons to be angry and closed off than anyone she'd ever met. But that didn't mean it didn't hurt to be on the receiving end of such treatment, especially after all the progress they had made together.

 _God, I need to get over this. Every moment with him is like reliving our relationship with 20 times more angst and none of the sex. I just want to start over!_ Yes, that's what she needed. A redo, a nice, fresh start with someone without so much baggage. Someone who had never broken her heart. But that was a lot easier said than done, especially with a baby on the way and an ex-lover that looked as good as he did.

 _One day, I'll get over him. Today's just not that day._

* * *

 _ **Volterra, Italy**_

 _ **The Next Day**_

The flight - the _private_ flight - was longer than Renesmee had hoped, but as the only passenger aboard that could sleep, she took full advantage of that position. She had only woken when Alec had tapped her on the nose to tell her they had touched down at an airfield just outside Volterra. From there, they took a chauffeured car back to Volterra.

The city itself was all Renesmee had ever thought it would be. Surrounded by walls, Volterra sat up on a hill, picturesque in the daytime. As they drove through the city, she took in the cobbled streets and the beautiful stonework of the buildings. She could practically feel the history pulsing in the earth they now drove across.

Alec began to whisper the history of his magnificent home in her ear. Every so often, his cool breath would hit her neck and make her heart beat just the slightest bit faster. The scent of his subtle cologne did wicked things to her brain. He was definitely wearing the one she had bought him in Stockholm.

He leaned into her to whisper another tidbit - _god, he could be the world's dirtiest tour guide_ \- just as the car took a sharp curve, causing him to slide closer. His lips ghosted the shell of her ear, her breath catching in her throat and her cheeks flushing with heat. A knot started somewhere low in her stomach.

 _Over him, Renesmee! Get over him, not under him!_ She slowly pressed her thighs closer together as she chastised herself. Even if he hadn't done it on purpose, he had now put her poor, hormonal mind completely into the gutter.

Jane cleared her throat, her seat now empty. It wasn't until then that Renesmee noticed the car was almost totally dark and still. "If the two of you would care to get out of the car, we're finally here."

Alec moved as if he had to force himself away from her, though the heat in his gaze was not foreign to her. He had given her that same look many, many times before. It was the look he got when he was thirsty, and not in the nutritional sense.

It took Renesmee longer to get out of the car, mainly trying to calm her breathing and control everything south of her personal equator. By the time she got out of the car, Alec had both of their suitcases in hand. She tried to take her own, but he quickly wheeled it behind his body and out of her reach. She rolled her eyes good-naturedly and followed him as he turned to lead her deeper into the dark.

"Where are we?"

"Underground parking garage. The chauffeurs park down here, because it's usually too bright for us to go topside." Alec stopped in front of an unmarked elevator that looked like it hadn't been used since the Reagan administration. Renesmee was a little terrified to even set foot in it. Alec chuckled at her fearful expression as the elevator came to their level. "It's not going to break down if that's what you're afraid of. Not unless Felix has sabotaged it again."

"What?" she squeaked, one foot behind her like she was about to turn tail and run. He just laughed at her again.

"He hasn't done that in a long time. Come on," he persuaded, already stepping through the doors. She took one shaky step in and let out a sigh of relief as the floor remained in tact under her feet.

As the doors closed behind her, Renesmee asked nervously, "How long is a 'long time?'"

"Six months."

She squeaked again, nerves mounting as he kept chuckling at his own joke. She had never been trapped in an elevator before, and she didn't want to start now.

Though the elevator ride wasn't the smoothest she had ever taken, it came to a stop soon enough. And when the doors slid open again, she let out a breath at the scene before her.

Renesmee Cullen was officially in Volturi territory.

* * *

 **A/N: As always, please review! Your reviews are what gives me the motivation to keep going!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: Peeps, I don't own Twilight. Never have, never will.**

 **A/N: HO-LY CRAP. You guys better thank my husband, because without him taking away my phone, this chapter wouldn't have been up tonight, nor would it have been this long.**

 **Warning: language, mentions of human-baiting, arguing, and how did this Demetri/Renesmee work its way into my story _again?_**

* * *

As she stepped out of the rickety elevator, Renesmee took in as much of her dark surroundings as possible. The walls of the interior weren't the warm yellow of the outside; instead, they were a dark grey, almost black, and they trapped the air inside, making the corridor ten degrees cooler than it was outside. The only light coming in was from small lanterns placed every few feet on the walls. There were no decorations, no windows, only a staircase at the end that looked like it led farther up into the building. She could only hope the rest of the place didn't look so haunting and sinister.

Almost as if appearing out of thin air, Felix flashed down the hallway, pulling her into a bone-crushing hug as her feet came clear off the floor. Demetri wasn't too far behind, a small smirk on his face and hands tucked behind him.

"Little Cullen!" Felix squeezed her tighter, perhaps even tighter than Emmett had ever hugged her. "I didn't expect to miss you as much as I have! Finally, there's someone in this place who will laugh at my jokes."

"Woah, hey there, big guy. I missed you too. Maybe you could let me down though, huh?" Renesmee laughed as he swung her around like a ragdoll before finally setting her back on her feet. "Demetri," she greeted the quieter guard.

He gave her a tiny smile. "Renesmee… You're absolutely glowing. Pregnancy is a good look on you." He stepped closer to her, going for a tentative hug that didn't match his usually confident demeanor. Renesmee met him halfway, wrapping her arms around his back as his slid around her shoulders.

It may have lasted a beat too long, because Alec cleared his throat and quirked an eyebrow when Renesmee looked back at him. "Are you two done here?"

She stepped back and rolled her eyes at his jealous behavior. Forcefully, she removed his hand from its grip on her suitcase and strolled off down the hall, ignoring him at all costs. Where did he come off? One second he was breaking her heart and the next he was swooping back in, trying to be a good dad and seduce the pants off her, and now he wanted to act jealous because of _Demetri,_ of all people. Alec seriously needed to get a grip and make up his mind before she did something she'd regret, like castrate him.

Felix caught up to her easily, leaving the other two to lag behind. "So you and Alec, huh? I never would have pieced that one together. I honestly thought Aro was going to stroke out when the news got to him."

Renesmee groaned as she stepped up on the stone staircase, not bothering to close the handle to her suitcase and carry it like a civilized being. It hit every step on the way up. "So I take it everyone knows?"

"Of course they do. Good news travels fast in a place like this."

"Good news?"

"Well, yeah. I think Aro is hoping-" Demetri cut him off with a slap to the back of his head. Felix turned around to glare at him, but Demetri just stared.

"Let them talk to Aro first, you big-mouthed buffoon. Honestly." Demetri shook his head, and the rest of them kept walking in an uncomfortable, if not altogether tense, silence. Renesmee had a feeling she knew what Felix had been about to say, but she hoped she was wrong. "He's waiting for the two of you in the throne room. I can take your bags, if you would like?"

Renesmee smiled, handing her suitcase over voluntarily and Alec surrendered his as well. Demetri disappeared down a hallway to their right, but Felix stayed with them as they continued down the long hall. "Felix, you do know I remember my way to the throne room quite well, don't you?"

"Right," he nodded. "Guess I just wanted to see the drama for myself. Oh well, I guess I will leave you to it. Until later, _topolina_." He ruffled Renesmee's hair and took off the opposite way they were walking, turning the same direction as Demetri.

"Nosy git," Alec cursed him under his breath.

"What does that mean? What Felix just called me?" Renesmee asked curiously. It had sounded like a term of endearment, especially coupled with him messing up her hair, but she couldn't be sure.

" _Topolina?_ " A shiver went down her spine at the sound of the name rolling off Alec's tongue. What was it about foreign languages that sounded so sexy, no matter the context? "It means 'little mouse.' Felix is always teasing people that are shorter than him, which happens to be everyone in this blasted castle."

Renesmee huffed. "We can't all be six-six with arms the size of tree trunks."

"Still," Alec said, holding open the door for her. "There are worse things he could have called you. Mostly things Jane says when she thinks no one is listening."

Renesmee sighed heavily as she stepped into the empty throne room. It was as lavish as she had imagined, with marble floors and large Grecian columns. Aro was nowhere to be seen. "I'm going to have to talk to her one of these days, woman-to-woman."

The door shut behind Alec with a resounding thud. "Uh, I'm not sure that's the smartest idea. My sister can be...protective."

"You don't say?" Her eyes widened comically. "I think 'territorial' was the word you were looking for, by the way. And obviously she's not the only twin that got that trait."

He narrowed his eyes at her. "What do you mean?"

"Oh, _come on_ ," her eyes nearly rolled into the back of her head. "'Are you two done here?'" Renesmee did a poor imitation of his voice and then stared him down with a vicious glare. "You acted like Demetri and I were about to run off and make sweet, passionate love. It was a friendly hug, and you acted like it was a marriage proposal."

"Don't forget, Renesmee, I've been around Demetri much longer than you have. He doesn't do 'friendly' hugs. He does flirtation, seduction, manipulation."

"Well then he must fit right into the boys' club around here," she snapped at him just as Aro came in from an unseen entrance in the back of the room. It was clear by the entranced, slightly shocked expression on his face that he had been eavesdropping on the entire conversation, but then, Renesmee was sure he probably wasn't the only one. They'd be lucky if Felix didn't have his ear pressed to the throne room door right now.

"Ah, Renesmee… Trouble in paradise?" Aro asked in a concerned manner that did nothing but irritate her further. "My dear friend Carlisle did mention to me that stress is not good for a growing child. Perhaps you should go upstairs and relax?"

"This child has known nothing but stress since its conception, Aro. I'm sure Peanut's used to it by now." He nodded at her sympathetically, laying a cold hand on her shoulder that she tried not shake off. She took a deep breath in through her nose to calm her nerves as he moved on to the boy beside her.

Aro clapped his hands together in front of his mouth, trying to hide the growing smile unsuccessfully. Renesmee felt her palms tingle with the urge to smack another person for the first serious time in her life. " _Tesoro_. My dear Alec. I have many things I wish to discuss with you. But first, may I?" He outstretched one bare hand.

Alec stared at it for an eternity before he nodded, relinquishing his hand and his thoughts. Aro only held his hand for a couple of seconds, but that was all it took. He let it drop without a sound. "Master?"

"So many things to discuss… But first, congratulations." A giddy smile filled his face, and Renesmee's stomach dropped. Bad things followed that look, and she didn't want to hear the words that were about to come out of his mouth but that didn't stop them. "Our coven has not grown in some time. I am quite pleased."

Alec looked at her in remorse as Aro went off on a tangent, but Renesmee couldn't look at him. She stared off into the distance, eyes burning and bile rising in her throat. The second-worst thing that could happen - in her mind - was happening. Aro wanted their child to join the guard. Of-fucking-course. And what was worse, he was acting like it was all _his_ idea. Her hands shook and she tried to keep her mouth shut for fear of what might come out.

"I do believe this is a cause for celebration. Maybe we should throw a party, in the child's honor! I will have Sulpicia and Athenodora plan the entire thing. They will spare no expense. What do you think?" He looked at them expectantly, but Renesmee couldn't focus on a word he had just said as her hand clenched a fist in the shirt covering her miniscule baby bump. The world began spinning, or was that her head? Her ears rang as she tried to focus on taking deep breaths.

In, out. In, out. In, out.

She didn't know if she was trying not to faint or trying not to strike him at this point, but it didn't matter. Her legs shook in her struggle to hold herself upright.

"Master, I think perhaps Renesmee should lie down. Can we discuss this later?" Alec asked, reaching one steady hand out to grab her elbow.

"Of course, of course. Oh, before you go… Renata," he beckoned his personal guard, and she too came out of the hidden room behind the thrones. She carried a small wooden box, just big enough to fit in the palms of both her hands. "A welcome home present, for you and the child."

Renata handed the box to Renesmee, and with one shaking hand, she managed to pry open the clasp and the lid. Inside, nestled on a cushion of red velvet, were two necklaces. One was a minimalist gold chain with a single diamond pendant in the center. The other was a smaller gold chain with a tiny V emblem hanging off of it, with one ruby on the top and a smaller one on the bottom. It was the Volturi crest, scaled down to fit a child.

She closed the wooden box with a thundering snap, not bothering with a "thank you" as she fled the throne room through the double doors behind her. Any pleasantries over this would be one-hundred-percent fake on her side. She heard Alec mutter an excuse, but it was insignificant. She wanted to find the nearest working bathroom and flush both necklaces down the toilet. Maybe Felix had a hammer. Or maybe, if push comes to shove, she could just ask him to crush them into dust beneath his shoe. He could do that, couldn't he? He was exceptionally strong.

"Renesmee, stop," Alec pleaded with her. He had no problem keeping up with her ridiculously fast pace as she strode down the corridor to God-knows-where. She had never been here, and she hadn't really paid attention on the way in, but she would find her way out eventually. There were only so many doors in this castle, and at least one of them led outside. "You're going to get lost. At least let me show you where to go."

"Can you show me how to get out of here?" she snapped. She hadn't meant to metaphorically bite his head off, but she couldn't stop herself. She had almost reached her boiling point, and she could only wait so long before she flipped her lid.

"Don't be hasty. You just need a place to sit and think. Just… come with me. Please." It was enough begging to get her to stop, if only momentarily. She gave a rough nod and followed him as he turned down a hall to their left, leading her to a steep stairwell and into another, more brightly lit hallway. The place was a labyrinth, but she was sure it was designed that way on purpose. It would make it harder for any stray victims to get away.

 _God, ten minutes here and they already have me thinking like them. That's what this place does to people._ She didn't want her child in a place like this.

As they followed the twisting halls, they came across a large group of people being led by an insanely attractive vampire with violet eyes. _The fisher woman._

"Good afternoon, Heidi," Alec greeted the beautiful woman. She gave him an easy smile, never breaking her stride. Renesmee watched in horror as most of the tour group stared at the woman almost as if in a trance because of her beauty. She could probably ask them to walk off a cliff and they wouldn't have batted an eye. In a way, she kind of was; they just didn't know it yet.

"Alec," she replied in a silky smooth voice. "Little Cullen. Will the two of you be joining us today?"

It took Renesmee a moment to realize she was talking to her. She gave a jerky shake of her head, averting her eyes from the large group of tourists. The faces of the elderly and children would surely haunt her dreams for weeks to come. The very thought of killing one of those playful kids or kind old people made her sick. Her vampire instincts might have called for their blood, but her human instincts told her it was wrong to kill those so innocent or wise.

"I will be there shortly. I'm just showing Renesmee to my chambers." Her head jerked up at this admission. _His_ chambers? She was going to be staying in his room? His honest-to-God bedroom? This was going to be like pouring gasoline on a fire.

The tour group kept walking past them, and after one more right turn, Alec brought Renesmee to a hallway lined with doors on both sides. There were only four doors on each side, and the end of the hall was a dead stop.

"Who all stays down this hall?" Renesmee asked nervously. She didn't want it to be someone who would be openly antagonistic towards her, but where Alec was…

"All of the higher-ranking guards have quarters down this corridor. Guards of lower rank stay in the other wing of the castle." He opened the second door on the left, his hand effortlessly finding a light switch on the wall and flicking it on.

Renesmee was still staring at the unmarked doors, chewing on her bottom lip. "Who is considered 'high-ranking?'"

Alec leaned against his doorframe, arms crossed in front of his chest. He looked at ease to finally be back on his own turf. Renesmee couldn't help but think he looked just as much a piece of the scene as the walls surrounding them.

He pointed at the doors on his side of the hall, starting with the one closest to the dead end. "Heidi, Demetri, me, Jane." He started from the opposite direction on the other side. "Renata, Chelsea and Afton, Corin, Felix. Chelsea and Afton are mates, so they share a room. Corin has a room down here, but she usually stays in the tower with the wives."

Renesmee nodded her head awkwardly, her index fingers tapping on the sides of the box in her hands. Jane was a neighbor, go figure. Couldn't have been a nice, sex-segregated castle. Boys in one wing, girls in the other, maybe a couple guest rooms so people like her didn't have to share with their ex-whatever-he-is.

"Are you," he pushed the door open wider, like she had forgotten he was still leaning against the frame like some kind of goth J. Crew model, "going to come in?"

She set her shoulders back, put one foot in front of the other, and stepped over the threshold. His room looked like she expected and didn't at the same time. She had expected military-style order, but this place was as chaotic as any teenage boy's room. It was much bigger than her room back on the island, definitely bigger than her old room in the cottage. The walls were the same dark stone as the rest of the castle, but most of them were covered by tapestries and portraits. To the right of the door sat a wooden desk, covered with books and sketches on yellowed paper. Beside the desk stood a tall wardrobe that almost looked like it would take her to Narnia if she opened it. Her zipped suitcase sat in front of it.

Directly in front of her was a black leather chaise adorned with one throw pillow and a fuzzy blanket. Behind the chaise, on the wall, was a large tapestry that had faded with time; it looked to portray a jousting tournament.

She turned to take in more of the room beyond the door, but she stopped dead in her tracks. There was a king-sized bed pushed against the back wall. It was made out of wood stained a dark charcoal grey, with a headboard that was taller than she was. Deep red satin sheets draped over it in the most perfect way. "Why do you have a bed?"

Alec sighed, shutting the door behind her now that she'd finally moved. "I don't. Aro must have had it moved in here once he heard you were coming."

"And I couldn't sleep on the couch, because…?" Renesmee accused. She propped the box against her thigh with one hand as the other fell to her hip.

"Aro might be fine making a lot of different impressions on a lot of people, but never let it be said that he's a poor host."

Renesmee groaned, resisting the urge to stomp her foot like a child but just barely. "Being here is already giving me a headache."

"I'm sorry about that mess in the thro-" She cut him off with her hand.

Her eyes slid shut as she exhaled through her nose. "Don't. I knew he was going to try something like this even before I showed up. I just had a misplaced hope he would have some un-Aro-like change of heart."

"But he's read my mind now. He knows we have no intention of raising the baby here, at least not solely."

"And you think that's it? Problem magically solved? This is Aro. He gets what he wants, and what he wants is Peanut."

"We don't even know if Peanut has a gift yet," Alec rationalized. Renesmee felt ready to tear her hair out. Did he really have so much faith in his master all the time that he could be so naive?

"Jesus! Get real. This is the child of the most powerful vampire in the world - the grandchild of Edward and Bella Cullen, for crying out loud! It's only a matter of time before Peanut's gifts start coming out."

"What if they don't? Maybe that will be the end of it."

"The end of it? Who are you trying to fool here?" She shook her head at him in outrage. "Maybe she won't have a gift when she's born. But you can damn sure bet Aro will be waiting for a single sign of an ability, and if it's not there, he'll create it. I mean, dammit, he wouldn't wait two minutes past her reaching maturity before he sunk his teeth into her! Does this," she held up the wooden box in her hand, "seem like the kind of man who's going to just back down?!"

"I can't talk to you like this," he said calmly. It only spiked her anger. He should be as worked up about this as she was, but he was the picture of serenity. It made her sick. "You're not thinking rationally."

"Who's not thinking rationally here, me or you?! Because it seems like I'm the only one who cares about Peanut's well-being right now."

"Don't you dare," he growled at her. His fists clenched by his side, but he stayed put. "Do not dare say I don't care about this baby."

She took a shaky breath, trying to steady her nerves and think before she spoke. "Get. Out."

"This is my room. You can't kick me out!"

"Dammit, get out before I say something I don't mean!" Renesmee screamed at him. He stepped back, shocked at her outburst. It seemed like he still wanted to argue, but he wisely shut his mouth and nodded.

"Take some time to...gather your thoughts. I'll be back later," he said, calmly leaving the room and shutting the door securely behind him.

It didn't take her two seconds before Renesmee let out an enraged shriek and hurled the wooden box at the wall. As she watched it fall, the lid cracking and one side breaking off its hinges, she couldn't help but wonder, irrationally, if meeting Alec hadn't been the worst mistake of her life.

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 **A/N: Hope you guys enjoy drama, there's more where this came from! :***

 **Don't forget to review! Your reviews make for one very happy writer!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: I literally can't own Twilight because if I did, it never would have gotten finished.**

 **A/N: _Guess who's back with a brand new chap that's gonna have everybody in the club goin' mad?_** **I'm using humor to cover up the fact I'm a trash writer and you guys probably hate me now, so hi! I'm back. (P.S. read the Author's Note at the end for important information!)**

 **Warning: language, jealousy, soft!Jane, mentions of drinking human blood, cliffhangers bc you already know I gotta have 'em**

* * *

Fighting with Renesmee was the last thing Alec wanted to do, especially now. They had to have each other's backs if she was going to make it in Volterra. The entire situation was out-of-hand, so much so that Alec could barely focus on whatever poor human he had chosen to sink his teeth into. He didn't see their face; he just attacked and drained them in the blink of an eye. And though his hunger was now sated, he was still shaken about his row with Renesmee.

In all honesty, he was just as irritated with Aro as she was - even more so, probably. He knew firsthand what it was like to be stuck in this castle, and though he usually held no complaints about it, he didn't want his child to be stuck here with him. He wouldn't allow it.

But just because he was annoyed didn't mean he was going to take that out on her, because it wasn't her fault his master was the most power-hungry man he had ever met. Obviously she had no qualms about taking her anger out on him though; however, it was better she yell at him than lash out at Aro, that was for sure. He just didn't know how he was going to fix all of this yet.

As he left the throne room, he ran into the cause of his other - more immature - frustrations. Demetri stood there, leaning against the wall with arms crossed over his chest and an infuriating smirk on his face. Alec knew it had been wrong, that seed of jealousy that bloomed in his chest when he saw his friend hug Renesmee, but he couldn't help it. Their relationship was still fragile, not entirely repaired after he had broken her heart, and he didn't want Demetri to find a hole and worm his way in. Not that he thought he would, just that he could if he wanted to.

"Are you alright?" Demetri asked, pushing himself off the wall to follow as Alec stalked past.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Would you like a list?" Alec said nothing so Demetri carried on. "Alright then. First, you just tore into that poor woman with a vengeance I have ever only seen Caius muster. Second, we all know what Aro has been planning in regards to the child. You acted quite bizarrely when Felix and I greeted Renesmee. Not to mention, everyone in the east wing could hear the two of you screaming at each other earlier, and-"

Alec growled, whirling around in the blink of an eye to stare Demetri down. He didn't want a descriptive essay about every way that his life had gotten even _more_ fucked up in the matter of an hour. He just wanted to be alone so that he could brew and think about how to handle the situation so that nobody got hurt.

"Must you air my business to the entire city? For the sake of keeping your head attached to your shoulders, just mind your own, Demetri," he threatened. He had no interest in furthering the discussion, but apparently, the fool couldn't take a hint. A trait he had probably picked up from Felix.

"Let me help you, Alec."

"Help me?" His eyes narrowed. Obviously he hadn't been in the best of moods already, but now Demetri was trying to add insult to injury. "What could you possibly know about handling Renesmee that would be of any help to me?"

Demetri rolled his eyes. "Put the little green monster away, Alec. I'm not trying to 'encroach on your territory' or whatever it is you're afraid of." He held his hands up in a sign of surrender. "The only person as close to this situation as the two of you is me. I have been in this with you for months. And believe it or not, I care about what happens to her, in a completely platonic way. Do you want me to talk to her?"

"Absolutely not." That was the last thing he wanted, the Volturi's infamous casanova getting closer to her. No matter what Demetri said, Alec couldn't believe the "platonic" stance coming from him. Felix, maybe. But the only females Demetri had ever been friends with already had mates or, in Jane's case, would break his arm if he so much as looked at her the wrong way. He still wasn't sure where Renesmee fell on that range.

"Fine, if you say so. But do me a favor. You talk to her. You're not the easiest person to read, Alec. She needs to know why you react the way you do. And she deserves to know why you left her to begin with." There was a no-nonsense look on his face Alec wasn't familiar with. Demetri was not a stern person by nature, but there was no humor in his eyes now.

Alec sighed, nodding his head. "She's not going to like it."

"People rarely like the truth. What's important is that you tell her anyway."

* * *

Alec of the Volturi was an absolute coward. He could talk a big game, numb an entire battlefield, even fight hand-to-hand if he had to. He had taken down whole armies over the centuries, acquired a body count hitmen could only ever _dream_ of. But try as he might, he could not find it in him to confront Renesmee.

He knew once he told her everything, she wouldn't be able to get it through her thick skull that he had just been doing what he could for her. He wasn't making excuses when he had told Demetri she wouldn't like his reasoning. She was a very stubborn person, much like her parents. And Lord, have mercy, she was going to rip his head off when he finally talked to her.

He decided to spend his last few hours of undead life in the library instead of going back to his room. Maybe that would give her a little more time to calm down - that was what he told himself at least, so that he didn't seem like as much of a coward as he was being.

He stepped into the dim library, his senses immediately adjusting to the light. As he shut the door behind him, his eyes caught ones as familiar as his own, brighter than ever after a good meal.

"Sister," Alec greeted her calmly, walking around the scattered chairs and tables to sit down across from her. She had a book in her lap, something old obviously, probably poetry.

"Brother," she said just as civilly, tucking one ankle behind the other and shutting the book in her lap as he took the armchair adjacent to hers. "Tiring of Renesmee already?"

He rolled his eyes, leaning back in the chair with both his arms falling to the arms of the chair. He sighed, eyes drifting to the wall behind her head. There, overlooking the library, was a portrait older than the twins themselves of Aro and Didyme - two siblings whose relationship could not have been more different than his with his sister. And yet, theirs seemed to be the more complicated at the moment.

"That would make things easier for you, wouldn't it?"

"In some ways, I suppose. In others… not so much," she said barely above a whisper. He looked back to her in confusion as she kept talking. "I'm your sister, Alec, and you know that well enough. For the past twelve hundred years, it has been you and me above all else. We're a package deal; someone messes with one of us and they deal with both."

"That will never change, Jane." He leaned forward, placing his hand over hers and squeezing it in reassurance. He didn't know any other way to express that he wasn't going anywhere. He was only in the Volturi to begin with because of her. Because she needed a stable place to be, and where she went he went too. It was as simple as that.

"But things are changing, and you know I can't stand for that. We're not Jane and Alec anymore. Soon enough, it won't _just_ be the two of us." She looked up at him with wide eyes, and if her hair had been down around her shoulders, he would have sworn she was the same girl he had tried so hard to protect all those years ago. Red eyes or blue, it made no difference. _This_ was the Jane he hadn't seen in centuries. He wouldn't say it aloud, but he had missed her.

She continued as he stared at her, her form looking more vulnerable than it ever had in their vampire lives. "I suppose it hasn't been just the two of us in a long time, yet I never noticed. And I should have - I, of all people, should have noticed the difference she brought out in you. I'm sorry I didn't, and above all else, I'm sorry for being the person you thought you couldn't tell the truth to. And I'm sorry for the way I acted when I finally discovered the truth."

At the unusually crestfallen look on her face, he kneeled before her, taking her into his arms. Human Jane would have been in tears by now, and while they were no longer the same people as back then, they obviously hadn't changed as much as they put on.

"You never have to apologize to me, Janie." He hadn't called her that in millenia. Since they were children, probably. She had hated it even then, but now she just scoffed, slapping him lightly on the back. He chuckled.

"I still hate that name," She muttered, pulling back from their hug. "If you won't let me apologize, at least let me promise that I will be better… to the child, if not Renesmee."

"Ah, there's the Jane I know and love." He smirked, leaning back on his heels. They could only do lovey for so long before both of them decided it was enough. They did have reputations to uphold, after all.

She rolled her eyes, brushing off her dress as though she had rolled around in mud and not just given her brother a simple hug. "Speaking of the hybrid, why are you hiding from her?"

"Who says I'm hiding?" He stood back up, returning to his seat and avoiding eye contact.

"Acting stupid is beneath you, brother."

Sighing, he finally looked back at her. She had one eyebrow arched, waiting for his explanation. "We got into an argument earlier. About Aro and the baby."

Jane snorted, a grin tugging at the corner of her lips. "Indeed, I heard. As did most of the city, I imagine." At the dry look he gives her, she can't help but quip, "Thin masonry."

"Ha ha," he fake-laughed.

"What of it?"

"He wants the baby to join us. When they're of age, of course. He assumes they will have a gift. He even went ahead and got a crest made, small enough for a child."

She made a thoughtful noise, watching his reaction to his words. The furrowed brow, the frustrated set of his lips. "And you don't want that."

"Why would I?"

"Well, they would never leave. You would get to see them whenever you wanted. There would be no stupid custody arrangement or whatever deal you made with Renesmee."

He shook his head, resting his elbow on the arm of the chair and placing his chin in his hand. "Renesmee and I agreed to our arrangement for a reason. This is no life for a child. Not even my child."

Six months a year was already too much. If it weren't for the fact he wanted to be there to help with the child, he wouldn't have agreed to that. He was here for Jane, because this was the only life they've ever known. They weren't born into this, not in the literal sense anyway.

Jane nodded her head slowly. "So what are you going to do?"

"What _can_ I do? Aro wants what he wants, and Renesmee is ready to kill me for not telling him to go to Hell." It's an impossible situation, and it has to be handled delicately. Not jumping in head first like Renesmee seemed so keen on doing.

"So instead of confronting your problems, your plan is to...what? Hide until she either forgets or has the baby?"

"No," he denied vehemently. "I'm going to talk to her, to explain everything that has happened from my point of view. I just...wanted a moment to collect my thoughts."

Jane waited a beat or two before looking at him with a straight face. "Are you done?" He stared at her incredulously, his hands splayed outwards, palms up in a 'what do you mean?!' gesture. "You are being an idiot, Alec, and as your sister, I can say that."

"Okay?"

"As much as I do not like Renesmee, you need to talk to her. She's carrying your child, and she deserves to know whatever you're keeping from her."

"Have you been gossiping with Demetri?"

"That's beside the point." He took that as a confirmation. "I know this sounds insane coming from me, but talk to her. Now."

He followed the point of her finger to the closed door to the library and back. She had a stern look on her face like when she had to make a tough call on a mission. He briefly wondered if he was on a parallel universe then decided if he was he had no idea how he had gotten there in the first place. But if he talked to Renesmee in this universe and she killed him, maybe he would still be "alive" in the normal one, so it was worth a shot.

He gave her a puzzled look as he stood up. "I don't know what happened to the real Jane, but I would like her back soon please."

Jane rolled her eyes, pushing him towards the door. "I love you too, brother."

* * *

It hadn't taken two seconds after Alec left earlier for her to break down into frustrated tears. As she felt the first ones slip down her warm face, flushed in anger, she slapped them away and groaned to herself. She was absolutely sick of crying.

To distract herself from their most recent argument and her most recent breakdown, she decided to take a shower. Wandering through the only other door in the room, the one that didn't lead to the hallway, she found the bathroom.

All it held was a clawfoot tub with a shower attachment, an ancient pedestal sink, a shelf of toiletries and another door. Curiously, she opened it, peering into the other room. Her eyes widened and she quickly shut it as she realized whose room she was staring into. She didn't need Jane appearing out of nowhere and scratching her eyes out for peeping into her room.

She cursed the vampire physiology for their lack of a bladder, because that meant she would have to find other places to pee. Hopefully, this castle had at least one toilet in it - after all, they had human servants, didn't they?

She gathered a change of clothes and her shampoo and conditioner from her suitcase, carrying it back to the bathroom. She left the clothes on the shelf and set the soap in the shower. She tried to lock the door to Jane's room, but upon closer inspection, she found no lock. Sighing, she relented and started stripping her old clothes off. If the shower was going, Jane would know not to come in.

It took the shower all of thirty seconds to heat up to her liking, and she hopped in, pulling the shower curtain taut around the tub. Inside, she tried to let everything on the outside go as she lathered up her hair meticulously. The overwhelming scent of vanilla drifted out of the shower, filling the room and mixing with the steam.

Washing the shampoo out of her hair, she watched the suds flow down her naked body and down the drain, wishing they would take her problems with her. Her hands drifted down to her stomach, rubbing the subtle bump there. She was already fourteen weeks along, into her second trimester, but her bump looked like nothing more than a little bloating. Still, it was nice to have something to show for all her troubles.

She smiled, rubbing a flat hand along the bottom of her stomach. "I'm not going to let anything happen to you. Aro can go to Hell."

Spots danced in her vision for a split second before they vanished, and she shook her head to clear it. Shrugging it off, she finished her shower routine with no other interruptions.

After she was fully dressed and had dried her hair to the best of her ability without a blow dryer, she exited the bathroom and jumped half a foot as she spotted Alec leaned against his desk across the room.

He looked up at her, conflict warring behind his eyes as he crossed his arms over his chest. She gulped, running her hands over the legs of her pants. Her eyes darted around the room, searching for a way out of the awkward confrontation she knew was coming. She couldn't go out the way she came in because she would have to go straight towards him. She couldn't go out through Jane's room, because _uh, no thank you._ She was trapped.

"We need to talk."

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 **A/N: Okay, so yeah, another cliffhanger. Sue me. BUT there is good news. Because I have been slacking on all of you, I'm doing a DOUBLE UPDATE WEEK! All I need from you guys is 5 reviews on this chapter by Sunday (Feb. 24, 2019). Yes, only 5. Give me 5 reviews, or you get the next update on Sunday (whichever comes first!)**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Wow, you guys don't waste any time. You upheld your end of the bargain, so here's mine. Feel free to cry, I did while writing it.**

 **Warning: emotions, language**

* * *

"Those are the most hateful words in the English language," she complained as she stepped further into the room. She almost sat down on the bed, but after a brief moment of hesitation - still incredulous Aro had put a bed in here, probably not for the purpose of sleeping - she chose to sit on the chaise instead. Giving him a wide berth as if he would jump out and bite her at any moment, she perched on the edge of the couch, wrapping her arms around herself protectively.

"Renesmee-"

"Look, I'm sorry," she blurted out, effectively cutting him off. Whatever he was going to say, she didn't want to hear it. "I shouldn't have yelled at you earlier. Whatever Aro wants with Peanut, it's not your fault. I shouldn't have taken it out on you."

He stared at her for a moment, astonishment shining in his eyes. "You have nothing to apologize for. I'm the one who is sorry. I didn't know how to react earlier, but I need you to know I agree with you."

He pushed off the desk, taking a few steps closer to her and shoving his hands into his pockets in an uncharacteristic display of insecurity. "I have no intention of letting Aro get his way, and as soon as I am capable, I will discuss the situation in its entirety with him. This is our child, and we are the only ones that get a say in how they're raised."

She exhaled heavily, nodding at his words. It just felt nice to know they were on the same page after all. "Maybe if I hadn't jumped down your throat earlier, you could've told me that. Sometimes I just… yell first and ask questions later." She winced, curling in on herself. "Sorry."

He shook his head at her and flashed her an uncomfortable smile. The easiest part was out of the way. Now came the real challenge. Talking about what happened between them back in May.

* * *

 _He went back to her nearly immediately after his talk with Demetri. He had become a pro at vanishing right from under everyone's noses in the past months. Usually they were all so busy with this hobby or that one that they never noticed he wasn't around. After all, it wasn't always business in Volterra. They had more downtime than they let on._

 _It took hours of nonstop running to get back to her hotel room, but she was still there, half-asleep on the bed in the wee hours of the morning, when he got back in. He almost felt bad for waking her, but the hours of alone time on the way there had given him time to think and his mind was made up. He had to do something about this, no matter how much he didn't like it._

 _"Do you love her?" Demetri had asked. And God, did he dread the answer to that question, as immediate as it was. It had taken forever for him to admit it to himself - he wasn't even ready to say it out loud to her, let alone Demetri. But he did. He does. And that's why what Demetri said next scared the shit out of him._

 _"You're risking her life for nothing."_

 _And he was right. Alec was taking unnecessary risks with Renesmee's health and happiness and for completely selfish reasons. He couldn't give her what she needed, the life she deserved. Being with a man sworn to serve another for his eternal life was no life for her. She needed someone who could make her top priority, not someone who could end it at a moment's notice if his master told him to._

 _And there was the Other Thing. The thing that was merely gossip, a rumor spread around the halls of Volterra, with no proof to back it up. It was a ghost story told around the flicker of a campfire, mere speculation since none of the guard is old enough to corroborate. That Aro would go so far as to kill his own sister if she got in the way of their coven's power._

 _He couldn't risk Renesmee sharing that fate._

 _"Alec?" she called out groggily as she sat up in bed. The window on the other side of the room illuminated her silhouette, the rising sun coming in through the parted curtains. "What are you doing back so soon?"_

 _After a few moments, he loosened his tongue, his teeth aching from grinding them together so hard. Simply put, he stated, "We can't do this anymore."_

 _Renesmee all but fell out of the bed in her haste to stand up, the sheets trailing behind her as she stepped closer to him. He could still see the love bites he had left on her neck earlier, reminding him that hours before, there had been an entirely different situation going down in this room._

 _"What are you talking about?" Her voice was still clouded with sleep as she stumbled towards him, but he silenced her with a single hand._

 _He shut his eyes tight, strengthening his resolve. "Us. This. It's over, Renesmee." When he opened his eyes again, he was met with hers, wide and disbelieving._

 _"N-No it's not." She shook her head vehemently, chewing on her bottom lip in her anxiety. When he just stared at her blankly, she asked, "What happened? Why...why are you doing this?"_

 _He could hear the tears she was fighting back clog her voice. Her heart beat erratically, her breathing coming out in uneven gasps. He hated this, all of it. He wished things could be different. That they lived in a version of their world where they could be together without repercussions, without worry, without pain. But that was a fantasy, a dream that had no place in his head._

 _He had to be strong. Reserved. Unfeeling._

 _Same old Alec._

 _"Nothing happened. I just," - irony is a bitch - "came to my senses. We can't keep doing this. Things need to change."_

 _She nodded immediately, holding onto his words for dear life. Completely misinterpreting his meaning. "Okay. We stop hiding, I don't care. Just… please don't do what I think you're trying to." She grasped his hand, trying to intertwine their fingers, but he pulled back. She reeled like he had slapped her._

 _"I'm not talking about telling our families." A mask slipped over his face, shutting down any semblance of emotion on the outside, but inside, he was raging. His heart and his mind were at war, and only one of them was going to win. And giving in to his heart had never brought him anything but pain. Feelings aren't reliable, logic is._

 _"I'm going back to Volterra. You won't see me again. Goodbye, Renesmee." He turned around to walk out, leave her behind for good, but she called out to him one last time._

 _"Alec, why are you doing this?" Her voice cracked, and he knew without turning around that the tears she had been holding back had finally broken through the dam._

 _"I can't give you what you need, Renesmee. I'm not… good for you."_

 _And then, he walked out, the sounds of her cries wrecking him more than he could ever destroy himself._

* * *

They stared at each other for what felt like forever, neither of them knowing what to say to the other one. A small piece of the puzzle had been put into place, but a much bigger chunk was still missing, and it was harder to fit. They started to speak at the same time.

"I appreciate-"

"That's not all I wanted to say."

"Oh," she snapped her mouth closed, tucking her hands tightly between her legs. She had never had such a hard time looking at him. "What else did you want to talk about?"

"May."

"No," she blatantly refused. She stood up, shaking her head as she walked away from him. She couldn't talk about this right now. They had just made up from their previous fight. She didn't need to bring up _those_ memories. "I'm not talking about it."

"Renesmee, we have to. We can't keep ignoring this...this thing between us." He motioned to the two of them, like there was a physical entity separating them from each other.

She snapped, whirling around on him in a rage. "This 'thing?' You mean the thing _you_ put there? You, not me. If you didn't want us to have problems, then why did you do it? Huh?" It had plagued her for too long. Maybe he was right, maybe they did need to talk. Then they could finally clear the air, let go of the baggage holding them to each other, and focus on being good parents.

"I didn't think I would ever see you again!" He threw his hands up in frustration.

"Yes, that part of your speech I remember quite well. But that doesn't tell me why you did it, does it?" She stared him down, crossing her arms over her chest. "So go on."

He sighed, running his hands down his face. "I don't do well with emotions."

"I know, you're allergic to every human emotion on the spectrum, we're past that. I want an answer, I deserve that much."

"Because Demetri said something that scared the shit out of me, okay!" His control had officially vanished. A different form of Alec had taken the usually reserved one's place. This one was manic, panicked, desperate. He was tired of lying and hiding.

She stopped then, her arms dropping to her sides as she stared at him in confusion. "Demetri? What could he possibly have said to make you change your mind about us so quickly?"

Clasping both hands behind his head, he stared at the floor in turmoil. This wasn't going the way he thought it would in his head. He had wanted to be level-headed, strong, but this wasn't about logic anymore. This was about feelings through and through.

"You don't know what being in the Volturi is like. There are rumors…" He sighed, shaking his head. "If Aro had caught wind of this before, if he considered you a distraction… He could have…"

Like a lightbulb had finally gone off over her head after all this time, she took a shaky breath and nodded as she stared at a blank spot on the wall. When she spoke, it was barely above a whisper. "You left because you wanted to protect me. From Aro." Every fight they had had recently could be traced back to that man.

He nodded reluctantly, finally looking up at her. Pain was written all over his face, etched into the set of his brows and the purse of his lips. "I couldn't take the chance with you. What I felt for you was too strong."

 _Feel._

Her head turned to face him faster than the crack of a whip. "Oh, do you wanna talk about _feelings_ now?" Renesmee stepped closer to him, her hands balling into fists. She felt her face heat up from the anger coursing through her veins. How could he have the _audacity_ …

"No, let's talk about how _I_ felt when you left. When you fed me some bullshit line about not being good for me and walked out the door like I never mattered to you. How you left me crumpled on the floor of my hotel room like some piece of paper that you threw away like garbage. How I spent months wondering what I possibly could have done to make you turn on me so quickly. You wanted to protect me from Aro, but no one was around to protect me from you."

He gaped at her, every word cutting into him like a knife. Theoretically, it might be cathartic to let the truth out, but who ever really wants to hear it?

"I spent all of my days trying to forget the sound of your voice, the way you used to touch me, even your goddamn name. You haunted me in my dreams and every waking moment. I nearly scrubbed my skin raw in the shower just trying to find a piece of me you had never touched. And after all this time, you're telling me that you left me because you couldn't bear to lose me."

"Essentially." It was a weak response, and he knew it. But he couldn't think of any eloquent way to express how much she was tearing him apart right now. To know how she had struggled after what he did… He truly felt like the worst of the worst.

Hot tears burned her vision as she stared him down. Did he have nothing to say for himself? For all the things he had put her through? All the fight left her body, leaving her numb.

"That should have been my choice."

Shaking his head, he huffed out a bitter laugh. "You're so stubborn, Renesmee. I knew how that would go down."

"Did that mean I didn't deserve to know?" She raged. "Dammit, Alec!"

That was the first time she had said his name out loud in months. It had finally relinquished the grip it had on her vocal chords, clawing its way out of her throat. It felt like resolution, to finally be able to say it aloud, even if it was in anger.

"I was in love with you," her voice broke, coming out in a choked gurgle. After all this time, it felt like a burden lifted off her shoulders, even as the tears started coming down faster. "God help me, I think I still am."

Alec took a deep, shuddering breath, his heart breaking entirely and piecing itself back together in the same moment. In an instant, he was in front of her, cradling her face in his hands and trying to wipe the tears away even as more kept falling. Even like this, with her hair wet from a shower and her face red from anger with tears spilling from her eyes, he could never see anything but beauty. She persevered even after everything he had put her through. She was stronger than him a million times over, strong enough to admit her feelings and strong enough to be vulnerable in front of the person she cared about.

He may be the strongest vampire in the world - with his gift anyway - but she has the strongest character he's ever had the pleasure to witness.

No longer able to resist the pull between them, he leaned down and met her lips. It was like riding a bicycle, the way they fell into the kiss so naturally. The salt of her tears slipped through the cracks of their lips, but they didn't care. Renesmee's hands clenched the fabric of his shirt, holding herself as close to him as possible. After a few moments, he finally let her take a breath, wrapping his arms around her body.

"I am so sorry," He whispered in her ear, eyes shut tightly. "I hated myself for hurting you, I still do. I will do anything I can to make it right."

She nodded against his chest, her tears finally slowing to a trickle. "One step at a time."

One step at a time. For now, they're right where they need to be.

* * *

 **A/N: Is waiting 17 chapters for a kiss too long? lol**


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